Monthly Archives: January 2006

The People Who Can Help You the Most

I firmly believe that exceptional people skills are
essential for a happy and successful life both at home and
at work.

It is no coincidence that the individuals who dominate in
business tend to be those who can charm and win over even
the most difficult people.

The same applies at home.

True peace of mind and lasting happiness depends on your
ability to get along with family, neighbors and relatives
on both sides of the family. And that includes those
individuals who like to interfere in your personal life.

You see, the more others like and respect you the greater
your options. People will happily go out of their way to
help you if they enjoy your company. You will never want
for friendship, love or attention when you know how to
connect with those people who mean the most to you.

Today I want to talk about a special group of people. The
people who can help you achieve even greater success and
happiness in your life. Strange as it may seem, very few
people pay much attention to cultivating good relationships
with the people who can help them the most. If you find
yourself in the same boat then now is the time to correct
this error of judgment.

The knowledgeable people who can help you are commonly
referred to as mentors. However most people misunderstand
both the nature of a mentor student relationship and how to
find a suitable mentor who is happy to assist you.

A mentor is someone who can help you to make more of
yourself. Typically a good mentor is someone who has
already achieved what you hope to do. He/she has already
invested years of effort and endured much trial and error
in order to figure out the best way to succeed at a
particular endeavor whether that be in personal or
business life.

All you need to do is identify someone who is already
successful in the activity you need help with. These
potential mentors are everywhere once you open your eyes to
the abundance of people who can help you to get ahead.

Let me give you a personal example to show you how you can
meet a mentor in the most unlikely of places.

I met one of my mentors on a flight six years ago. We live
in different countries and meet up once a year, talk on the
phone from time to time and keep in touch by email.

I learn a tremendous amount from him about business success
and he learns a lot from me about things he is out of touch
with such as the internet, business developments where I
live and personal development techniques I use and teach.

Do bear in mind that a good mentor student relationship is
mutually beneficial. The mentor very often feels
unappreciated and wants to talk about his achievements and
favorite success tips. His friends and family have heard it
all before – you do him a big favor by giving him the
opportunity to talk about it to someone who really wants to
listen and learn.

You can save yourself years of effort by getting advice
from an appropriate mentor. Sounds easy doesn´t it? It is
easy. However most people get stuck at this point. There
are three main barriers to cultivating a good mentor
student relationship.

BARRIER #1  No obvious mentor to approach.

Ask people you know if they can introduce you to a
potential mentor. Your circle of influence expands very
quickly when you ask for help. Most people are more than
happy to help if you ask them in the right way.

Don´t make the mistake of putting your friends under
pressure to help you. Instead enlist their help in your
special mission. Encourage them to help you find a solution.

Once you know the kind of mentor you need simply
communicate a precise description of the particular skills
you want to learn before asking the advice of friends.

Of course there is no need to use the word “mentor”, you
could say you want to meet someone who can advise you.

BARRIER #2  fear of rejection.

Typically people avoid approaching a potential mentor for a
number of reasons such as fear of rejection, not wanting to
look stupid or concerns about feeling awkward asking for
help.

These are all manifestations of conversation fear and these
self-defeating patterns will hold you back in all aspects
of your life unless you know how to deal with these fears.

Review my conversation fear report (it comes as a special
bonus with my book) as a matter of urgency if you still
struggle with fear. Those three ways of crushing fear are
cutting edge techniques you can and should be using to
eliminate fears about dealing with people. Until you do so
you will never feel completely at ease mixing with people.

BARRIER #3 Self-esteem issues.

Some people may have trouble making conversation despite
adequate preparation for the conversation with the mentor.

If you feel inferior to the more successful individual
you may get stuck for words even though you know what to
ask.

This is a self-esteem issue that needs to be addressed as a
matter of urgency. We all have equal value as human beings
regardless of whether someone else is more knowledgeable or
more skillful than you in some aspect of life.

It is extremely important that you learn to approve of
yourself. Love yourself for who you are despite any
failings you may have. You do not need to be perfect to be
a wonderful, unique human being.

If you need help with self-esteem refer to lesson 12, The
Self Appreciation Enhancer, in my book and take care of
this matter right away.

Whatever your background or dreams for the future do make a
point of finding people who will gladly help you to move
ahead with less aggravation and effort than it will take if
you try to go it alone.

As you may already know I offer email coaching to everyone
who is applying the strategies in my book. This is one way
that I mentor others who want the short cut to developing
exceptional people skills.

Imagine how much happier and more successful you will be
when you master the ability to connect with anyone you
meet. That invisible barrier between you and the people in
your day to day life will dissolve into thin air.

And then you will realize it was nothing more than a game
all along but you had no chance of winning the people game
because nobody had told you the insider secrets that allow
you to win.

It really is a shame to live your life in a self-imposed
prison simply because you are missing a few key insights
and some essential strategies. The difference between
winning and losing with people is a slight margin.

It really is time you joined my inner circle and the
thousands of people like you who are enjoying great success
with my proven step by step system. And it´s not just me
saying this either. You can read the rave reviews for what
I teach at my site. Some of these personal stories may even
bring tears to your eye. Read them here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

All the very best,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

The Reason Why Communication Success is an Inside Job

What I am going to talk about today is quite personal. By
sharing a personal story I hope you will grasp just why
excellent communication skills are not just a nice to have
— these skills are essential if you are to get what you
deserve and need for yourself and those you care about.

Let me explain…

I just got off the phone with my friend Kim. She had good
news and bad news. The good news first – her mother has
just got the all clear from the hospital and is now clear
of breast cancer. The procedure was a success.

The bad news, her mother has an aggressive form of cancer.
The really bad news… the doctor told her to come back in
6 months. That´s right, because of hospital budgets and
management policies they have no intention of keeping a
close eye on her situation. They have no plans to do
anything unless and until symptoms reoccur.

Kim heard this and hit the roof. She rushed to the hospital
and met with the doctor. She then discussed the seriousness
of her mothers condition and asked the doctor for help and
guidance.

She then went one step further – she got the doctor to try
harder and to commit to getting her mother the best
treatment possible. Kim used charm, persuasion and
personality to win over the doctor.

What´s interesting about all this is that if Kim had not
spoken up her mother would not now be benefiting from the
dedicated and committed attention of the hospital.

Kim´s mother would be one more victim of a resource
strapped health care system – forgotten about and left
untreated when she needs it the most.

What is the big lesson for you and I?

When you know how to make a great impression good things
happen; when you can win people over resources are at your
disposal that others do without; when you can stand up and
be counted even with the pressure on, people listen to you.
Others want to be with you and they are more than happy to
help you get what you want.

We live in busy hectic times and those who speak up and
know how to win peoples attention, confidence and support
dominate in business. These same people also enjoy full and
happy social lives. These individuals are popular,
respected, liked and appreciated by their friends.

Life is not fair. You are much more likely to get what you
want if you go and ask for what you want…. and especially
if people like and respect you.

Those who remain passive and unsure end up getting what is
left over. They take what they can get.

The funny thing is your life does not need to be like this.
You CAN get what you want. But first you need to discover
how the game is really played. You need to realize that
success with people is an inside job.

When you see smiling, confident, dynamic people you see
those who have mastered the inner game of communication
confidence. They know how to feel great about themselves,
they know how to transfer this charisma to whoever they
meet.

People like Kim…

She know how to step up and make people respond to her
requests. Even under pressure, even in a life and death
situation she can calmly and confidently ask for and get
what is needed. And thankfully her mother will now live
longer to enjoy her grandchildren.

You can do the same…

Don’t hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.

Communicating with confidence can be learned…

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple – make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.