Monthly Archives: October 2005

The 4 Secrets to Communication Magic

by Peter Murphy

1 Listen effectively

How many people do you know who truly listen to every word
you say? Think about the people you enjoy being with the
most. Isn´t it true they really pay close attention to you
when you have something important to say?

It´s a shame but very few people care enough to really
listen attentively to the people in their life. They get so
busy and caught up in their own problems that they are
rarely completely present for anyone.

When you develop superior listening skills you will be head
and shoulders above most other people who know better but
still don´t listen.

Being a great listener is a sure fire way to make new
friends, to make people feel deeply appreciated and to
build deep rapport grounded in mutual trust and respect.

2 Know your purpose

Quality communication requires you to know not only what
you want to discuss but also why you want to talk about
that topic. A clear and definite sense of purpose will
guide you and help you to be flexible in your approach.

Mediocre and poor standards of communication share a lack
of purpose that destroys any potential for meaningful
effective communication.

You need a clear sense of purpose to ensure you persist and
maintain flexibility when the dialogue goes off track. It
is far too easy to let the conversation drift unless you
hold in mind your purpose.

Your purpose might be to win acceptance of an idea, to get
a friend to do something for you or it might be to arrange
a family day out.

Whatever the nature of the discussion unless you know your
purpose you are unlikely to achieve what you set out to get
done.

3 Share your insights and opinions

You are a unique individual with interesting personal
viewpoints and a perspective all of your own. You must have
the courage to express yourself as you are to truly be
effective.

The world does not need another clone of someone else. Sing
your song or the whole world misses out on your special
sound.

The confidence to be yourself can be developed quickly and
easily with the right guidance and appropriate strategies.

And it is essential that you do so right away. It is far
too easy to let another week, month or year slip by without
any noticeable improvement in your life.

Decide to share more of yourself and make a point of
letting others know what you think and feel. Do so with
rapport and you may well find that people are very
interested to hear what you have to say.

4 Make sure you have a common understanding

High quality communication is characterized by an ongoing
dialogue that is punctuated by checks for understanding by
all parties to the conversation.

Each person must check that everyone involved is singing
off the same hymn sheet or else the potential for
misunderstanding and confusion is huge.

The failure to check assumptions are valid and that the
other people present know what you mean takes skill and
constant attention to both verbal and non verbal cues.

In many ways a free flowing conversation is very much like
driving a car. Unless you are watching for feedback and
aware of what is going on you will not be able to steer the
conversation and keep it on track.

Now, bear in mind that confidence is the glue that binds
these conversation tips together to ensure your success.

If you feel good about yourself, if you feel confident and
at ease others assume you to be confident and at ease. They
then respect you more. And all because you decided to
respect yourself.

But, when you are fearful you give off different vibes and
because you are avoiding people they tend to avoid you.

And this is why you must identify and let go of your
conversation fear – the fear that stops you from enjoying
the company of others.

Drop the fear and notice how people are much more
interested in getting to know you better. Why? Because you
are letting your true personality shine.

What can you do right now to beat conversation fear?

Review the Conversation Fear report that comes with my
book. Click here now:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

If you ever know what to say and still cannot speak up it
is because fear has gotten the better of you. This fear
will not go away until you know how to eliminate it. I show
you three ways in that report.

And make sure you are up to date on the 15 ways to start
and keep a conversation going. I showed you how to do this
in the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report
that you get with my book.

Click here to trial the system for 365 days:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Have a great day,

Peter Murphy

P.S. Remember, this is a course that requires you to put
the strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and
your success is assured.

My step-by-step course reveals the secret strategies all
high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact.
Apply now for your 365 day trial at:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

The force that stops you from speaking up

by Peter Murphy

There is a powerful force that stops you from speaking up.
It is the same force that prevents you from making your
voice count and it is the reason why others ignore you or
fail to appreciate what you have to offer.

In fact, this force is responsible for most of the lack of
enjoyment, fulfillment and even the limited appreciation
you experience in your day to day life.

Why is this? Because this force keeps people away from you
and stops you from connecting with people you want to know
better.

Thankfully, there is a solution and those who know how have
overcome the same negative force that holds you back. These
people enjoy superior relationships, greater career success
and a busy social life with friends who love and appreciate
them.

I am talking about the fear that stops you from approaching
new people, saying what is really on your mind or
expressing your true personality.

If you ever feel like you need either permission to speak
up or approval from someone before really being yourself
then you know what I mean. It´s as if the rules you learned
as a child are still governing your life: only speak when
spoken to.

Unfortunately as adults we know what happens when we wait
for permission to speak up. That´s right, someone else
takes our place!

Imagine for a moment what your life would be like if you
could drop this tendency to hold yourself back. Your
typical day would be so different. Think of the fun you
would have joking with people.

Imagine all the new people you´d get to know and think
about how good you would feel being an active participant
rather than hiding on the periphery of the group.

Right now, it is as if an imaginary barrier is keeping you
away from other people. And yes, it is imaginary, it is not
real except in your mind.

The people who connect with others, those who are all
smiles and radiating warm confidence simply look at the
world differently. The world is not different – it merely
looks different to them. You can join them when you drop
the self imposed restrictions that are holding you back.

Face your fears and drop them one by one. You do this by
changing how you think – not by changing the world. As soon
as you feel differently about dealing with people others
will notice the change in you and start treating you
differently.

That´s the funny thing about life – to change the world
change yourself and the people in your world will follow
your lead. They respond to you by reflecting back how you
feel about yourself.

If you feel good about yourself, if you feel confident and
at ease others assume you to be confident and at ease. They
then respect you more. And all because you decided to
respect yourself.

But, when you are fearful you give off different vibes and
because you are avoiding people they tend to avoid you.

And this is why you must identify and let go of your
conversation fear – the fear that stops you from enjoying
the company of others.

Drop the fear and notice how people are much more
interested in getting to know you better. Why? Because you
are letting your true personality shine.

What can you do right now to beat conversation fear?

Review the Conversation Fear report that comes with my
book. Click here now:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

If you ever know what to say and still cannot speak up it
is because fear has gotten the better of you. This fear
will not go away until you know how to eliminate it. I show
you three ways in that report.

And make sure you are up to date on the 15 ways to start
and keep a conversation going. I showed you how to do this
in the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report
that you get with my book.

Click here to trial the system for 365 days:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Have a great day,

Peter Murphy

P.S. Remember, this is a course that requires you to put
the strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and
your success is assured.

My step-by-step course reveals the secret strategies all
high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact.
Apply now for your 365 day trial at:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com