Communication Skills Power

Within the first thirty seconds of meeting someone for the first time, we make many observations of which we translate into judgments about that person we are meeting.  Every human being does this. We do this naturally and automatically with little, if any, real awareness of this process. This means that if we all do it, those we come into contact with are observing and making judgments about us, like we are them.  If you happen to demonstrate a disliking attitude this information will present itself within those few first moments, in most interactions.

For many of us, what this means is that we must know how we come across to people when first meeting them. If we come across in a positive way people we will attracted people to us because, as in the law of physics proves, positive attracts and negative repels. If you want to show people you like them present your positive self.

To present your positive self requires you to pay attention to how and what verbal and non-verbal communications you use. The messages you send through both of these types of communications says a lot about your desire to like the person you are meeting for the first time. If you send any negative messages, within those first seconds, you may never get the chance to show them that you like them. Remember, people will make judgments about you within about the first thirty seconds of meeting you, like you will them. Two of those first evaluations each of you will make is: “Do I like this person?” and “Does this person like me?”

Whenever showing people you like them it’s important to look like you are friendly. Appearing friendly can mean different things to different people, but most of us respond well to a smile and some form of a “how are you?”, no matter who we are. Most of us also respond to other positive statements as well, especially about things that relate directly to us. We all enjoy the feeling of appreciation. Compliments, mixed with the appropriate body-language, about someone’s appearance, for example, can send a message of liking something about that person.

One of the quickest ways to let someone know you are not interested in them is to make “me” statements. Avoid any form of a “me” statement, within those first few moments of an interaction because they can send the message that the other person is not the center of your interests. If the other person perceives that they are not the center of your interests they could possibly think that you don’t like them. Additionally, if you are talking about you it will be impossible to show the other person that you like them.

When you want to show someone you like them focus on them. Become interested in what they are saying or even doing. Attentively listen to them as they speak and become involved with their conversation. As they talk, paraphrase and ask them pertinent questions regarding what they are saying. If they are doing something that looks like they could use some help doing, offer to help them. Both listening and helping are other ways to show people you like them.

The demonstration that we like someone can also be expressed in our concern for them. Most people like it when another person cares about them. Asking the person, you’ve seen in the store every morning for the past week, about their family or work are examples of concern for that person.  The act of concern shows people you like them.

Everyone likes compliments, it doesn’t matter who you are.  We all enjoy it when someone notices us and makes a positive statement to us, or another, about what they saw about us.  We all like to be noticed for our good qualities, no matter what they might be. When we compliment someone we are expressing admiration, affection, and or respect, perhaps all three for something about that person.

This being the case it should make logical sense that if you want to cause someone to even begin to bond with you, giving them a compliment is about the best place to start.  First and foremost, when we compliment someone we are sending them a message about them, something positive we see in them.  Positive observations by others lift us up and this can have a bonding effect.

You know how good it makes you feel when someone compliments you. You will have experienced the sensation of pleasure that you get from a compliment at one time or other in your life. But all too often people fail to recognize how good one might feel from our compliment to them, even in the knowledge of how good compliments make us feel.

Compliments can affect everyone involved, including yourself, in a positive way. For example, we all have things going on in our lives that make things look not as bright as we might like. A compliment from another person could help you put things into a more realistic picture, depending on the coincidence of the compliment. Now, turn that scenario around If your compliment helps a person to see things more realistically you have just started creating a bond.  You will have helped them see that good things still exist, even if things look bleak to them right now.

Complimenting another person almost always generates nice responses from those we are complimenting. Those nice responses often help open the door to further conversation with that person, which allows you to get to know that person more. In other words, complimenting helps you begin to develop bonds with others.

Complimentary responses will be bonding in nature, nearly every time. You will hear it, see it, and feel it in those responses you receive from those you are complimenting. Most of us demonstrate a positive response when we are complimented. It’s in most of our natures to reciprocate kindness with kindness. And compliments, because they are an expression of kindness, can be very bonding.

How do you respond when someone compliments you? Or how about when, for example, you’re having a bad day and someone compliments you? In both examples, most of us would respond in a positive way because of how good that person made us feel. Those positive feelings you experienced are the very ones others will experience when you compliment them.  Moreover, because of that feeling bonds do begin to develop, even slightly, with the one complimenting us.

Compliments draw people toward you. Compliments are like magnets of attraction, especially when said at the right time. Compliments are positive connections with another person. When you compliment someone you are saying, “I like you.”

Giving compliments brings you out of yourself, if they are genuine compliments, because it requires you to be observant of those around you. Additionally, when you are observant of those around you it becomes much easier to make compliments about them. And the more often you are able to make those compliments the more opportunities you have of creating a bond, with everyone around you. Make a compliment to someone today!

Successful people are not born; they are made. They are made from their own efforts: efforts directed toward becoming successful. They may choose to put a lot of effort into a specific area, but successful people tend to have success in several aspects of their lives.  They pursue their goals, step by step, and complete those goals, regardless of the detours life might take them on. Successful people have also learned the skills needed to effectively communicate with all those they come into contact with. And believe it not, there are common communication traits that all successful people use in their daily interactions with others. Because they are common you can integrate them into your style of communications to become more effective and successful.

The first communication skill that every successful person has is the ability to listen.  Listening is not about just nodding your head in understanding while the other person is talking. No, true listening requires that you maintain eye contact with the one you are listening to. Make you’re your eyes are not looking side to side or over the other’s shoulder, but instead are focused on the eyes and face of the person you are talking with.  The successful person does this with the intention of understanding exactly what the other person has to say. When you really listen to people, not only do you get to know them, but they might provide you with some information to help you farther along toward future success.

As the other person is speaking the successful person will, during the other person’s pauses, paraphrase what he has heard. Paraphrasing is repeating, to the one you’re communicating with, what you just heard them say, but in your own words. Paraphrasing clarifies that you understand what the other person means. This is engaging and interactive communication skill and every successful person uses it.

In addition to the ability to listen, successful people possess excellent non-verbal communications, or body language. As the successful person is communicating with another, their posture is relaxed. Their hands are free, maybe at his side, but seldom kept in their pockets. Their hands or arms are also not tightly wrapped around each other in a closed gesture, nor do they scratch their head, arms or face while they are either listening or talking. All those things make the other person nervous.

Successful people have a posture which is erect, but yet relaxed. They don’t stand stiffly, nor do slouch over while either standing or sitting. In a sitting position his legs can be crossed or comfortably side-by-side. The successful person never toe-taps or bounces their knee. They are calm and patient and this is the image they want to project.

The tone of voice of the successful person is always even.  Also, successful people are very careful in the words they choose to express themselves; they take their time as they speak so as not to use wrong or inappropriate language. The successful person has a good command of language and knows how to use it effectively.

Successful people don’t assume they know everything and therefore are very inquisitive, even when communicating with others. This means they ask questions, truly interacting with others. They know that others possess knowledge too.  Asking questions educates them, and successful people know the value of being educated. It helps them make better decisions and choices in their life and work.

There is one key factor about the successful person that comes out in all their behaviors and communications with others. The key factor is, successful people seek more success.  This is the thinking of most successful people; they use the above strategies to learn more to build on their successes and achieve more.