Archive for December, 2004

Pull Yourself Together and Learn How To Be Confident

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

It may come as a big surprise to you to know that everything is not all about you. You may be the center of your own little universe, but you are not the center of everyone else’s. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and the world doesn’t owe you a thing.It does no good to sulk when you do not get the admiration or the attention you crave. It does even less good to think negative thoughts about yourself and admonish yourself for “saying the wrong thing” to someone or feel that you’ve messed up again in your relationship with others. This type of thinking only further reinforces the fact that you have little or no self-confidence.

The harsh truth is - get over it. You are someone special. You are smart. You are interesting and appealing to others. You have a message for the world, and you need to learn to get the message out. A few suggestions here can help you project the image you want to world to see.

1. It’s not always about you. Maybe the person you think slighted you has had a bad day, or heaven forbid, maybe the person just isn’t nice. You can turn the situation around by asking some general, interesting questions about the person. This may bring the person out of the bad mood and who knows, you might put a little sunshine into someone else’s life for a change.

2. Quit taking everything so personally. Accept the fact that some people just aren’t socially adept, and they may have even less self-confidence than you do. Don’t let someone else spoil your day. Don’t respond to negative feelings and above all, don’t let yourself be provoked. Think positive to keep your emotions in check. Negative thoughts sap your energy and serve no purpose.

3. Do you think you’re the only one out there who gets rejected? Think again! There are selfish people who only think “me, me, me” to the exclusion of everyone else. Even the most successful people are rejected (singer/songwriter Rod Stewart was rejected several times because his voice was “too gravelly and coarse.” He didn’t give up and today is rich and famous.)

4. Don’t give up. The old saying, “if at first you don’t succeed, try again” holds true for the person with no self-confidence. If things don’t go your way, come up with an alternate plan. If that’s not accepted (remember, it not about you; it’s about an idea) keep trying.

5. Stop focusing on yourself and dwelling on your perceived shortcomings all the time. Focus instead on your goals and what you have to do to achieve them. Stop talking about yourself all the time. Other people get tired of hearing about you constantly. Concentrate on a genuine conversation about other people and other topics.

With a little self-help, you can overcome your feelings of inadequacy and learn how to be confident. While you are honing your skills at becoming confident, the image you want to project is one of a person who is in command of self and someone worth knowing and sharing ideas and conversations with.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Conversation Skills - Listening Is As Important As Speaking

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

Are you searching for ways to improve your conversation skills? While engaging in conversations with friends and co-workers, how often do you feel that the other person has truly heard what you’ve said? If you want to succeed in social settings, relationships, and business, one way to ensure your success is to be a great listener. The ability to speak is not nearly as difficult to learn as the ability to listen. There are a few simple rules you can follow to help you become a better listener, therefore enhancing your conversation skills.1. Stop talking. It sounds very simplistic but if you are constantly talking, how can others express themselves? Make an effort to shift the focus of the conversation to the other person. Be aware of your own body language. Match the other person’s body language by leaning forward when they lean forward, etc. Attention to small details will give the person you are speaking with a feeling that you truly hear what they are saying and that you are genuinely interested in their opinions. If you sit with your arms crossed, constantly check your watch, or stare out the window, the person with whom you are speaking will feel that you are distant and disinterested.

2. Pay attention to the tone of your voice. Even if you are only giving brief answers or asking short questions, the tone of your voice plays a major part in communicating effectively. If your tone suggests a condescending attitude, boredom, or anger, you will lose your audience and people will no longer want to spend time speaking with you or listening to what you have to say. A respectful, preferably friendly tone will allow you to communicate efficiently and earn you the respect of others.

3. In order to move the conversation forward, ask questions to clarify or invite additional information. Questions indicate that you are fully attentive to what is being said and that you have a real interest in the speaker’s views. Give your full attention to the speaker. When you show others that you want to hear them, they will automatically grant you the same courtesy. Maintain eye contact and always face the speaker. You will be able to express your own views much more effectively if you have the full attention of your audience. If you give your full attention, you will certainly receive the same in return.

4. Engage in light, pleasant conversation as often as you engage in meaningful, direct conversation. If you always guide the conversation in the direction of achieving your goal, you will leave the impression of distance and a superior attitude. You will get a much more favorable response if you relate to others on a personal level as well as in a professional or authoritative manner. People want to feel appreciated and unique. Make a point to address each person you encounter and do so in a positive, friendly manner. Conversation skills include treating others as you would like to be treated.

Good conversation skills include much more than simply speaking with others. Listening, good body language, questioning, pleasantries, and mutual respect are important elements in any conversation and are also personality traits exhibited by successful people. You can improve your image and your ability to communicate if you follow these simple guidelines when communicating with others.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

The Art of Conversation - Tips for Success

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

The art of conversation is a skill shared by most successful people. People who always seem to rise to the top of their professions and are well respected by others who share the ability to converse with anybody in every situation. People who seem to speak effortlessly and efficiently with others are generally well liked and highly successful. If you need to improve your conversational skills, here are a few tips that can help you enhance your conversational skills and boost your image. Good conversation promotes an image of self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness.1. Always say what you think, not what you think others want you to say. Especially in a professional setting, learning to express your views and ideas in a positive, non-threatening manner will invite reactions and responses. Effective leaders always say what they are thinking and express their ideas freely. Having the courage to speak your mind as well as listening openly to the views and ideas of others is a sure way to earn the respect and admiration of all those you encounter.

2. Listen carefully to what others are saying. People often interpret things said by others in a way that clouds their ability to hear what people are intending to say. By giving your full attention to the speaker, you can hear what they intend for you to hear instead of what you want to hear. The art of conversation includes the ability to listen to others as well as the ability to speak effectively.

3. Always assume that a speaker is saying exactly what they mean to say. Even if it seems unclear, try to find meaning and coherence to the words they are saying and give them the respect of hearing what they want you to hear. In any conversation, the ability to give respect is just as important as receiving it. The art of conversation is a give and take between parties, not one speaker and one listener.

4. Any conversation can be broken down into three parts. The first part is small talk. Small talk is dictated by social rules and includes polite greetings, inquiries about the well-being of others, etc. Stage two is the end of the small talk and moving on to the purpose of the conversation such as business, the sharing of opinions and personal views. Without the ability to express yourself efficiently, the conversation can easily slip back into small talk, lessening the chances of accomplishing the initial goal of the conversation. The third part of a conversation is where the various ideas and views expressed can be merged into a satisfying end for all parties involved in the conversation.

The art of conversation is a learned skill that is common among successful, energetic people. If you are unable to effectively express yourself in any situation, you will likely find that you do not attract the attention and command the respect that is bestowed upon some others. People who talk freely and easily with others usually find more professional and personal fulfillment than those who are introverted and silent. If you want to improve your professional and social standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a positive manner. You will notice a dramatic difference in the way other people perceive you if you demonstrate self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com