The Secret Way to Beat Shyness

by Peter Murphy 

Have you ever found yourself in a social gathering and felt intimidated or wanted to beat shyness? Maybe the whirlwind of negative thoughts in your head stopped you meeting new people, joining a conversation or participating fully. If only you could take charge of your thoughts and finally beat shyness. You could have a lot of fun, be yourself and make lots of new friends! 

How To Switch Off Negative Thoughts: 

1 Use Your Secret Pressure Point 

On the roof of your mouth directly behind your two front teeth there is a fleshy ball at the point where your gums meet the back of your front teeth. If you touch this pressure point with the tip of your tongue you will find that the chatter inside your head eases off dramatically. 

Without realizing it a lot of the time your tongue makes very slight movements to match the inner talk inside your head. Stop the tongue from moving and the chatter stops. 

Touching the pressure point with your tongue also helps to relax you which is a useful benefit when you are already feeling anxious at a social gathering.  This will help you to beat shyness because you will feel more positive and more relaxed - two factors that help when you want to make conversation.

2 Interrupt The Pattern 

Your mind can only pay attention to one thing at a time. Take your mind off of negative thoughts by giving your mind something else to focus on.

I often listen to my favorite music when I want to switch my attention off of negative thoughts. This can be when I am driving or when I am in the house. 

If I am socializing and I want to interrupt the pattern of limiting thoughts I will listen to my favorite music only this time I recall the memory and hear it inside my head. 

A friend of mine with a very stressful job has a great way to start his day. He listen to the James Bond theme tune up loud while he is shaving. Doing this makes him laugh as well as energizing him. Later in the day it is easy for him to recall the tune if he needs to distract his mind and get off of the negatives. 

You can do the same thing and beat shyness so as to make conversation. Test this for yourself. When you feel great the rest will follow.

3 Preparation With Disaster Planning 

One other way to take charge of the negative thoughts is to prepare before the social event by discovering and dealing with the negative thoughts before they surface. 

Make a list of all the things that could embarrass you. Write down all the things that could go wrong. And then brainstorm awkward situations you might find yourself in. Really indulge yourself and let your imagination run riot! 

Now! For each hazardous situation write down three ways to deal effectively with the situation. Take your time at this. Once you have finished this exercise you will feel more confident because you will know you can handle whatever happens. 

For example, you are afraid to approach someone to initiate a conversation. Why? Get specific! What could go wrong? 

The person might laugh at you, ignore you, walk away and leave you looking stupid or just insult you. You get the point. I am exaggerating how bad it could be so as to cover all possibilities. 

How would I handle the situation if the person laughed at me and then insulted me before walking way? What three options could I use? 

1 Follow the person and laugh at them! 

2 Count myself lucky I did not spend any more time with such a rude person before immediately moving on to someone else. 

3 Tell everyone else how rude that person is. That ought to get their attention and sympathy. 

Finally, realize that dealing with people is down to mathematics. For every 20 people you meet you may bump into a moron. Now that you have already met the moron it is time to meet the 19 nice people who would love to meet you!

Use these tips right away to beat shyness and to make conversation with people.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm