Monthly Archives: June 2005

Great People Skills. What Makes the Difference?

On a warm spring afternoon, fifteen years ago, two young
men graduated from the same college. They were similar in
many ways…

Like all diligent, hard working students they had also
enjoyed time off to play sport and to have fun with their
friends. And they were both very excited about the bright
future that lay ahead.

Fifteen years later they met.

They were still alike in many ways. Both had a good family
life, a comfortable home and they both had a little gray
hair! But there was a difference.

One of the men is now a victim of his own success – he is
running as fast as he can and still he cannot keep up with
the mountain of work that lands on his desk each day.

All day long his staff and his superiors make demands of
him he cannot say no to and at home he is at the mercy of
the whims of his family. He feels taken for granted and
unappreciated.

On the other hand. The second man is in charge of his own
business and works as many or as few hours as he pleases
each day. People look up to him, respect him and enjoy
spending time with him. At home, his opinions are valued
and his needs respected.

What made the difference?

Have you ever wondered how two seemingly successful people
can be so different in how they get to the top and in how
they stay at the top?

One person struggles day after day and claws his way to the
top of success mountain – while another strolls along in
his own good time enjoying the view as he goes.

The difference lies in how you relate to people. There is
an easy way and a hard way. The hard way means people take
you for granted, they do not really listen to you and all
too often they treat you as no more than a resource they
can use to get what they want.

On the other hand, the easy way means you feel respected
and deeply appreciated. When you talk people listen and
when you approach people they respond positively to your
requests.

Which do you prefer – the easy way or the hard way?

Knowledge is Power. Right now I enjoy harmonious
relationships with the people in my life because I decided
to leave the hard way in the past and to build a bright new
future based on the easy way.

Once I found an approach that worked all I did was follow
the step-by-step instructions and my world changed as
quickly as I changed. And this can happen for you even
faster than you think…

When you become a master of conversation you will wonder
why you waited so long to get your hands on the knowledge
that was waiting for you all along.

— Three Essential Elements —

The easy way to superior people skills is made up of three
key elements and verbal communication skills make up only
one of those essential elements. And no I am not talking
about body language. I take it you already know how to
mirror and match posture.

With the system that has worked so well for me and for
scores of people around the world – you will discover these
three elements and how to quickly and easily master people
skills for the rest of your life.

If you have struggled before it is because you only paid
attention to communication skills. That is fine if you are
aiming for average. Now is the time to become exceptional.

Why not develop exceptional people skills? If you can
follow simple step-by-step instructions you can move ahead
very quickly.

Think about it for a moment…

Why do you want to get along better with other people? What
are the most important reasons why you want to improve this
aspect of your life? What have you missed out on by
neglecting this crucial skill?

The time to change is now – until you do another day,
another week and another month will slip by and you will be
no further forward in your life. If you are waiting for the
perfect time you will wait forever.

It is time to try a new and better way…

— Test Drive the System —

I can guarantee that if you are of at least average
intelligence you can quickly transform your ability to deal
with other people. Knowing what to say, starting and
keeping the conversation going and making a great
impression will never again be a mystery to you.

You can finally put worrying about what people think of you
in the past.

Start today by taking a 365 day trial of my system. Click
here now:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

After you book your 365 day trial of my system you will be
granted immediate access to the course material and private
access to me for coaching. I look forward to coaching you.

Have Fun,

Peter Murphy

P.S.

Reserve your 365 day trial here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

3 Great Tips For Dealing With Negative People

by Peter Murphy

It can take skill to deal effectively with negative people.
Make sure you are ready for the challenge by reading and
using these tips.

1 Don´t Believe Everything You Hear!

With close friends and family it is not unusual to think
that you ought to take onboard everything you hear. However
do not confuse caring with knowing. Just because someone is
concerned for your welfare does not mean that their advice
or input has value.

For example, I know a lot about peak performance. I do not
know much about car maintenance. If I ever offer you advice
on rebuilding a car engine run as fast as you can!

My input would have little or no value. Likewise with
friends and family. They may be negative about you, your
plans and your opinions simply because they lack the
knowledge to think positively about the situation.

Their ignorance causes them to fear for your welfare.
Distinguish between caring and the knowledge to offer
worthwhile input.

2 Let Go Of Needing Their Approval

I have mentioned this principle many times before because
it is so important. As long as you must have the
permission, approval and acceptance of your peers you are a
victim of their limiting beliefs.

You must let go of wanting approval if you are to ever have
peace of mind. Refer to my book for more help with this.
See Lesson 15 – Letting go of wanting your own approval.

3 Eliminate Your Own Negative Thoughts

Often friends reflect back the negatives you quietly hold
inside your own mind. If you were 100 per cent positive
about your life and your plans it would not matter if
people close to you were negative.

In fact their negative comments might even make you laugh
because their opinions would seem so absurd to you. You can
become more positive by reading books that expand your
knowledge and understanding, spending more time with
positive, dynamic people and by stretching yourself daily.

By stretching I mean challenging yourself to perform better
than your previous best. When you make stretching to be
more part of your life, your belief in what is possible
grows and grows at a furious pace.

Before long you will not have room for negative thoughts.
Choose to find a positive in all things and it quickly
becomes a habit that will transform your experience of life.

I am always asking myself:

— what is good about this?
— what is great about this?
— what have I learned from this that makes me stronger?

Ask yourself the right questions and redirect your mind
back onto the positive.

What else can you do to take charge of even the most
difficult conversations?

Review the Conversation Fear report that comes with my book
at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

If you ever know what to say and still cannot speak up it
is because fear has gotten the better of you. This fear
will not go away until you know how to eliminate it. I show
you three ways in that report.

And…

Make sure you are up to date on the 15 ways to start and
keep a conversation going. I showed you how to do this in
the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report
that you get with my book at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Have a great week,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to take a test drive:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

How To Get The Respect And Appreciation You Deserve

by Peter Murphy

If you have ever tired to win the respect and approval of
others you know how difficult it can be. Especially when
people are not responsive causing you to feel anxious and
even more nervous.

What typically happens next is that you perform poorly
because you feel tense. You fail to express yourself as
well as you can so others do not see you in the best light.
This of course is not a good recipe for winning respect and
appreciation.

What can you do to create a favorable impression in the
eyes of those you want to impress?

1. Relax when meeting people

This is easier said than done unless you know how to
quickly relax even in difficult situations. The ability to
relax when under pressure is an essential skill that allows
you to be at your best whenever you need to be.

When you feel relaxed you will quickly and easily keep the
conversation flowing, you won´t worry about making mistakes
and you´ll find it easier to think of interesting things to
say. Imagine how good that will feel!

Feeling relaxed enables you to enjoy the moment, to pay
closer attention to whoever you are talking to and to drop
those nagging feelings of self-consciousness.

Instant relaxation is the secret to effortlessly making
conversation on a broad range of topics without worrying
about saying the wrong thing. (more about how to relax in
a moment later in this article)

2. Don´t beg for respect

A common mistake is to be overly nice in the hope of
earning respect. This approach never works. The harder you
try to impress the more desperate you will seem.

The best way to earn respect is to start by respecting
yourself. Positive self-talk, affirmations and
visualization all go a long way towards building a sense of
pervasive self-esteem that others pick up on.

The more you respect yourself, the better other people will
treat you. Why? Because your posture, the way you talk and
you entire presence will change for the better when you
feel better about yourself.

Others merely reflect back how you treat yourself. When you
change your behavior other people respond by changing how
they interact with you.

When you have more self-respect for some strange reason
whoever you talk to will pick up on it and start showing
you more respect.

3. Respect and appreciate the other person

The more you choose to like and appreciate the person you
are talking to the more that person will warm to you. When
you exude interest, when you really listen to the other
person and especially when you compliment that person you
encourage a favorable response in them.

People feel obligated to return good treatment with more of
the same. You will notice more compliments, genuine
interest in you and even delight when you give of these
qualities first. So remember to give what you want to get!

Doing so can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first if you
are used to letting others do most of the talking. You need
to get used to speaking up and even leading the
conversation if you are to create an environment of mutual
respect and appreciation.

This is a very important distinction – if you do not make
this change in how you deal with people you will never be
more than a relatively passive observer of the
conversations unfolding before you.

How can you make this change quickly and easily? click here
now to discover my step-by-step system….

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/