Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach
when you have to approach someone?
In situations like this does your mind go blank?
This is not unusual. That feeling is often the fear of
When you feel afraid your emotions take over, you feel
tense and your ability to think logically vanishes into
And that is why you can talk to close friends without a
care in the world but never know what to say when you meet
new people. i.e. emotions cloud your thinking.
What is the answer to this challenge?
You need to take charge of the fear of rejection:
1. Imagine the worst case scenario.
Run it through in your mind. How will you handle rejection
if it does happen?
Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when
you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever
does happen is usually not so bad after all.
Once you accept this you will feel more relaxed and better
able to deal with what does happen.
2. Decide what rejection means
When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come
up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as:
– People dislike me
– I am a failure
– I am not worthy of their approval
– I am not good with people
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for
you. And the strange thing is that only you can choose what
rejection means for you.
Meaning is a choice so why not choose more empowering
meanings? Such as:
– I need to change my approach
– I can get better by learning a better way
– He is having a bad day and is too busy to talk
Decide what rejection really means before it happens and
you will feel a lot better about yourself if it does happen.
Like I always say…
Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to
speak, that is only the tip of the iceberg, ninety per cent
of the solution depends on you taking charge of your
emotional and mental states.
When you do this you will be able to talk to anyone you
meet with the same ease you talk to close friends.
One final point…
Are these techniques designed to be used once? No!
These strategies will in time become part of who you are
and how you live. Like any skill the more you use them the
better you will get.
Aim to improve slightly each and everyday and you will make
huge progress in the coming weeks and months. As long as
you make it a daily habit.
Doing a little now and again and expecting rapid progress
is like exercising once a month and expecting to be slim
Aim for steady, gradual improvement and you will grow even
faster than you expect!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence.
Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: