Communication Skills Power

Quality conversations are a necessary part of relationships, especially between family and friends. Conversations with those we care about can help us learn more about them and their lives. It also gives them a chance to get to know us better.

Moreover, conversations with our loved ones can provide us the opportunity to become more involved in their daily lives and activities, thus helping us build stronger bonds with them. This is especially important for the relational development with our spouses and children.

For many families dinner time is more than just a time to eat. It is also a time where family members can come together and talk about their daily experiences. However, table talk can be easier said than done for some families.

The key to establishing a conversation with a family member is to ask engaging questions and to listen to what the other is saying. For example, you might ask a child, “teach us something you learned today that we might not know.”

Many children enjoy this kind of opportunity because they want to share with their parents the things they learned. And the more the parent listens with genuine interest the more engaged the child might become.

Most of us have aunts and uncles, and all of us have a grandma and a grandpa. These family members, especially grandma and grandpa enjoy sharing parts of their lives with us. The older members of our families have so much experience to share with the younger ones and generally are more than willing to do so.

A good easy conversation starter for grandma or grandpa might be, “What was growing up like for you?” This is an especially good question for a younger person to ask.

Aunts and uncles also like to share parts of their lives with other family members. If you have a aunt or uncle that means your mom or dad was their sibling. This being the case that means your aunt and uncle probably has some wild, crazy, and maybe even funny stories to tell about their experiences with your mom and dad.

No matter how old you are an easy conversation starter might be something like, “So, what was your brother (or sister) like when you two were growing up?”

Most everyone likes talking about their experiences with their siblings. And through listening to those experiences you also learn more about your aunt or uncle, as well as their brother or sister.

Starting a conversation with a friend can be just as easy as starting a conversation with a family member, although you might not start it in the same way. We generally know family members much more intimately than we do our friends. But this is the whole point of having a conversation with our friends – to get to know them better.

If you have a friend who has a girlfriend or boyfriend, an easy conversation starter might be,  “What is the (boyfriend or girlfriend) like?” Most friends who are involved in an intimate relationship with someone want, and sometimes even need, to share that part of their life with you, especially if they trust you.

Easy conversation starters with family and friends are easier to come up with than most of think. First and foremost, we already have an established relationship with these people.

Even if the conversation starter you choose to use is not something your friend or family member wishes to discuss with you, it’s okay. The relational bond will remain because you are their friend or a part of their family.

If you want to be successful in life you need to communicate effectively. Effective communications can help you in work, in all of your relationships with family and friends, as well as socially. There are many aspects to communications all of which, combined together, can make you successful in life.

Many of our communications skills are learned and because they are learned we can change, modify, and develop them toward producing more success in our lives.

Speaking is by far the most important communication tool we possess, whether that is by sign language or verbally. Speaking is communications in its purest form.

The language we use and our tone of voice puts a flavor of sorts on what we are saying. Therefore, one secret to success in life is to pay attention to your choice of words when communicating with others. Use the appropriate words for the appropriate environment.

Tone of voice is also an important part of our verbal communications in that our tone emotionally emphasizes our words. All people are affected by another person’s tone of  voice. It is a natural part of human nature and we use it to convey the emotional part of our thoughts.

As we grow up we learn that certain tones can create certain reactions and we can use these tones to our advantage or misuse them to our disadvantage.  Each tone has a purpose in our verbal communications. Thus, you can see that it’s important to apply the right tone to the right environment or situation if you want success in your life.

Body language is another communication tool we use when we interact with others. It sends other messages that may not necessarily be conveyed in our words, much like our tone of voice. Our body language can tell people about the  level of our self-confidence and express a variety of emotions, and can even signal personality traits.

How you sit, stand, or what you do with your hands impacts the overall message the other person receives when communicating with you.

Body language also includes facial expressions. Our facial expression can either attract people to us or cause them to avoid us. All human beings have the innate ability to read facial expressions with some degree of accuracy and do react to it.

Picture yourself walking down the sidewalk and passing someone with a mean scowl on their face. Would you introduce yourself to that person or would you be more apt to avoid them? Your facial expression can tell someone if you are approachable or unapproachable.

Another very important communication secret is our behavior. Yes, our behavior is a form of communications and says volumes about who we are. Our behavior can say what our  character is like, how honest we are, how much we care, and more. If our behavior is consistently poor we can’t expect much success in life. However, if our behavior is fairly  good we can expect more successes than failures. The good thing about our behavior is that most of it is changeable with some introspection and determination.

As you might see with the examples we have looked at above, it is actually a combination of things that make up how we communicate to others, which in turn can affect our success in life. You might also see that to have success in life we need others. This is exactly why how we communicate with them has a direct bearing on our own success in life.

Too often, people put their relationship aside and do not give it the attention it deserves. Our world has become so high-tech and high speed; we are all rushing around, bound and determined to get things done. The result is, we do more things, but get less done. A relationship, like any other part of your life, needs attention in order for it to grow, develop and survive.

When trying to decide what issues you need to focus on in order to keep a relationship healthy, the first needs to be communication. You have to be able to talk; even if you do not agree about things. There is an old saying about how opposites attract. Yet, there is another one that says oil and water can not mix. So, which one is right? Well, they both are. Opposites can attract, and get along, so long as they can talk.

Another important issue is mutual respect. When you are together, you need to be aware of your partner’s feelings and do not insult or demean them in front of others. Often in films today you will see a husband made the butt of jokes in front of friends, family, and even the children. This is fine for a comedy movie, but not real life. If you run your partner down in front of people, you will only end up hurting them. Is that truly what you want? And ask yourself this: how long will they put up with it? There is that all saying, the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is a pretty good rule to live by.

Next, there is the matter of shared responsibilities. If you or your partner are a stay at home person, either to only take care of the home, or also young children, that is one thing. But, these days, most couples both work. So, you should talk about how you will share the household chores.

It needs to be fair and flexible. Maybe you do not mind loading the dishwasher, but hate unloading it. So long as you can divide this issues up in a fair manner, you can work things out where one of you does not feel put upon.

Of course, there is always the issue of sex. Even today, many people are a little embarrassed to talk about it; even with their partner. This is especially true if you have a particular fantasy, but you should still strive to talk about such things. A good way to start is by asking them if they have some fantasy they would like to try, and then be open to doing it. If he (or she) wants you to wear a sexy outfit, try it! If they saw a movie and want to try something along those lines, give it a go. So long as something is not illegal, there is nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life.

Then there is the issue of compromise. This can perhaps be the most powerful means of improving a relationship. After all, there is no guarantee that you will agree on everything. Nothing says you have to be in perfect sync’ on every issue. Yet, if you can agree to disagree, and then find the means of working through it, this will lead to a healthy relationship: compromise is a  simple act, yet a powerful one.