Communication Skills Power

To be able to communicate verbally, even if that “verbal” is with sign language for people who are hearing impaired, is vitally important. Without good verbal communication skill, getting by in life would be virtually impossible. Every day, in so many ways, we use those skills.

When you go into work, verbal skills are really needed. To talk on the phone with clients, to give orders to your subordinates, or to deal with your boss; you have to speak to them. And, just talking is not enough. If you are trying to get a raise from your boss, or to explain a mistake, you need to speak eloquently and convincingly. When dealing with your staff, sometime you have to give encouragement, and other times you have to give them a verbal kick to motivate them.

If you are trying to win a new client for the firm, you have to be able to show them what your company has to offer. Now, sometimes visual aids help, but what if you are on the phone? Then, it can be merely the strength of your voice and the power of your arguments that wins them over. Conversely, if you speak with a current client who is unhappy, then your voice, your tone, and your words are all that stands between them going or staying. Your verbal communication skill will really need to be at peak performance then.

In a crisis, often our words are all we have. If you should (perish the thought) find yourself on a wrecked train or plane, and people are screaming and upset; your words may be the only thing that can calm them enough for you all to escape. There is that old saying: “Freedom of speech does not mean you are free to scream ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater”. Well, think about it, even if the building really is on fire, should you scream that out? Carefully chosen words can help people to stay calm and get out safely.

Along those same lines, there are legal matters. Still today we have the tradition, coming down to us from the Middle Ages, of going to court for a hearing. We swear to tell the truth, and give testimony. If you should find yourself in court on a legal matter, whether it be a civil suit or a criminal trial, the power of your words alone will be all you have. Trying to convince a jury that you are innocent by merely screaming: “I didn���t do it, I didn���t do it!” over and over is not going to carry much weight. You must speak clearly and succinctly, and guide them to see the truth of your words. It was with good reason that public speaking and rhetoric were part of the classic education system.

In our personal lives, verbal communication skill is a vital means of sustaining relationships. You have to be able to talk to those you love and care about. Without that, your relationships will wither and die. How many times have you seen couple who seem to argue about everything: politics, religion, movies, you name it? Yet, they stay together. Agreeing on things is not the key to a strong relationship.

It is mutual respect and communication. So long as you can talk, so long as the lines of communication stay open, your relationship has a chance of staying alive. The same goes for family members. How many brothers / sisters / cousins etc. are you on good relations with? Odds are, it is the ones you talk to the most. Again, even if you do not agree on things, if you at least talk, the relationship will be all the stronger for it. You need good verbal communication skill for that.

In our everyday lives, we communicate all the time with the people we encounter. We talk to co-workers, we interact with our bosses and the people who hire us. We talk to our spouse and loved ones. So, it’s no wonder that verbal communication skill is important to us.

Every day, in many ways, we communicate with other people. Sometimes it is verbally, other times it is through the written word, and we even do it non-verbally through what we call body language. For that matter, we can use images to communicate, and even a scent can carry a message. If we expect to get our point, our message, our meaning across, it is important that we have good communication skills.

In order to work in an office, function at school or interact with people in any situation, communication is needed. Let us say that you are an engineer, and you have designed a new two hundred unit residential development. Well, to get approval to build that project, there are forms to fill out and permits to obtain.

You will need to fill in applications and probably write some sort of report to outline exactly what you intend to do. Maybe there is a swamp nearby, a beautiful pristine wetland that is home to endangered animals. If that’s the case, people may protest your project; you may have to go before a city council or into court to argue that you should be allowed to build it. To do so, you will need to write up a clear, concise and easy to read report explaining every aspect of the development.

If a hearing is held, then you will probably have to get up in front of a crowd of people - some of them hostile - and verbally explain what you are planning, and answer questions. If you have pictures or computer graphics, and can show that your project will not hurt the environment, you will have a good chance of being approved.

On the other hand, perhaps you are engaged in something more mundane, like buying a car, or maybe a house. You will need to present yourself as speaking clearly, knowledgeably and with confidence. Here is where the ability to judge a person’s attitude comes in very handy. If you are negotiating with a car salesperson, or a realtor or homeowner, and you ask a question that is something they do not want to answer, they may give off a subtle signal. A slight twitch of the eyebrow or the corner of their mouth; maybe they look down before answering. It can be any one of a number of things. The point is, it can be a signal to you that something is not as it seems.

On the flip side, if you are the salesperson, you will want to be able to speak or communicate in a way that answers a question, but does not leave you open to suspicion. A classic example is the old question about a house: “Does the roof leak?” And you reply: “Only when it rains”. That kind of answer will sink your efforts at a sale. So, you have to learn how to put a positive spin on what you say or write. A house is not:”in the city,” it is: “conveniently located to the vibrant downtown district.”

When dealing with issues in your personal life, good communication is vital. If you are in a relationship with someone, communication is what keeps the relationship alive! More important than agreeing on everything is just the fact that you can talk, write, even IM each other and respect each other’s views. As a relationship deepens and expands, children may come into the picture. Once you are a parent, you face the difficult task of (eventually) trying to communicate with a teenager. Shudder! A sub-species of humans that often communicates via grunts and head shakes - at least to adults.

If you are intent on convincing your son / daughter to not smoke, not do drugs, not drink etc. then very good communication skills are vital. And, you cannot only use the verbal skills. Teenagers are experts are tuning their parents’ voices out. They have been hearing them since childhood, they can do it. You want to keep your teen from drinking and driving, talking is not enough. A pile of newspaper articles showing the horrid aftermaths of many such instances speaks volumes. There is the old saying: “A picture paints a thousand words.” Keep that one in mind, especially in dealing with teens on many issues.

So, whether in work, in your dealings with life, or in your personal life; the importance of communications skills cannot be underestimated.

Effective interpersonal communication creates a feeling of community and intimacy where everyone’s contributions are valued. It leads to proper understanding, sometimes on a deep level, depending upon the circumstances of the communication. To have really effective interpersonal communication you need to make use of a set of skills and knowledge and to evaluate these and update your communication skills from time to time.

Interpersonal communication has a dual purpose of presentation and representation. Representation is the basic words we use and the meaning we portray; people sometimes tend to think that this is all there is to communication and they forget that how they present their message defines them and their relationships with others too.

It is in this latter purpose of communication (presentation) that misunderstandings can arise. This happens when people fail to understand the message being conveyed, or when people fail to make their audience understand; both sides of this are important as the people in a conversation all carry joint responsibility in uncovering and understanding the true meaning of a communication.

Some useful skills for making sure you have really effective interpersonal communication are:

1. Refer to your listener by name. This makes people feel valued and appreciated; it also ensures that they know that you are talking specifically to them; it alerts them to that fact and encourages them to concentrate upon your message. If they are listening more closely to you, you are more likely to be understood.

2. Adapt your message to your listener(s). The message may have to be conveyed differently according to the role and status of the listener, as well as their level of understanding. Different parts of your message will hold special importance for certain groups of people so you may want to adapt your message so that these things are emphasized for a particular group. Making your message relevant to your audience is just the hook you will need to make people start listening to you.

3. The call to action may differ according to who your audience members are, because everyone has different responsibilities. If you have something that you want your audience to do after listening to you, be explicit about this; make it clear what you want them to do, without being too dictatorial about it.

4. Make sure you include all the information that is necessary in order to make yourself and your message understood. If you can repeat your message and illustrate it in different ways, so much the better, as members of your audience will all understand things in different ways.

5. Avoid jumping to early conclusions. Listen to the whole message first if you are not the one doing the main talking. If you think you have the idea of the conversation very early on, often you will find that you will switch off or at least not listen so attentively to the rest of the message and this is one area where mistakes are often made.

6. Be aware of any assumptions you are making; are they correct? Will your audience understand your assumptions or do you need to communicate to them too, for effective communication? You should always try to judge how you are being interpreted by others too. Ask questions and mirror back what people seem to be saying to you, paraphrased, so that you can check that you have the correct understanding. This also shows that you care about how the other person is feeling; they will warm to you and you will ease communication with them.

7. You should ‘own’ your message, using terms such as ‘I’ and ‘my’; this makes your communication sound more genuine and sincere.

8. You should learn to express your feelings as that can make them clearer to you as well as to other people.

If you keep in mind these few tips and you try to practice them in your interactions with other people, you will see that you soon develop much more effective interpersonal communication, both as a speaker and a listener.