I was talking this week to Mike. This guy is a
model of courage in the face of adversity. He
finds it difficult to approach people and make
conversation so he decided to face his fears.
A friend suggested to Mike that he approach
strangers on the streets of Manhattan to ask for
directions. This would help him to face and move
beyond his fears, so they believed.
I was concerned when I heard this and what
happened next was interesting to say the least!
I´ll tell you what happened in a moment but first
let me explain why you would do well to never put
yourself in situations that can provoke your
fears, anxieties and insecurities.
When you face fear WITHOUT a better way to deal
with the situation at hand matters may worsen at
a very fast rate. Why? Because you are simply
conditioning your fear and ineffective coping
It is like a baseball player swinging and missing
the ball – he will continue to miss the ball
unless he changes his approach, dumps what does
not work and replaces it with a superior strategy.
But here´s the kicker.
Fear causes us to lock down and perform as we
usually do in a given situation. It immobilizes
us. It stops us from learning and improving.
This is what happened to Mike on the streets of
Manhattan. Fear took over despite his best
intentions and courage. He persisted though and
approached stranger after stranger and not one
would stop and give him the time of day. This
stressful “failure” reinforced his fear and he
still felt unsettled the following day.
The best advice I can give you, and Mike, is to
remember two key points.
1. SECRET #1 – Feel phenomenal.
Being at your best with people begins with how
you feel. We know that over 90% of communication
is non-verbal yet many people obsess over what to
Spend much more time on feeling phenomenal and
the words will take care of themselves. Seriously!
Think about it for a moment. Have you ever felt
talkative, full of enthusiasm and bursting with
energy? Of course you have. And, when you feel
like that you drive the conversation – it´s
inevitable. (you don´t worry about what to say)
That is secret number one of advanced
communication – manage your emotional state.
2. SECRET #2 – Kill fear the easy way.
There is no reason to stress yourself out facing
your fears when there are far more effective ways
to rid yourself of the fears that limit your
Fear is a result of thinking about certain
situations in specific ways so that you link
feeling incapable to those situations. When you
change this association the fear dissolves.
Make it a priority to drop your fears and you
will enjoy the peace of mind that comes from
knowing you can enjoy the company of whoever you
I show you how to do this in the Conversation
Fear report that comes as a special bonus with my
step by step system.
There are secrets to quickly and easily improving
your communication skills. Let me tell you how I
figured it out, click here: