Are you a “people person?” If not, you should be, and now’s the time to learn some people skills to help you endear yourself to others by listening carefully, watching body language and then conveying your own thoughts in a thoughtful and respectful manner.You have a right to expect that certain feelings (such as love) should be evident in human behavior. Sadly, that’s not always the case, as some people (maybe you?) have difficulty in expressing their true feelings to another. If you’ve determined that your relationship with another person is worth developing because of otherwise good rapport, it is time to learn some people skills. It’s never too soon to begin learning people skills to attract and keep people in your life. Learn to quit arguing and begin communicating instead; you’ll find that good people skills can make a difference in your personal, social and work environment. Armed with good people skills, you can learn to negotiate on some issues and compromise on others to the satisfaction of everyone concerned.
Sometimes what goes unsaid can relay as much of an impact of what is said. When you stay silent on issues that really matter to you (such as a spouse who does nothing to help around the house even though you both work) you may think you’re being a good partner, but the downside of keeping silent is that depression, anger and disillusionment may set in to further complicate matters. Research has shown that men are sometimes more reluctant than women to keep their feelings and thoughts bottled up inside.
For some men, keeping silent is a form of control over another person. By not saying anything at all the other person must guess at what the partner is thinking. For other men, silence is not a strategy but a shortcoming because they do not have good people skills. Historically, women were brought up to protect, nurture and put other’s needs before their own. Thus, they protect their mate from their negative feelings by remaining silent. Even when silence is theoretically used in a good way (i.e., to protect another), depression may be a likely result.
You must have good people skills to encourage trust and respect for and from others. A lack of trust can come from your own insecure feelings or from bad behavior by another person. Your expectations of others may be out of sync with reality. Bad vibes from a previous relationship may dampen trust in another person. Regardless of the reasons for mistrust, your words and actions will be affected in a negative manner until you learn the necessary people skills that foster good relationships.
Developing your people skills may require a lot of work and dedication, depending on the extent of help you need. One of the most important parts of being a “people person” is to be a positive thinker who is optimistic, motivated and projects a positive image and attitude. You should work every day to send out positive and creative signals to others by your words, actions and body language. The way you act can have either a negative or positive impact on others as well as yourself.
If you want to succeed in both your personal and professional life, or further develop your people skills, it is crucial to change from a pattern of destructive, negative thoughts to positive, creative thinking.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
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