Who does not want to have more friends and influence more
people? This can lead to a happier life, a better job, and
enriched lifestyle. Essentially, there are no minuses and
only pluses to building up your network of friends and
associates. So, here are ten reasons why those communication
skills will yield more friends, and help you in influencing
1. Because They Show an Interest
Good communication is a two-way street. By using the simple
traits of talking and listening to others, you can build up
friendships and influence people. It is quite common for
people to love to talk about themselves or a favourite
subject. People with good communication skills will show an
interest in that subject and ask questions.
Also, showing an interest can be conveyed by non-verbal
signals and they’re also part of good communication skills.
You keep eye contact with the person speaking, you nod and
gesture, when appropriate. Your body is turned toward the
person and you’re not just flopped across a chair.
All of these subtle body language signals convey meaning to
the other person subconsciously. By honing all of your
communication skills, you can win people over.
2. By Being Positive
People hear negative things all the time: in the news, from
critics, their bosses, and so on. Good communication skills
mean not merely focusing on the
There is an old saying that speaks of catching more flies
with honey than vinegar. A good communicator knows to not
give feint praises; they need to be valid, but even praising
a child for just making their bed or putting their dirty
dishes in the sink can go a long way to influencing them.
This is where honesty comes into the picture. If you give
false praise, invariably the truth will one day come out and
then you have lost a friend or the ability to influence that
person in the future. You can be positive without going
3. Because They Are Friendly
To get a friend you have to be a friend, and this is
communicated in words and actions; sometimes merely a smile
can convey that. Step one is getting to know people, which
involves showing an interest and being a good listener. You
then talk to the people about things they like, show an
interest in those subjects, and project your desire to know
You can find someone incredibly interesting, friendly and
desirable, but if you can’t communicate all of that to them,
you aren’t going to build friendships and influence people.
If you’re able to talk to people in a friendly manner, if
you can write to them on subject they like, if your body
language conveys interest and curiosity in them, this will
lead them to reciprocate.
4. By Remembering Details
It’s said that God is in the details; so too is connecting
with people to influence them and become friends.
This ties in with several points already mentioned; when you
talk to someone or read about them, you invariably pick up
small details about them, their lives, their likes and
A critical aspect of good communication skills is
remembering these details and then using them to advance
your goals. If you write a letter to someone and remember to
ask about their wife or mother, they pick up on that.
If you’re trying to influence people to buy a product or
support you, giving a presentation where you mention
something that is important to them, that is a step toward
winning them over.
5. Because They Encourage Others
There are plenty of naysayers in the world that will tell
others they cannot do something. Part of good communication
skills is encouraging people to achieve, to live up to their
This doesn’t mean giving them false hope; that again is a
sure way of losing friends and not influencing people.
By assessing the abilities of others, seeing where their
strengths lie and then encouraging them toward a reasonable
goal, you can make friends. In this case, the good
communication skills are the ability to give the right sort
of pep talk, or giving them the guidance to find where their
talents can take them.
6. By Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable
People won’t agree all the time and some people are very
vocal in their disagreements. Using good communication
skills to get the fact that you disagree with someone
across, without being argumentative will allow them to see
your point of view, yet not feel that you are against them.
If you alienate people, that is a quick way of losing them
friends and losing any chance of influencing them ever
again. The best way to handle this is by first explaining
that you understand their point of view, that you respect it
but you respectfully disagree, and then state your reasons.
7. By Not Insulting
When you are trying to win someone over, as the points above
have mentioned, complimenting people and encouraging them
will often win them over. At the same time, not using vulgar
language and insulting them will also please them.
Good communication skills means speaking and/or writing in a
concise and eloquent manner, and not resorting to profanity
and insults to try and make a point.
8. By Correcting In The Correct Way
In any element of life there are times when you have to
correct someone, whether it is a child, a spouse, an employee
or someone else. If you yell and scream at such people,
humiliating them in front of others, and offer nothing
constructive, you will lose them.
Part of good communication skills is correcting people in
the right way. You point out their positive features,
mention where they are falling short and then give them
guidance as to how to correct their failing.
9. Because They Can Win People Over
When used correctly, good communication skills convince
people to support you, either as a friend or in some other
This is a talent once seen in door to door salesmen; they
could talk anyone into buying just about anything. This is
also something that politicians and religious leaders are
famous for doing.
If you can use your words, whether spoken or
written down, and convince people of your view, you can
build friendships and influence people to do just about
10. Because They Succeed
If you look at people who are influential, either locally or
on the national stage, they are also very successful people:
politicians, business people, performers, and so on. They
use their good communication skills for a multitude of
When people see that a person has the ability to win people
over, it impresses they, and they tend to want to follow
that person and/or get to know them. It could be as simple
as putting on a good performance in a show, telling some
great stories, writing an interesting book or article or
succeeding in business.
There are plenty of books on the subject of making friends
and influencing people. Yet, a lot of it comes down to you:
how you present yourself, and your words and ideas. By
mastering a number of easy steps, you can improve your
ability to communicate with people and thus build
friendships and networks of people you associate with.