How To Have Better People Skills

by Peter Murphy

Do you really want better people skills?

Would you like to know three secrets to becoming a great conversationalist? What if you could make a quantum leap in your ability to communicate effectively with people? Read on to learn how to have better people skills.

There are three key distinctions that can help you to move ahead even faster than you think possible and develop better people skills...

1. Do What Works More Often

We all know what we should do. But do we do it? Not usually. Once you have a proven system for communicating effectively it is up to you to use it each day. The challenge for most people is that they get caught up in day to day life and forget to apply the new techniques they have learned.

You need to make a point of using what works otherwise you will never develop proficiency in this area of your life. Take one technique, strategy or approach and commit to using it five times a day for the next seven days. When you do this you will be amazed at your rapid progress.

For example, you might decide to pay more attention to listening skills.

Before long that technique will become part of how you live and it will become second nature to you. At this point you can move onto another technique.

Choose one and commit to using it daily until you master it. This is the key to developing better people skills.

2. Stop Doing What Does Not Work

We all have habits, good ones and bad ones, that seem to have a life of their own. We do certain things in certain ways without even thinking about it.

This can become a challenge when the habit stops you from connecting with people. You might find that you always feel nervous meeting new people or that your mind goes blank when someone in a meeting asks you to share your thoughts with the group. In these situations you are responding on automatic in the same way each time. A bad unconscious habit from the past is in control - not your conscious mind in the present moment.

You can change and master people skills..

First of all identify those situations where you always get stuck. Be as specific as possible. Now, understand that what you are doing is not working and never will. This is the equivalent of trying to open a door with the wrong key. No matter how many times you try it that door will not open. You need to drop the bad habit and replace it with a new habit.

What is the best way to install a new habit? Use repetition with emotional intensity!

When you repeat a new habit with strong feelings in a structured way that makes sense to your conscious and unconscious mind you will quickly and easily set up a new and better pattern of behavior.

For example, you could visualize yourself taking with confidence. Build vivid pictures and use lots of emotion. Do this daily.

You will then find yourself talking to complete strangers with confidence without nerves or anxiety. You will feel relaxed and at ease and people will respond positively to your words.

3. Copy And Mimic Role Models

One of the fastest ways to move ahead is to notice what highly successful people do and then copy their approach. Find people in your community and workplace who have great people skills and pay very close attention to what they do. If you can - make a point of spending time with them in different situations.

For example I learned a lot from one of my mentors by going shopping with him at the mall. He did the same things in the same way in every store we visited. He even used the same jokes with every store assistant.

Originality is overrated!

I copied his approach and it worked for me too. I now use the same small talk, jokes and approach whenever I want to get rapport with store assistants. And it works everywhere I go. This is not rocket science its common sense.

To sum up better people skill is a matter of strategy.

There is no need for you to reinvent the wheel. Copy what works and don´t make the mistake of over analyzing why it works. Learn by watching role models and by following their lead. You will then move ahead much more quickly.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Get it today to learn how to have better people skills.