Monthly Archives: February 2005

How To Improve People Skills – 4 Great Ways

by Peter Murphy

Improving your People Skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate people skills.

Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
people skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.

Step #1 Cut the nervousness out!

Remember people are not out to murder or attack you, they
are just here to socialize both personally and in business.
If that doesn’t help remember that if you are nervous then
the other person probably is too.

If you still feel butterflies in your stomach after trying
to calm done just try and act calm. Sometimes just acting
as if you are calm is enough to trick your mind into
feeling like you are calm. The mind is easily fooled so act
calm and your butterflies should follow.

Step #2 Improve the body language in your people skills.

Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.

If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine. Try and keep your legs down and if you are
standing don’t sway. Swaying implies again that you are
bored or that you are in a hurry.

Step #3 Improve the conversation part of your people skills.

Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though. Watch the conversation and don’t let those
uncomfortable pauses scare you.

Remember if you are nervous there is a good chance that the
other person is nervous as well, so just take it easy. Try
small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.

When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to a
more important topic.

Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.

Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
social skills.

Step #4 Ending the Conversation.

Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.

Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over, labels
you as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s
movements and actions. We as humans have very subtle but
dependable signs of letting each know when we are through.

If the other person tends to refer to their “to do” list
for the day or are constantly shifting their body weight or
displaying other physical signs of boredom, let them go.

Improving your people skills can be hard and may take
longer than anticipated based on your anxiety level and the
previous exposure you’ve had to the social world. Don’t
worry though, keep trying, good people skills are the
foundation for success!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

3 Ways to Start a Great Conversation

by Peter Murphy

Many people worry about how to start a conversation. While
other people instinctively know how to start a conversation
and it comes almost naturally.

Are you comfortable that you know how to start a
conversation? Do you become tongue tied not sure what to
say? If you are not then there are many valuable resources
available to help you learn the art of conversation.

Here are three simple ways that you can learn how to start
a conversation and keep it going.

1. Be confident in yourself.

Consider that the other person has an interest in what it
is you have to say. Sometimes people have trouble with
conversation because of a lack of confidence in themselves.

The irony is that even if you are only pretending to be
confident other people will assume that you are confident.
They will then be more responsive to what you say and it
becomes easier to engage them in conversation.

2. Think of a compliment.

A great way to start a conversation is by complimenting
someone to. For example, you might say, “By the way Susan
that was an excellent presentation you gave today.”

Tell someone you like his new car, his shoes, his hair or
the way he talks and you will have set the scene for a
friendly chat.

It is very hard for anyone to resist positive feedback. We
all love to hear sincere compliments and we then feel
compelled to treat the giver of the compliment favorably.

3. Ask the other person questions about themselves.

There’s no better way to start a conversation than ask
someone a question about themselves.

Most people love to talk about themselves. If you ask
someone a question about themselves you will most likely
not have to do any other talking throughout the rest of the
conversation.

And most likely that personal will leave the conversation
thinking very highly of you because you cared so much about
them and their interests.

They will certainly consider that you are a great
conversationalist even though you may have said very little.

These three simple tips are all you need to learn how to
start a conversation and keep it going. Not only are the
above tips helpful in learning how to start a conversation
but they will also work in keeping a conversation flowing.

For example, if the conversation seems to come to an end
prematurely ask another question or make another compliment.

You can change your life and now is the time to start.

Exceptional conversation skills can be learned…

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress.

Although some people fear otherwise, conversation skills
can be learned by anyone of at least average intelligence.
The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now.

What matters is learning a proven approach you can use for
the rest of your life.

I did it.

It only took me 14 years to figure out a step by
step formula. Are there any short cuts to learning
exceptional conversation skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start
applying the lessons, one at a time. Take a little
each day and you will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to
put the strategies into action in your daily life.
Do that and your success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence. Click here now to test
this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple – make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.

4 Magical Conversation Tips

by Peter Murphy

The ability to converse easily and effectively can
frequently be a challenge and people often require a few
conversation tips to help them get started.

With the application of a few conversation tips you will be
surprised at how easily you can talk to people in
situations you may have previously just run away from.

Listed below are a few conversation tips to help you get
started conversing easily and confidently.

After reading these conversation tips you will see that a
conversation is more than an exchange of words between
people, it is an art that the truly successful people have
mastered.

1 Give your undivided attention to the person you are
talking to. If the person you are talking to feels as
though you are not listening or too busy looking elsewhere,
they will assume you are not interested and end the
conversation there.

Be sure to ask questions to get the other person talking
about their opinions and give feedback to the answers.
However, be sure not to ask question after question.

You don’t want to engulf the person in so many questions
that they do not get the opportunity to learn how you feel
about the topic of discussion.

2 Your body language says more than the words you are
speaking. Fidgeting or playing with a loose article may
show disinterest. The last thing you want to happen is for
the person you are talking to get the wrong impression of
you.

Crossing one’s arms often gives the appearance of being
closed off to what the other person is saying. Making eye
contact will aid in showing the person talking that you are
paying attention.

Now, this does not mean that you have to stare a person
down, but you do want to look at the person to show them
you are interested and listening. Paying attention to this
unspoken form of communication will help keep you from
sending the wrong message.

3 No matter what gets brought up during the conversation,
don’t start an argument. Part of a good conversation
involves the ability to listen and be listened to. It is
quite natural for people to have a difference of opinions.

When someone expresses a view or statement that bothers
you, give them their opportunity to talk. When it is your
turn to talk be sure to express that you understand each
person has their right to their opinion and don’t tell them
they are wrong.

This will most likely start an argument, and the person you
are arguing with may now see you as being disagreeable or
even obnoxious.

4 End the conversation on an upbeat, happy note. You want
the last thing this person remembers about you to be
positive.

It would be awful to have a person leave after a
conversation thinking negatively about you. You also want
to end the conversation before you run out of things to say.

Nothing is more uncomfortable than the point of a
conversation when there is no more conversation. The
awkward silence between you will leave a lasting impression
and will not end the conversation optimistically.

If you begin following these conversation tips on a regular
basis you will find yourself having more effective
conversations that aren’t as awkward and difficult as they
once were.

Being able to effectively communicate with others is an art
that, when mastered, will lead you to success in future
professional and personal endeavors.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm