Monthly Archives: September 2007

The Best Ways to Solve Shyness

People who have a problem with shyness approach finding solutions to their problem in different ways.

Negative coping mechanisms:

There are some people who resort to negative ways to solve their shyness. They may opt to take drugs which allegedly can relieve feelings of shyness (even though no such drug exists.) Because shy people may get depressed by their inability to have normal relationships with other people, they may opt to take anti-depressants – that is a very bad idea because anti-depressants are meant to help people whose depression has deeper causes then simple shyness.

Others abuse alcohol because they think they can drown their sorrows in liquor and the shyness will go away. Or they drink because someone may have told them that drinking makes one bolder because you lose your inhibitions. Some may foolishly take drugs and alcohol together – a combination which has fatal results.

Taking illegal drugs such as marijuana and cocaine is another step some shy people resort to but which only leaves them addicted. That is why drug abuse is so common in Hollywood – many well-known personalities think that their shyness will become less obvious or disappear onstage if they take illegal drugs. You may be surprised how many popular celebrities are actually painfully shy off-camera.

Coping properly with shyness:

Shyness can be dealt with if you use the right methods. Try to meet new people aside from the same old faces you see everyday. This may necessitate taking new routes going home – use a different bus and strike up a conversation with the bus driver. Try cycling or walking through other neighborhoods and compliment homeowners who are tending their gardens about how beautiful their roses seem to be growing.

If a new family moves in the neighborhood, ring their doorbell and present them with a cake or a pie to welcome them (even store-bought sweets will do if you do not bake.) Go to church – people who worship God are usually approachable people who will not make fun of you, even if you have another problem such as stuttering that may compound your shyness.

Go to public events, like parades and concerts. You will be surprised how easy it is to converse with strangers if you share the same interests. Compare notes on how well this band seems to be developing, and how many of their CDs you each have in your personal collections.

Even relatives may be complete strangers to you if your shyness has kept you from interacting with them. Hunt down the phone number of a cousin you find nice enough and call her up, ask her how her children are, if her husband still works at that job he hates. Try to stay in touch with family because they will usually be the first to rush to your aid when you get in trouble – and not just because you want to practice conversing with someone.

You may be surprised how many of your friends are still your friends after you have neglected them if you did not solve shyness. Do take the time to keep in touch or renew ties with them so that you do not get rejected in the future.

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Super Tips for Overcoming Shyness in the Workplace

You probably know someone in the workplace who has a problem with shyness. You know them – the introvert who never leaves his cubicle and even takes snacks and his lunch there. Some people are so shy that they opt to take heavier and heavier loads of paperwork as their quota in the office, because this gives them an excuse not to interact with superiors and colleagues (or at least not as often.)

Others express their shyness by just nodding quickly at co-workers as they pass by or avoiding making eye contact altogether. Such people get unfairly labeled as the office weirdos when in fact they are simply painfully shy.

What are the best approaches for overcoming shyness in the workplace?

A manager who notices that one of his employees is quite shy should make an effort to draw him into group
meetings and discussions. Do not worry – involving him more deeply into group interaction is good for him. Ask his opinion about office problems and issues, even in front of co-workers.

This will show him that you value his input. You may be surprised how much such a shy person can contribute, given the chance. At simple gatherings, such as when the staff takes a break to go to the cafeteria for lunch, try inviting the shy employee to your table for lunch. He may seem surprised at the offer, and even hesitate, but if it is the boss who asks, who can refuse? The employee will become more confident because of the attention and honor being shown to him.

A manager with a really introverted staffer can ask other people in the same department – particularly the nice, approachable ones – to help by also approaching the shy employee. They could invite their shy colleague to a weekend out with the rest of the staff. Some companies deliberately encourage their employees to form sports teams like softball and touch football teams that allow everyone to become weekend warriors. This gives people who are otherwise preoccupied with work from Monday to Friday to get to know one another better in their leisure time.

Effects of shyness:

Shyness is one cause of underemployment, or the state when a person is employed at a rank lower than his capabilities. This is because shy people give the impression that they are not capable of much more than the expectations of that low position. A shy person who wants to move up in the organization may find his shyness to be a barrier to promotion.

For example, if he wants to go up to the boss and ask for a raise or to be given a better job, he may discover himself to be tongue-tied and lose his nerve. Or he may think so poorly of his credentials and capabilities that he finds it difficult to promote himself as being the right person for the job he secretly eyes.

To be successful in overcoming shyness in the workplace, the shy person must be able to get the sympathy of people he works with. This will make it easier for him to overcome shyness.

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3 Quick and Easy Shyness Tips

If you have seen shows on the Animal Planet or the National Geographic channel showing the behavior of a doe or other animals when they veer away from human contact, this is how shyness is defined in animals. Shyness with humans is basically depicted the same way, and it occurs when there is a feeling of fear, embarrassment or uncertainty when speaking with or facing other people.

There are several causes, levels and ways of dealing with shyness. This quality, which is not always beneficial to an individual, can lead to a lot of missed social and professional opportunities if it is not overcome. Thus, if you are the ‘shy type’ and you feel that you are not getting the most out of life because of this aspect of your personality, you need to take steps in overcoming shyness. Take a look at the following shyness tips and some pointers on how to overcome shyness:

1. Just like any other type of fear, the first step in overcoming shyness is to recognize the problem and proactively decide to do something about it.

Shyness is a type of fear in the sense that you are afraid of doing or saying something that other people may misinterpret or laugh at. There are various aspects and causes of shyness depending on each individual. For others, shyness may be a simple fear or insecurity of being embarrassed in front of other people. For some, shyness may be an extreme condition which can cause discomfort to the individual and to other people as well.

Sometimes, extreme shyness may cause nervousness, palpitation, blushing, slurring in speech and a visible agitation in a person’s mannerisms. Just like any other fear, you can only manage to overcome shyness if you recognize the problem and the way that it is limiting your social and professional life. The next step, of course, is decide to confront shyness, meet the problem head-on and decide to do something about it.

2. Grab each opportunity to be with people and try to have a casual conversation to ‘practice’.

Shyness can easily be a state of mind. Your insecurities and fears are the two major factors that play part in the way that you think others will perceive you. If you do not go out there and at least try to overcome your shyness, you will never be comfortable when in the company of other people. Even a simple matter of asking for directions or explaining what you need can be hindered by shyness.

Thus, you need to grab each opportunity to be with people and have a go at practicing your mingling and conversational skills. If you get invited to a party or a gathering, go out and have fun. Do not let your insecurities get the better of you and think of it as a chance to overcome your shyness. Practice your conversational skills by making small talk with the people that you often encounter at work or in the neighborhood. This way, you can slowly but surely climb your way towards overcoming your shyness.

3. To make yourself feel comfortable when in the company of others, try to think of ways on how to make them feel comfortable in return.

Putting yourself in another person’s shoes is a great way of keeping a balanced view of any situation. If you are the shy party in a mutual conversation, think of how you will look like in the view of the person that you are speaking with.

If a person looks uncomfortable or agitated during the conversation, wouldn’t you feel sorry or uncomfortable yourself? On the other hand, if you try to look comfortable and manage to relax yourself by trying to make small talk when in the company of others – you can at least make them feel good enough to have a casual conversation with you.

By keeping in mind these three easy-to-follow shyness tips, you can be on your way towards overcoming shyness and enhance your social and professional relationship with other people.

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