by Peter Murphy
Improving your People Skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate people skills.
Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
people skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.
Step #1 Cut the nervousness out!
Remember people are not out to murder or attack you, they
are just here to socialize both personally and in business.
If that doesn’t help remember that if you are nervous then
the other person probably is too.
If you still feel butterflies in your stomach after trying
to calm done just try and act calm. Sometimes just acting
as if you are calm is enough to trick your mind into
feeling like you are calm. The mind is easily fooled so act
calm and your butterflies should follow.
Step #2 Improve the body language in your people skills.
Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.
If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine. Try and keep your legs down and if you are
standing don’t sway. Swaying implies again that you are
bored or that you are in a hurry.
Step #3 Improve the conversation part of your people skills.
Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though. Watch the conversation and don’t let those
uncomfortable pauses scare you.
Remember if you are nervous there is a good chance that the
other person is nervous as well, so just take it easy. Try
small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.
When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to a
more important topic.
Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.
Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
Step #4 Ending the Conversation.
Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.
Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over, labels
you as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s
movements and actions. We as humans have very subtle but
dependable signs of letting each know when we are through.
If the other person tends to refer to their “to do” list
for the day or are constantly shifting their body weight or
displaying other physical signs of boredom, let them go.
Improving your people skills can be hard and may take
longer than anticipated based on your anxiety level and the
previous exposure you’ve had to the social world. Don’t
worry though, keep trying, good people skills are the
foundation for success!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at: