Monthly Archives: August 2007

Improving Self Esteem in Children – 5 Great Tips

It is important that parents know the right way of improving self esteem in their children. Many parents, unfortunately, do not know this and so their relationship with their children suffers as a result. Their children grow into adults who have low self esteem which later affects their interpersonal relationships with other people – all because their parents did not foster their self esteem when they were children.

Parents should bear in mind that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, meaning they should prevent low self esteem from developing in their children so that when they become adults they will not have to pay for costly psychoanalysis just to solve their self esteem problem.

How does a parent raise a child with high self esteem?

1. Do use words of encouragement when dealing with your child. Please remember that they are only children and will most likely make mistakes because they lack experience. So even when your child fails to do something, try to find something about the situation to praise your child about. You could say: it is not good that you took the grocery money to buy sweets with, but I am glad that you are telling me now that you did it. It shows that you are trying to be honest.

2. Teach your child to speak positive self-statements. Try to correct your child when he says things like: I am so stupid! I will never get this right! Tell your child to say instead: okay, I made a mistake today but I can go back and make it right. It is okay.

3. Try not to ridicule or embarrass your child, particularly in front of siblings or his friends. Children are very sensitive to being humiliated and we all know how merciless other children can be towards their peers, without thinking that they are hurting the feelings of that child. If you must criticize, choose your words carefully. You will be surprised how deeply your child will be wounded if you ridicule or embarrass him.

4. It is important to give your child the ability to make the right decisions. How? Well, try to give your child little opportunities every day to take responsibility for certain things. For example, you could bring your child to the supermarket or grocery store and allow him to choose some things that are needed for your house that week. One woman even gave her 11-year-old son the responsibility of choosing the house that they were going to relocate to in another place. The boy was responsible for various aspects of that task – from calling the owner of the house to make inquiries about the price and terms of their lease, to inspecting the house itself. Then the 11-year-old forwarded the information to his mom who was to make the final decision. Granted, not all children can take on that kind of responsibility but there are definitely other things they can do.

5. Have a sense of humor. It is good for children to see that not everything in life needs to be taken so seriously. A child who learns to laugh at himself when he makes a mistake knows that he will be able to bounce back from that setback. He will tell himself: okay, that was a very funny thing I just did. Now, let us see if I can do better this time around. Parents who tend to take everything very seriously are usually the first to feel down when things do not go always as planned.

Parents have an important role to play when building up the self esteem of their child. Work on improving self esteem in your child and he will grow up a healthier adult.

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How to Have High Self Esteem in 10 Easy Steps

There are many so-called experts out there who claim to have to key to how to have high self esteem. But be careful – you will want to check out their claims first before you become an ardent follower. Because the fact is, not everyone who says he knows really does know how to have high self esteem.

Do not be confused though – it is possible to develop high self esteem. High self esteem is valuable in fostering mental, spiritual and physical strength. So how does one develop high self esteem?

1. Learn to love yourself and love life as well. Be happy for the blessings that the Creator has granted to you – these could be a healthy body, a happy family, a job that pays well. There are many things you can be grateful for. Many people, sadly enough, fail to recognize these blessings as being factors behind developing high self esteem.

2. Learn to let go of feelings of resentment and anger. Perhaps you feel jealous that another person seems to have the traits and possessions which you would like for yourself? Being resentful and angry will not help you gain those things – on the contrary, they will just make you more likely not to be granted such things.

3. Practice positive thinking by focusing on what talents you have and the accomplishments that come about by using such talents. You will be surprised how far along in life this gets you.

4. Learn to reconstruct your daily life so that you are in the best position to become the person you desire to become. Strive to be happy by living a lifestyle that gives you as little stress as possible – but do not confuse this with living a slothful life.

5. Make an effort to develop qualities necessary to pursuing your goals and dreams. These qualities are strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge.

6. Try to remain open-minded to any advice or constructive criticism that other people may feel you need. You will have to learn the skill of discernment, or being able to sieve good advice from bad advice. Unfortunately, we often have to take the bad with the good – but that does not mean you have to follow bad advice. You must know how to discard bad advice without including the good advice that you need to make improvements in your life.

7. Learn from past experience so that you can avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Often, our feelings of low self esteem come from the fact that we may fail in certain aspects of our life. For example, you may consider yourself a poor parent because you often lose your temper with your kids. If so, try to analyze why you lose your temper then try to come up with alternative reactions that are more effective when your kids repeat their offensive behavior.

8. Do not focus on the negative things that happen in your life. Many people often become physically or mentally incapacitated because they feel burdened by negative thoughts and feelings. You can heal yourself by thinking positive thoughts instead.

9. Do make an effort to help other people. Perhaps they can benefit from your experience in some matters, especially if they are younger. A man who became a teenage father can advise his teenage son about the pitfalls of premarital sex and the burdens of becoming a teenage parent. When you try to help others, you not only feel good about yourself afterwards, the other person also benefits. You change lives this way.

10. Chop up your life goals into short-term goals and long-term goals. As you set about trying to accomplish your short-term goals, you will find your confidence increasing. Eventually, you will get to reach even your long-term goals.

Are we clear so far? These tips will teach you how to have high self esteem – just take things one step at a time.

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How to Build Self Esteem in Children

Every parent has to learn how to build self esteem in their child. You might think that children do not have a problem with low self esteem but some of them do – and that someone could easily be your child.

How does one build self esteem in their child? You may rely on the following steps to guide you through the process:

1. It is important to foster a sense of connection with the child to improve his sense of self worth. Parents who do not take the time to talk to their child in loving terms and even cradling their child will find that their child will most likely have low self-esteem as a result. To solve this problem, you should set aside time for bonding with your child – this sends the message to your child that he is worth your while.

2. Create opportunities for your child to participate in family, school, and community activities. When he is allowed to be involved in these groups, he is made to feel like he belongs which drives up his self esteem.

3. Direct teaching, guided practice and modeling are ways for your child to learn appropriate conversational and social skills early in life. This is important so that he can learn how to work and live with other people.

4. Sharing with your child anecdotes about the elders and ancestors of his family, and try to make him feel proud of his heritage and nationality. This gives him a sense that his lineage is a valuable part of him.

5. Look for every opportunity to make your child feel that he is a unique person by showing him that he possesses special qualities and talents that make him stand out among his peers. Every child wants to feel that he is not a run-of-the-mill person, that he was made differently in some way.

6. Allow your child to develop his own ways of expressing himself. Respect any thoughts and feelings that he may eventually express – these make up a valuable part of his personality.

7. Permit your child to satisfy his curiosity, imagination, and creativity through daily learning experiences. Even if you have to guide him through such experiences, it is important that he take the initiative to learn about the world around him. This sets the foundation for more advanced learning opportunities in the future when he is an independent adult.

8. Nurture a sense of power in your child by giving him opportunities to succeed in his many fields of endeavor. This may mean taking a step back sometimes and letting him reach his goals on his own, but it will be worth it because your child will gain more self-confidence as a result.

9. Let your child take responsibility for certain tasks in the family. Even a mundane chore like taking out the garbage bin everyday will contribute to his sense of responsibility.

10. The child should have a chance to practice any new skills he learns. Your child should learn to analyze why he fails at a certain task, and how he can change the outcome next time. This entails setting doable standards for himself so that he has the opportunity to succeed.

11. Skills in problem solving and decision making can be inculcated in your child at an early age. He must learn how to prioritize, anticipate consequences, and determine the right plan of action for any project he undertakes.

12. Be a good role model to your child – remember, children learn by copying the behavior of other people, particularly their immediate elders. If you dictate one mode of behavior but act in another way, that just confuses the child.

13. Impart a stable value system in your child so that he will be able to discern right from wrong even at a young age.

All these tips should help you learn how to build self esteem in your child.

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