Monthly Archives: December 2004

Pay Attention! You May Learn Some New People Skills

Are you a “people person?” If not, you should be, and now’s the time to learn some people skills to help you endear yourself to others by listening carefully, watching body language and then conveying your own thoughts in a thoughtful and respectful manner.You have a right to expect that certain feelings (such as love) should be evident in human behavior. Sadly, that’s not always the case, as some people (maybe you?) have difficulty in expressing their true feelings to another. If you’ve determined that your relationship with another person is worth developing because of otherwise good rapport, it is time to learn some people skills. It’s never too soon to begin learning people skills to attract and keep people in your life. Learn to quit arguing and begin communicating instead; you’ll find that good people skills can make a difference in your personal, social and work environment. Armed with good people skills, you can learn to negotiate on some issues and compromise on others to the satisfaction of everyone concerned.

Sometimes what goes unsaid can relay as much of an impact of what is said. When you stay silent on issues that really matter to you (such as a spouse who does nothing to help around the house even though you both work) you may think you’re being a good partner, but the downside of keeping silent is that depression, anger and disillusionment may set in to further complicate matters. Research has shown that men are sometimes more reluctant than women to keep their feelings and thoughts bottled up inside.

For some men, keeping silent is a form of control over another person. By not saying anything at all the other person must guess at what the partner is thinking. For other men, silence is not a strategy but a shortcoming because they do not have good people skills. Historically, women were brought up to protect, nurture and put other’s needs before their own. Thus, they protect their mate from their negative feelings by remaining silent. Even when silence is theoretically used in a good way (i.e., to protect another), depression may be a likely result.

You must have good people skills to encourage trust and respect for and from others. A lack of trust can come from your own insecure feelings or from bad behavior by another person. Your expectations of others may be out of sync with reality. Bad vibes from a previous relationship may dampen trust in another person. Regardless of the reasons for mistrust, your words and actions will be affected in a negative manner until you learn the necessary people skills that foster good relationships.

Developing your people skills may require a lot of work and dedication, depending on the extent of help you need. One of the most important parts of being a “people person” is to be a positive thinker who is optimistic, motivated and projects a positive image and attitude. You should work every day to send out positive and creative signals to others by your words, actions and body language. The way you act can have either a negative or positive impact on others as well as yourself.

If you want to succeed in both your personal and professional life, or further develop your people skills, it is crucial to change from a pattern of destructive, negative thoughts to positive, creative thinking.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Listen Up and Learn How To Communicate

If you do not know how to communicate, you’re not alone. A large percentage of the world’s population does not know how to communicate effectively to attract friends and interest other people. Sometimes this is not due to a lack of desire to learn how to communicate, but may be because of other influences such as genuine physical or emotional problems.The absence of keen hearing can greatly decrease one’s ability to communicate. The process of learning to speak begins when we are only a few months old, and if a child cannot hear, he or she cannot mimic the sounds it hears; thus, the child cannot learn how to communicate.

The brain is a powerful factor in learning how to communicate. The brain hears sounds that travel through the ear which are then transformed into information that becomes words. When a disorder in the hearing process is present, no sound travels through the ear and the brain cannot interpret information it does not receive. Words may be heard but they are not processed in a normal manner. If you or a loved one are affected by a hearing disorder, you should seek a professional evaluation and help.

Another reason for failure to learn how to communicate is speech impairment, which can result in no or ineffective communication skills. Stuttering is perhaps the most serious impairment, followed by difficulty in articulation, which results in sounds that are incorrect or inappropriate. There is a difference between difficulty in articulation (dysarthria) and a problem in producing language (aphasia).

Voice disorders such as quality, loudness and pitch can occur that will cause communication problems. A voice is produced when air from the lungs pushes past the vocal cords, causing them to vibrate and produce sound. The voice box (larynx) must have vibrations from the vocal cords; without it there is no speech. There are millions of people in the United States alone who have voice problems involving quality, loudness and pitch. Further, people who previously were excellent communicators lost this ability when damage occurred to their vocal equipment.

When normal speech patterns are absent, learning how to communicate via voice is difficult if not impossible, and an alternative method of communication such as sign language or writing must be used.

The development of proper speech is an ongoing process that can go on for years or a lifetime. Coordinated muscles in the neck, chest, head, and abdominal area produce speech. Many children are diagnosed with speech disorders (origins unknown) by the time they are in the first grade. There are many reasons for speech disabilities that can be traced to mental retardation or emotional, developmental, and psychiatric conditions.

As mentioned earlier, stuttering is a debilitating condition for many; there are an estimated more than 15 million stutterers in the world, which sometimes causes the person to become agitated, embarrassed or ridiculed. Persons with speech disorders can be helped in learning how to communicate; they should seek professional help.

Learning how to communicate depends largely upon the use of language. The proper use of language can convey many different moods and expressions such as explaining feelings, sharing knowledge, and expressing sadness, anger, happiness, grumpiness, elation and enthusiasm. There are many people who do not know how to communicate because of language impediments. A language disorder occurs when language usage is not developed. Physical disabilities such as brain tumors, strokes, head injuries or dementia can cause impairment of language usage. Childhood can be the beginning of language disabilities because of hearing problems, autism, etc.

Whatever the reasons for the inability to learn how to communicate, help is available on-line, with self-help books and through the use of a professional counselor, speech therapist or other specialist. If you are one of the millions who do not know how to communicate with others, you are urged to seek help.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Pay Attention To These Communications Skills Tips

Are you a bore who has no or bad communication skills? Are you the silent type or is your nickname “Buttinsky?” If the shoe fits – wear it. Either way, you are lacking a vital element of your personality development. These communications skills tips are meant to show you some reasons why you have no communications skills and lead you to seek help on your own.Interpersonal relationships are tricky and complicated, and there is sometimes a power play by one party or the other. This power is achieved by one’s ability to speak clearly and get the message across to the other person. Dominance over the other person is often not the issue, and you must recognize that there is a difference between being aggressive and being assertive. Communication skills tips will help you determine whether you are aggressive or assertive.

1. If you are a verbal bully who picks on anybody you come in contact with, you’re relaying a message that you are aggressive, otherwise known as a control freak. Aggressiveness is good in some instances (as in defending yourself against physical abuse), but aggressive verbal bullies are generally people who have no self-esteem who try to bolster their ego by threatening others with their manner of speech and body language. The verbal bully generally finds a good target in a shy, retiring person who is non-assertive and lacks communications skills as well.

2. On the other hand, assertiveness is a desirable characteristic, but it has to be done in the right way. Assertiveness is the art of projecting yourself as someone who is persistently positive and confident. If you allow yourself to be bullied around, you are vulnerable and do not have the ability to defend yourself. If you are too unsure of yourself to speak up and defend yourself or stand up for what is right, you need help from the many self-help books giving communication skills tips or a professional counselor who will educate you in the basic skill of self-assertion. This may involve changing some of your personal traits such as being too passive, sensitive, and insecure.

3. One of the first steps in learning communication skills is to study and practice communications skills tips that are readily available on-line and in book stores. You must have self-confidence and raise your level of self-esteem to its highest level if you want to be effective in the way you communicate with others. Once you gain self-confidence, you will automatically begin to communicate better. Small successes may lead to bigger and better successes in every aspect of your life, thereby increasing your self-confidence.

You should gain communications skills not only to get your point across, but also to learn how to develop a support group via the friendships you will form by using communication skills tips. A friend can help you through difficult social situations, personal relationships, in your job or studies, and can give you friendly advice and encouragement in the areas of your appearance, on moral and ethical issues and even give you tips on how to improve yourself so that your body language communicates your self-confidence to others.

Some very basic communication skills tips that will help you now are:

1. Offer positive input, support and suggestions to co-workers and friends.

2. Ask friendly questions to get a conversation started, but don’t pry.

3. Offer support and enthusiasm to others by making positive statements.

4. Realize that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you may fail in your efforts to communicate with others – don’t take it personally. Study communication skills tips to help you get on the right track. The more ways to communicate you can think of, the more successful you will be.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com