Monthly Archives: May 2005

The Real Secret To Making And Keeping Friends

by Peter Murphy

Only a few people really understand the best way to make
new friends. And even fewer ever grasp the secret to
keeping a good friendship alive over the years.

When it comes to making friends, the key is to decide to
like the other person before the other person starts to
like you. When you do this you naturally warm to the other
person, he or she then senses this and responds accordingly.

Deciding to like the other person regardless of their
acceptance of you has an interesting side benefit. You are
no longer concerned about rejection. If you are not looking
for approval you will feel more confident.

Imagine how well you will relate to others with this new
found inner confidence. You will radiate warmth and
approval. And others will want to get to know you better.

The same applies to long-standing friendships. We sometimes
take them for granted and our relationships can suffer. You
can quickly revive a friendship by choosing to like or love
that friend just as he or she is.

Truly accept your friend and it will come across in what
you say and, more importantly, in how you say it. That
sparkle in your eyes says more about how much you like your
friend than any words can convey.

Of course choosing to like someone means you can still
assert yourself and make sure the other person treats you
well. In fact they are more likely to do so when they sense
they are liked.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

5 Simple Shyness Tips

If you are one of the many individuals affected by shyness,
you will find the following shyness tips useful for your
daily social life.

These tips are meant to help you overcome those situations
when you feel your hands and feet tied by the lack of
security to act or say something. Use these shyness tips as
the basis for improving your social skills.

Social and emotional shyness affects many more people than
you imagine and most of them surely need a few of our
shyness tips to help them get by in this over-competitive
society.

Because we know the importance of being able to overcome
shyness in several aspects of our life, we compiled a list
of shyness tips based on advice by specialists and common
people alike.

Read on. You will find the following tips useful:

1. Tell people about your shyness. Many people who “suffer”
from shyness tend to avoid eye contact and more than often
seem arrogant by doing so.

By telling people you are shy, you are giving them the true
reason why you seem so evasive and distant and that will
improve your social interaction with certain people.

2. Take adult community education classes. Why? Because the
odds are that in those classes you will find that more than
a half of the students suffer form the same distress as you.

In addition, the adult community classes will get you going
on social interaction with your peers and will be a great
pretext to get you out of your house and start practicing
interaction.

The fact that your class mates are also shy people will
help you understand that you are not alone on this one.

3. Reward yourself. Every time you succeed on overcoming
your shyness, treat yourself with something you love. Go
out and eat a huge ice-cream, if that is your taste.

Remember to, literally, reward yourself every time you move
a step closer to overcome shyness. This will motivate you
to keep working your social and emotional skills.

4. Visualize being at ease in a social event. Visualization
can be a powerful tool when used with persistence. When you
are at your home, where you feel secure and confident, try
to visualize social situations where you would usually feel
shy.

Than imagine yourself enjoying that situation and being at
ease in that context. Practice this visualization often and
keep your focus on visualizing yourself more confident and
enjoying social interaction.

5. Elaborate a mental list of interesting conversation
topics. Before you leave home, make sure you have a
well-defined list of topics that you know other people will
find interesting. That way you will find yourself more
confident and at ease in a conversation.

Remember to keep your efforts steady if you really want to
overcome shyness. The above shyness tips won’t help you if
you don’t make a real effort to help yourself.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm