Monthly Archives: August 2007

7 Fast Ways for Building Self Esteem

building self esteem is synonymous to achieving our goals. If we want our children to be achievers we must be able to feed them with the need for having healthy self esteem. A person with good self esteem is most likely to do well in any organization.

Self esteem is an integral part of personal happiness and fulfilling relationships. Self esteem is how much we value, love, accept and appreciate ourselves. It is reflected in the way we interact with other people and face life challenges.

Self esteem is not something we are born with; rather, how we were brought up plays an important role in its development. Here is a helpful guide for parents who want to build the self esteem of their children.

1. Praise your child. Always have a word of praise ready for any job done. No matter how simple or great an accomplishment is, praise your child. This makes him feel appreciated and encourages him to do more. The feeling of confidence is engraved in the psyche of the child.

2. Take time to listen. As parents, often times we fail to really listen to our children, often jumping to conclusions and giving our verdict. Children must be listened to. It is the feeling of getting attention from their parents that counts. When we listen to our children we give them a sense of being valued, accepted and loved.

3. Respect them. One way of showing respect to our children is in the way we speak to them. Whether in private or when in front of other people we must speak to them respectfully. Parents are the first people children interact with. We teach them to use kind words so it is only right that parents practice using them. Receiving respect is one way of feeding their self esteem.

4. A touch, a hug is more than just attention. Nothing is more comforting and fulfilling than the feeling of being loved. To a child the feeling that someone is there gives them a sense of security. And this attention gives them freedom from future insecurities.

5. Train to win. Allow them to compete. Teach the rule of sports: It is not about winning the game but how you play it. Achieving to win must be the objective but be able to support them when they lose. It is a self esteem boosting experience when they experience winning in early childhood.

6. Let them be surrounded by good and trustworthy friends. While children are still young we still have the chance to choose friends for them. It is however somehow dependent on the circle of friends we have because more or less the children of our own friends are the very ones they will be around with. So parents, be in good company yourself.

7. Give them room to make mistakes. We must learn the art of focusing on the positive and not on the negative. Teach them that committing errors is a natural thing and learning from mistakes is one of the great teachers of successful people on earth.

Childhood experiences lead to a healthy self esteem. Parents can make or break their child as far as this foundation is concerned. This guide to self esteem is effective as long as it is consistently practiced. We are role models to our children and they are intelligent individuals. They can detect sincerity or otherwise at a glance.

Logically the parents themselves must have good self esteem to be able to build it in their child. Children with good self esteem are able to handle mistakes, disappointments and failures. They are able to face the challenges of life. It is very important that parents be able to practice building self esteem in their children – their very future is dependent on it.

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Improving Self Esteem in 10 Simple Steps

How many ways of improving self-esteem are there? It plays an important role in everything we do. Having good self esteem makes one enjoy life to the fullest despite his social standing in life. In fact, some of the most prominent figures in society have problems with their self esteem. The adulation received by actors from the public is no guarantee of good self esteem. Some actors are desperately insecure off stage. Some rich and famous people are victims of low self esteem. Where then do we get good self esteem? If we have low self esteem, are there ways we can improve it?

Let us first take a look at its meaning. The word esteem comes from Latin which means to estimate. So self esteem is how you look at yourself, how you estimate yourself. It is a strong influence on how we live our lives. People who constantly received encouragement from home tend to have better self esteem than those who did not. Improving it helps us live life and savor our achievements.

If you have suffered disappointment and made mistakes in the past and now suffer from low self esteem then read these helpful tips to get you out of that state.

1. Think positive thoughts about yourself. This allows you to outweigh your shortcomings. Stop destructive thoughts. Daily do the exercise of saying something good about you. If possible, write it down and place it where you can see it the whole day. Constant reminders cause you to live and believe it.

2. Aim for accomplishments and not perfection. There is nothing wrong in aiming for perfection – however, most of the people who failed in this goal ended up unhappy. Aim for accomplishment and enjoy doing it.

3. View mistakes as part of learning. Accept the fact that we all make mistakes. People who do not make mistakes are those who do not do anything. Remind yourself that part of developing your ability and talents are committing errors on the way. We do much of our learning through our mistakes. We have the right to make mistakes, we are only human.

4. Experiment. Do new things, try different activities that will help you know what gifts you have. Your talents must be cultivated and developed. Take pride in what you have.

5. Recognize that there are things you can and cannot change. We cannot change our height or the past that we had. Love yourself the way you are. If you have the ability to change some things you are unhappy with, then change it.

6. Set goals. Plan what you would like to accomplish and how you would do it. Stick to your plan and keep track of your progress.

7. Do voice out your opinions and ideas and take pride in them. We all have the right to have our opinions and ideas be heard.

8. Tell yourself that you are a very special individual. Even identical twins are not completely the same. You were created as a unique individual capable of doing small and great things.

9. Respect yourself. This allows you to gain respect from others. More than anything else, love yourself, you deserve it. It is you who should be able to value your worth, despite what other people think.

10. Learn to listen to criticism. Criticism is an opportunity for you to improve. Often, we encounter unfair criticism – it is only fair then to tell the other person that we disagree with his opinion. Calmly get your message through with a smile.

There may be other ways not mentioned here but we will surely learn it along the way. Remember to practice these ways of improving self esteem and you will be a better person for it.

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Self Esteem Tests – How to Win!

Have you ever taken self esteem tests? A self esteem test is designed to measure eight indicators of self esteem: degree to which you procrastinate, the number of moral rules you feel you should adhere to, your flexibility in taking risks, whether you practice positive thinking or not, the degree to which you blame yourself when things go wrong, how shy you are around strangers, the number of meaningful relationships you are able to maintain, and the level of self-acceptance you practice.

Here are some questions that would appear on a sample self esteem test:

1. How often do you procrastinate on tasks that are necessary?

2. How many times do you reject invitation to an event though you would really like to attend it?

3. How often do you tell your boss you cannot come to work because you are ill (even if you are well?

4. How often do you dawdle over decision making because you cannot make up your mind?

5. How often do you share genuine feelings with the people around you?

6. How often do you avoid doing a task that you really have to do?

7. In what parts of your life do you feel guilt or self-recrimination?

8. Do you think that you should feel more self esteem and be more comfortable with other people?

9. How often do you experience conflict between doing what you feel is necessary to do and doing what you just want to do?

10. How often have you been informed that you look at life too seriously?

11. How often are you open to constructive criticism?

12. How often do you rely on the input or advice of people in authority, even when they are strangers to you?

13. Do you believe that people think your opinions matter?

14. How often do you try to learn new knowledge so that you will gain a new perspective into the topic?

15. How long have you been a member of a group, cult or religious organization that imposes rules, beliefs or truths that you value very much?

16. How often do you use words like: everyone, all, none, nobody, never, always?

17. Do you believe that you require a lot of proof before you can assess a situation and create your own conclusions?

18. Do you have terms of endearment that you use to label things and events in your life?

19. Do you believe that if you do not achieve a desired outcome in an endeavour that it automatically makes you a failure?

20. How high are the standards in life that you set for yourself and other people?

21. How often do you apologize for circumstances not in your immediate control?

22. Do you always feel that you are being observed by other people or that they are talking about you behind your back?

23. Do you believe that the people you live with think your possessions take up too much space when they say that the house is too cramped?

24. When you compare yourself to other people, do you find that they are better than you in some way (i.e. more beautiful, smarter, sing better, etc.)?

25. Do you believe that other people fail to respect you?

26. Do you feel awkward striking up a conversation with other people, to the point that you stutter or make mistakes talking to them?

27. Do you try to stay in the background even when your actions prove that you deserve to be at center stage?

28. Do you believe other people perceive you as being distant or aloof?

29. How many people can you name as belonging to your circle of friends?

There are many more tests out there that you can take to determine your level of self esteem. This is just one sample of the various self esteem tests available.

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