Monthly Archives: July 2007

How to Guarantee Great People Skills by Connecting with People

Do you know how to improve your people skills? Improving your people skills entails knowing to create a good connection with people. And there are certain things you have to remember if you want to connect well with the people around you.

1) Connecting with people does not mean you have to be a phony. It is the direct opposite of pretending to be someone you are not.

2) Connecting with people means you should be aware of who you are first and what you hold dear to yourself. This means being aware of what values you espouse and stand for.

3) You must then be able to form a relationship between your personal set of values with the values that other people hold dear to themselves. This then is the act of connecting with people.

How does one go about connecting with people?

1) You connect with other people by taking advantage of your potential for communicating with other people. This means using your body and your faculties during the communication process.

2) Make eye contact with the other person. This may be one of the most valuable non-verbal means of communication you can use. One glance from another person can speak volumes about that person’s feelings and attitude about you. How many times have fights broken out in bars and restaurants simply because one person looked at the other person “the wrong way”? Much of what we want to communicate can be delivered through the eyes.

3) Be conscious of the different channels for communication that you and other people use. Many misunderstandings crop up when someone uses a communication channel that the other person is unfamiliar with. For example, some people like to talk a lot so they don’t understand people who aren’t so vocal. Others are “touchers” who like to convey part of what they are feeling to the other person through touch – perhaps a pat on the shoulder, or a friendly swat on the behind are all it takes for this person to show approval.

4) Be conscious of gaps between cultures. In this age of multiculturalism, where different cultures can co-exist in the same community, it is inevitable that communication can breakdown occasionally (and sometimes more often than is comfortable.) It helps if you are tolerant towards other cultures because then you do not instantly become hostile at the mere presence of a person from another culture.

If you are aware of what you stand for and know you will not be immediately convinced to follow another cultural perspective, then there is no need to bristle when a new person from another culture makes his presence known. On the contrary, you will welcome cultural exchanges for their potential value to you.

5) Be aware of your potential for change. Sometimes, it is necessary to interact with other people because you have a need to change something about yourself. Fanatics have a hard time changing because they believe their beliefs are superior to other beliefs.

If you look inside yourself and find that there are aspects of your beliefs, thoughts, or personality that could be adjusted, then this can only help to improve your relationships with other people. If another person is able to point out that need to change, it is beneficial if you are open to changing. Otherwise, hostilities will result but you will remain the same person who needs to change.

People skills can be improved if you only know how to go about it. And improving your people skills will benefit you in a myriad of ways. So do take the appropriate steps to enhance your people skills and see the difference these make in your relationships with other people.

free communication skills report

Oral Communication Success Made Easy

Do you want to improve communication skills? Perhaps you are someone who finds it difficult to communicate with people in situations like carrying on a conversation, making a speech before a crowd, or even simply answering a phone call at home or in the office.

If you encounter problems like these, fear not – there’s hope for you. Here are some tips that should help you gain better communication skills:

1) Take a cue from conversation starters – these are people who find it easy to strike a conversation with anyone on just about any topic they choose.

One thing such conversation starters have in common is that they talk about topics that they are comfortable with, with people who would like to talk to them. If they feel the other party does not want to talk about that topic, they easily excuse themselves.

2) If the topic switches to one that conversation starters are not comfortable with or know little about, conversation starters choose to become listeners rather than speakers. Do this and you will find yourself absorbing a lot of information that you were previously not knowledgeable about.

3) When you are in a conversation with someone, make it a point to make eye contact with whoever you are speaking with – and smile in a friendly way so the speaker knows you are not hostile.

4) Interject humor into the conversation whenever possible. It becomes possible to do this if you feel that the other people in the group share the same mindset as you. If you are not sure, play it safe.

5) If the group is deeply engrossed with a topic, do participate by introducing your own point of view on that topic. If the group is talking about politics, it is in bad taste to suddenly blurt out “So what do you think about the Lakers this year?” You should try to keep the tangent of your interjection in line with the topic at hand.

6) If you want to be a good conversationalist, it helps to be a voracious reader. Read about various topics that interest you, not necessarily topics that are popular at the moment.

Don’t force yourself to become interested in other topics just because you know other people like those topics – you will come across as trying too hard later on.

7) Ask other people in the group to contribute their own opinions as well. Some people would like to participate in a conversation but find it difficult because of natural shyness. Encourage such people to react to your own opinions and you will find that the conversation becomes richer as a result.

8) When other people react to your point of view, learn the fine art of absorbing their opinions then volleying your own reaction to those opinions. Take note that you don’t need to be hostile since opinions can be expressed in a mild tone of voice as well.

9) Avoid emotion-laden words. It may become unavoidable that one will occasionally become emotional during a conversation, particularly if the topic is one close to your heart.

But using emotion-laden words might be construed as an attack against another person’s beliefs – so, when you can avoid emotional language, choose less flammable words to express yourself instead.

10) Telling anecdotes about yourself is always a good option to liven up a conversation. It is a form of self-revelation and may encourage others in the group to tell their own stories as well.

Be careful though that the stories you tell do not threaten the privacy of other people – for example, if the story involves an embarrassing habit of your spouse, you may want to tell another story instead. You never know when your spouse will learn that you became the star of the show at his or her expense.

Follow these tips and you will find that you can easily improve communication skills in a wide range of situations.

free communication skills report

Improve Communication Skills in 10 Easy Ways

Do you want to improve communication skills? Perhaps you are someone who finds it difficult to communicate with people in situations like carrying on a conversation, making a speech before a crowd, or even simply answering a phone call at home or in the office.

If you encounter problems like these, fear not – there’s hope for you. Here are some tips that should help you gain better communication skills:

1) Take a cue from conversation starters – these are people who find it easy to strike a conversation with anyone on just about any topic they choose.

One thing such conversation starters have in common is that they talk about topics that they are comfortable with, with people who would like to talk to them. If they feel the other party does not want to talk about that topic, they easily excuse themselves.

2) If the topic switches to one that conversation starters are not comfortable with or know little about, conversation starters choose to become listeners rather than speakers. Do this and you will find yourself absorbing a lot of information that you were previously not knowledgeable about.

3) When you are in a conversation with someone, make it a point to make eye contact with whoever you are speaking with – and smile in a friendly way so the speaker knows you are not hostile.

4) Interject humor into the conversation whenever possible. It becomes possible to do this if you feel that the other people in the group share the same mindset as you. If you are not sure, play it safe.

5) If the group is deeply engrossed with a topic, do participate by introducing your own point of view on that topic. If the group is talking about politics, it is in bad taste to suddenly blurt out “So what do you think about the Lakers this year?” You should try to keep the tangent of your interjection in line with the topic at hand.

6) If you want to be a good conversationalist, it helps to be a voracious reader. Read about various topics that interest you, not necessarily topics that are popular at the moment.

Don’t force yourself to become interested in other topics just because you know other people like those topics – you will come across as trying too hard later on.

7) Ask other people in the group to contribute their own opinions as well. Some people would like to participate in a conversation but find it difficult because of natural shyness. Encourage such people to react to your own opinions and you will find that the conversation becomes richer as a result.

8) When other people react to your point of view, learn the fine art of absorbing their opinions then volleying your own reaction to those opinions. Take note that you don’t need to be hostile since opinions can be expressed in a mild tone of voice as well.

9) Avoid emotion-laden words. It may become unavoidable that one will occasionally become emotional during a conversation, particularly if the topic is one close to your heart.

But using emotion-laden words might be construed as an attack against another person’s beliefs – so, when you can avoid emotional language, choose less flammable words to express yourself instead.

10) Telling anecdotes about yourself is always a good option to liven up a conversation. It is a form of self-revelation and may encourage others in the group to tell their own stories as well.

Be careful though that the stories you tell do not threaten the privacy of other people – for example, if the story involves an embarrassing habit of your spouse, you may want to tell another story instead. You never know when your spouse will learn that you became the star of the show at his or her expense.

Follow these tips and you will find that you can easily improve communication skills in a wide range of situations.

free communication skills report