Monthly Archives: December 2005

Difficult Conversations and How to Turn Them Around

by Peter Murphy

Many of us have run into difficult people. Some people even
like difficult conversations. Arguments are necessary and
are going to happen, but this difficulty shouldn’t stop you
from communicating.

Nobody agrees 100% of the time, so arguing is a natural
part of the conversation. However, some arguments are
unproductive and lead to hard feelings and can even ruin
relationships.

Knowing how to deal with difficult conversations can ensure
that your argument will not turn out too bad.

The following tips will help you to argue more effectively.
You will see how you can learn from an argument and what is
necessary to make sure an argument ends on the right foot.

Tip#1 Communicate effectively.

You should not use yelling and harsh words to get your
point across. Instead speak calmly and be cautious of words
you use. Use sentences that say “I” instead of blaming
sentences that use “You”.

You should always be aware that you have a point and try to
explain it while also taking in the other persons point.
Don´t let anyone give you the impression your opinion is
not worth expressing.

Tip#2 Remember the other person.

There are two sides to any argument. You should give the
other person respect and listen to their side. Do not shut
them out.

Do not stray from the topic at hand. Most often people
start bringing up past fights or other things that are
completely unrelated to the current argument. Doing his can
cause the other person to shut down and not even want to
speak to you.

Tip#3 Focus.

You should be really trying to work out the problem. Keep
feelings out of the mix. Do not try to make the other
person feel bad because they disagree with you. Watch their
body language to see if they are tense or starting to feel
relaxed.

Arguments go better when people can relax a little. This
helps them to listen better. Be specific with what you
think and what you want the outcome to be. Avoid using the
phrase “I don’t know”.

Tip#4 Resolution.

The ultimate goal with difficult conversations is to
resolve the issue. Try to work out a compromise. Perhaps
someone will have changed their mind by the end. You need
to resolve any negative feelings that may have cropped up
as a result of the argument.

You want everything to return to as it was before the
argument. Nobody should hold any resentment or the argument
was never really resolved.

You do not have to fight to get things done. You can use
these tips in almost any atmosphere where difficult
conversations may crop up.

It doesn’t even matter if the other person is not reacting
this way, as long as you use these tips the other person
should calm down as well. You are not only arguing
effectively, but teaching others by example how to argue
better.

Don’t hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to improve your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.

Communicating with confidence can be learned…

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple – make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.

The Best Way To Get People To Like You

by Peter Murphy

What does everyone want? When you think about it there is
one human need that can never be satisfied for very long.

Like hunger it demands to be attended to until we are
content and if we ignore it for too long we just don´t feel
right.

I am of course talking about the approval of other people.
We all want and indeed need to be liked by others and yet
we never seem to get enough affection, attention or love.

Of course there is a right way and a wrong way of getting
people to like you. If you demand to be liked, force others
to approve of you or constantly seek approval the end
result is always the same – you end up pushing people away.

What is the best way to get people to like you? The answer
is so obvious and so simple that most people will never
accept that it is so. Still, I´ll tell you.

The secret is to firstly approve of yourself and secondly
to choose to find the good in others. When you apply both
of these principles it causes people to respond positively
to you.

Why?

Because as we know only 7% of communication is verbal. When
you feel great about your self it comes across in your
voice tone and facial expressions.

That glow of self approval is very attractive to other
people and virtually forces them to pay more attention to
you and whatever you say.

Now, go to lesson 12 in my book: The Self Appreciation
Enhancer. This technique is a quick and easy way to boost
your self-esteem on a daily basis.

Make a point of feeling great because the happier you feel
the greater the impact your words will have on everyone you
meet.

And when you look for the good in others they can see it in
your eyes, hear it in your words and notice your interest
in them.

Make time for activities and people that energize you. And
of course do schedule in time to recharge so that when you
need to be at your best you have an abundance of energy to
draw on.

Bye for now,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is the author of the proven system for
transforming self-doubt into self-confidence. Develop
great conversation skills and master small talk.

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/