Thursday, April 29, 2010

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Sunday, April 23, 2006

How to Laugh in the Face of Rejection

Today I am releasing a new and controversial breakthrough
solution to the one problem that most people hope will go
away all by itself.

Find out why this will make such a big difference to so
many people. Click here now:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/laughatrejection.htm



Enjoy!

Peter Murphy

Saturday, February 18, 2006

The People Who Can Help You Get What You Want

The latest article is posted here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/

Some of the ideas are a little controversial so don´t pass this link on.

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/2006/01/24/the-people-who-can-help-you-the-most/

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Reason Why Communication Success is an Inside Job

What I am going to talk about today is quite personal. By
sharing a personal story I hope you will grasp just why
excellent communication skills are not just a nice to have
-- these skills are essential if you are to get what you
deserve and need for yourself and those you care about.

Let me explain...

I just got off the phone with my friend Kim. She had good
news and bad news. The good news first - her mother has
just got the all clear from the hospital and is now clear
of breast cancer. The procedure was a success.

The bad news, her mother has an aggressive form of cancer.
The really bad news... the doctor told her to come back in
6 months. That´s right, because of hospital budgets and
management policies they have no intention of keeping a
close eye on her situation. They have no plans to do
anything unless and until symptoms reoccur.

Kim heard this and hit the roof. She rushed to the hospital
and met with the doctor. She then discussed the seriousness
of her mothers condition and asked the doctor for help and
guidance.

She then went one step further - she got the doctor to try
harder and to commit to getting her mother the best
treatment possible. Kim used charm, persuasion and
personality to win over the doctor.

What´s interesting about all this is that if Kim had not
spoken up her mother would not now be benefiting from the
dedicated and committed attention of the hospital.

Kim´s mother would be one more victim of a resource
strapped health care system - forgotten about and left
untreated when she needs it the most.

What is the big lesson for you and I?

When you know how to make a great impression good things
happen; when you can win people over resources are at your
disposal that others do without; when you can stand up and
be counted even with the pressure on, people listen to you.
Others want to be with you and they are more than happy to
help you get what you want.

We live in busy hectic times and those who speak up and
know how to win peoples attention, confidence and support
dominate in business. These same people also enjoy full and
happy social lives. These individuals are popular,
respected, liked and appreciated by their friends.

Life is not fair. You are much more likely to get what you
want if you go and ask for what you want.... and especially
if people like and respect you.

Those who remain passive and unsure end up getting what is
left over. They take what they can get.

The funny thing is your life does not need to be like this.
You CAN get what you want. But first you need to discover
how the game is really played. You need to realize that
success with people is an inside job.

When you see smiling, confident, dynamic people you see
those who have mastered the inner game of communication
confidence. They know how to feel great about themselves,
they know how to transfer this charisma to whoever they
meet.

People like Kim...

She know how to step up and make people respond to her
requests. Even under pressure, even in a life and death
situation she can calmly and confidently ask for and get
what is needed. And thankfully her mother will now live
longer to enjoy her grandchildren.

You can do the same...

Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.

Communicating with confidence can be learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Difficult Conversations and How to Turn Them Around

by Peter Murphy

Many of us have run into difficult people. Some people even
like difficult conversations. Arguments are necessary and
are going to happen, but this difficulty shouldn’t stop you
from communicating.

Nobody agrees 100% of the time, so arguing is a natural
part of the conversation. However, some arguments are
unproductive and lead to hard feelings and can even ruin
relationships.

Knowing how to deal with difficult conversations can ensure
that your argument will not turn out too bad.

The following tips will help you to argue more effectively.
You will see how you can learn from an argument and what is
necessary to make sure an argument ends on the right foot.

Tip#1 Communicate effectively.

You should not use yelling and harsh words to get your
point across. Instead speak calmly and be cautious of words
you use. Use sentences that say "I" instead of blaming
sentences that use "You".

You should always be aware that you have a point and try to
explain it while also taking in the other persons point.
Don´t let anyone give you the impression your opinion is
not worth expressing.

Tip#2 Remember the other person.

There are two sides to any argument. You should give the
other person respect and listen to their side. Do not shut
them out.

Do not stray from the topic at hand. Most often people
start bringing up past fights or other things that are
completely unrelated to the current argument. Doing his can
cause the other person to shut down and not even want to
speak to you.

Tip#3 Focus.

You should be really trying to work out the problem. Keep
feelings out of the mix. Do not try to make the other
person feel bad because they disagree with you. Watch their
body language to see if they are tense or starting to feel
relaxed.

Arguments go better when people can relax a little. This
helps them to listen better. Be specific with what you
think and what you want the outcome to be. Avoid using the
phrase "I don’t know".

Tip#4 Resolution.

The ultimate goal with difficult conversations is to
resolve the issue. Try to work out a compromise. Perhaps
someone will have changed their mind by the end. You need
to resolve any negative feelings that may have cropped up
as a result of the argument.

You want everything to return to as it was before the
argument. Nobody should hold any resentment or the argument
was never really resolved.

You do not have to fight to get things done. You can use
these tips in almost any atmosphere where difficult
conversations may crop up.

It doesn’t even matter if the other person is not reacting
this way, as long as you use these tips the other person
should calm down as well. You are not only arguing
effectively, but teaching others by example how to argue
better.

Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to improve your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.

Communicating with confidence can be learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.

Friday, December 02, 2005

The Best Way To Get People To Like You

by Peter Murphy

What does everyone want? When you think about it there is
one human need that can never be satisfied for very long.

Like hunger it demands to be attended to until we are
content and if we ignore it for too long we just don´t feel
right.

I am of course talking about the approval of other people.
We all want and indeed need to be liked by others and yet
we never seem to get enough affection, attention or love.

Of course there is a right way and a wrong way of getting
people to like you. If you demand to be liked, force others
to approve of you or constantly seek approval the end
result is always the same - you end up pushing people away.

What is the best way to get people to like you? The answer
is so obvious and so simple that most people will never
accept that it is so. Still, I´ll tell you.

The secret is to firstly approve of yourself and secondly
to choose to find the good in others. When you apply both
of these principles it causes people to respond positively
to you.

Why?

Because as we know only 7% of communication is verbal. When
you feel great about your self it comes across in your
voice tone and facial expressions.

That glow of self approval is very attractive to other
people and virtually forces them to pay more attention to
you and whatever you say.

Now, go to lesson 12 in my book: The Self Appreciation
Enhancer. This technique is a quick and easy way to boost
your self-esteem on a daily basis.

Make a point of feeling great because the happier you feel
the greater the impact your words will have on everyone you
meet.

And when you look for the good in others they can see it in
your eyes, hear it in your words and notice your interest
in them.

Make time for activities and people that energize you. And
of course do schedule in time to recharge so that when you
need to be at your best you have an abundance of energy to
draw on.

Bye for now,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is the author of the proven system for
transforming self-doubt into self-confidence. Develop
great conversation skills and master small talk.

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Thursday, November 10, 2005

What To Do When People Don´t Listen

by Peter Murphy

Whether you like it or not sometimes people will ignore you
or pretend they are listening to you when they are not. As
you know this can be very frustrating.

So what can you do?

The first thing to remember is that there is no point in
continuing to do what is not working. If what you are doing
is ineffective take a moment to accept that fact.

Shift your focus away from pushing to be heard and instead
get creative and ask yourself...

How can I attract attention?

Here are 4 great ideas for attracting attention when you
want to be listened to:

1. Speak more softly

This sounds counter intuitive but can be highly effective
if you had attention initially . Think about it. When
someone is speaking and you cannot hear what is being said
doesn´t that arouse your curiosity?

Of course it does!

And most people will ask you to speak up as long as they
are not preoccupied doing something else. The secret is to
speak with enthusiasm and energy but very softly. This can
ignite an intense urgent curiosity that forces the other
person to pay very close attention to you.

When you speak more softly the other person has no choice -
she must pay close attention to you. This is a great way to
take control of the conversation.

2. Stop talking

If the other person is pretending to listen to you it is
good to stop talking. Stop and wait to see how the other
person reacts.

Let the silence linger until he encourages you to resume.
If he says nothing at all you can then ask for feedback on
what you said.

This puts the other person under pressure to start paying
more attention to what you are saying.

3. Create a diversion

When the other person is clearly not paying attention it is
good to break that pattern by creating a diversion. This
can take many forms such as asking for input, saying
something controversial or doing something silly.

For example you could ask an unusual question that forces
someone to pay attention and respond in some way. Maybe out
of the blue you ask someone: what is your favorite flavor
of ice cream?

Yes, it has nothing to do with the ongoing conversation and
for this reason it breaks the pattern - you are speaking
and the other person is not really paying attention.

Once you recapture attention you can then get back on
topic. Obviously you need to be careful with this concept
and adapt it to the context and people you are talking to.

4. Vary volume, tempo and tone

When you add variety to the way you are expressing yourself
it is very hard to ignore you. It´s like when you hear good
music it forces you to listen because of the variance in
tempo, rhythm and tone. The same applies to speaking in an
interesting way.

Play with emphasizing key words, pause for dramatic effect
and talk more quickly or more slowly to keep the other
person paying attention.

It takes a little practice to get this right and when you
do people will find it very difficult to not give you their
undivided attention.

Developing these people skills may require some work and
dedication, depending on the extent of help you need. One
of the most important parts of being a "people person" is
to be a positive thinker who is optimistic, motivated and
projects a positive image and attitude.

You should work every day to send out positive and creative
signals to others by your words, actions and body language.
The way you act can have either a negative or positive
impact on others as well as yourself.

If you want to succeed in both your personal and
professional life, or further develop your people skills,
it is crucial to change from a pattern of destructive,
negative thoughts to positive, creative thinking.

Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start. Communicating with
confidence can be learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It only took me 14 years to figure out the fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills? There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Start your 365 day trial today. P.S. the key to greater
success and happiness in life is simple - make new friends,
develop new contacts, help others and let others help you.
Without better people skills we all get stuck where we are.