Monthly Archives: May 2005

You Have Permission To Be Yourself

by Peter Murphy

Because I offer email coaching to my customers I notice
certain themes that pop up again and again in the emails I
receive.

It is not unusual for me to hear from someone who is
clearly not only intelligent and well educated but also a
genuinely nice person.

Why then does a person like this sometimes have difficulty
speaking up and making good conversation? Why does someone
who has abundant talent and ability fail when it comes to
making a great impression with others?

I believe the answer is simply this — thoughtful people
hesitate much too much and wait for permission to be
themselves.

However….

You don´t need to live like this any longer unless you
really want to!

I suggest that starting today you decide to allow yourself
to be as you are and let other people get used to that fact.

Be polite and as sociable as you like but do not wait for
permission or approval before expressing your opinions.
Simply find a suitable moment in the conversation and dive
in.

If others do not agree with you then so be it. You are
still entitled to not only have an opinion but to express
it in your own way.

The more you get used to not caring if people like what you
say or agree with you the more freedom you will feel. And
the more freedom you express the more others will tend to
accept both you and your input.

You see, when you apologetically offer an opinion your
non-verbal communication sets you up for criticism. Your
lack of confidence gives the game away.

The secret is to speak up with certainty. Say what you want
with conviction – never ask for or wait for permission to
be yourself and to express yourself. And if you can also
express yourself without needing approval your confidence
will soar.

When you remain emotionally detached from the outcome of
the conversation, making conversation gets very, very easy.
Why? Because all your self-imposed performance anxiety
disappears and you find yourself enjoying the moment.

This is why I like to remind people to drop Conversation
Fear — those anxieties and concerns form the road block on
your journey to better relationships, a better social life
and greater happiness. Once those road blocks are removed
it´s full speed ahead.

Imagine, not having any fear when you want to speak up! How
great would that feel? Why not start today?

Now…

Review both the Conversation Fear report AND the How to
Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report which come as
special bonuses with my system.

When you use those powerful strategies you will be well
prepared to join the ranks of the appreciated and highly
respected.

Test it yourself by reserving your 365 day trial – click
here now:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

All the very best,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

How To Speak Up When You Don´t Know What To Say

by Peter Murphy

We all get tongue tied at times when we really don´t know
what to say next. Maybe you get stuck when talking to
authority figures such as your boss or bank manager. For
someone else certain situations might bring on that
self-conscious tongue-tied moment.

What can you do to avoid getting stuck for words?

1. Trust yourself more

Forget about being perfect and don´t demand that you say
the right thing at the right moment all of the time. It
really is okay to make little mistakes and to learn from
them.

Do forget about perfection because it does not exist in the
known world. Doing what you can with what you´ve got in any
moment is all anyone can reasonably demand of you.

And usually, the more you trust yourself and get on with
it, the more often you will be surprised at how well you
will do. If you pay attention every experience will be an
opportunity for you to get better, much better.

2. Learn like a child

When you were a child you were a highly advanced learning
machine! You learned new skills and understandings at a
phenomenal pace. You were unstoppable in your quest for new
experiences and new learnings.

As adults we need to remember to tap into this fascination
for life. Kids learn by observing AND doing. Adults often
forget the doing part!

In terms of making great conversation, allow yourself to
learn by doing. Make mistakes, learn what does not work and
improve one conversation after another. You will move ahead
much, much faster when you live in this way.

3. Apply the knowledge you already have

It is very likely you already know how to start a
conversation, how to keep a conversation alive and how to
engage the interest of another person.

However, knowing what to do and using what you know are two
very different things. Here is a useful guideline you might
like to keep in mind — you only know what you can do.

Unless you are getting good results with a technique or
approach that you understand – you really have not learned
and integrated it into your life.

The best way to take on board and use what you think you
already know is to spend a little time each day reviewing
solid material on communication skills. Review it and then
use it during your day when you deal with people.

Before you know it those tongue-tied moments will be a
distant memory of how you used to be.

Now, what else can you do right now?

Get out your copy of my book and join the thousands of
people around the world who are using it to live happier
lives based on excellent people skills.

Click here now to get your copy:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

All the very best,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

The Magical Secret To Great Conversation

There is a secret to making great conversation that you are
unlikely to discover in any book or at even the very best
of seminars.

And the awareness of this very special secret is the
difference between good and great when it comes to making
conversation.

Let me the tell you the secret…

Enter into conversations with the intention to give without
wanting, expecting or demanding anything in return.

Now, the significance, power and subtle of this principle
goes right over the head of most people who hear it. Let me
explain.

When you talk to another person and come from a place of
giving and sharing you will feel empowered as long as you
neither want approval from the other person nor want to
control the other person with your communication.

Your worries about saying the wrong thing and fears about
looking stupid or feeling rejected will all dissipate. When
your focus is on giving and not on the getting you are the
source — not the other person. Consequently approval and
control cannot be taken from you.

Instead you will feel relaxed, confident and at ease. You
will feel good about expressing your personality and more
of your hidden charisma will shine.

And there is another wonderful benefit to applying these
principles. The person you are talking to will no longer
have resistance to what you are saying.

He or she will feel compelled to respond to your giving by
giving to you in return. This can take the form of really
listening to you, helping you and responding to your ideas
and input.

Why does this happen?

Because we all feel compelled to give to whoever gives to
us. This is known as the principle of reciprocity. It is a
powerful principle you can use every time you talk to other
people. And it all begins with an attitude of giving.

You can give in many ways when you are talking to someone…

– offer all of your attention
– give an open mind
– present an open heart
– listen to what is really said
– talk with sincerity and caring

Now, when you consider these points it is easy to fool
yourself because although we know to do these things we do
not often do so.

Distinguish between what you know and what you actually do
and start using these principles today. When you act on the
secret to great conversation it will make a big difference
to your relationships, success and happiness. Why not start
right now?

Have a great week,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently revealed the
secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and
impact. The same techniques you can use to overcome shyness, develop
great conversation skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.