Monthly Archives: August 2008

What To Say When You Meet New People: The 11 Secrets To Success

In an average day, you are going to meet a great many new people. Some of them might seem of no value to your life – a waitress, a delivery man, and so forth. Yet, never underestimate the value of every individual.

Remember, the art of networking can lead to you achieving greatness. With that in mind, let’s look at what you should say and talk about when you meet someone for the first time.

1. Speak without speaking. Your physical appearance and demeanor will say more to people about who you are and what you think of them than any initial greeting. So, keep your body clean, your appearance neat, and dress nicely.

2. A good first line. Don’t start off with something like: “Hey, whats up?” Unless you’re talking to a bunch of excited teenagers at a Britney Spears concert; that is not how you address someone. A proper phrase along the lines of: “How do you do?” or “It’s a pleasure to meet you” is appropriate.

3. Eyes and hand. You want to connect with someone at once. So, look them straight in the eye, and offer them your hand. A firm hand shake that isn’t brief, and yet isn’t too long either; and don’t crush their hand. That’s something a professional wrestler does to intimidate an opponent; not what you do when you want to make a good first impression.

4. Once the initial meeting is over, follow up by asking for their name, and make a point of remembering it. Nothing is better at pleasing someone than a person they just met remembering their name.

5. Body language. You want people to feel comfortable when they are talking to you. So, stand up straight, maintain good eye contact – without being domineering, and pay close attention to what they say.

6. Be courteous and speak in a clear, polite tone. If you are on a job interview, let the interviewer ask the first question. After all, you’re after a job from them; time is money, and they’re busy. So, let them control the situation. Now, at some point, they’re going to ask you if you have any questions. That leads to the next point.

7. Be ready to participate in the conversation. Again, if you’re on a job interview, check out the company, and have some questions ready to ask. If you’re in a social setting or on a date, be ready to ask the other person questions about them and their life; or be able to talk about yourself and what you like.

8. Pay attention to what’s going on. If your eyes glaze over and you’re not engaged in what’s going on, people will not want to have anything to do with you. So, concentrate on what they’re talking about.

9. Select the right things to say. This is a function of the type of conversation you’re involved in: interview, date, a dinner party, and so forth. After the initial meeting, you want to either talk about something interesting – a story you know, a movie you’ve seen etc. or ask the other person some questions.

10. Keep the conversation balanced. On the one hand, you do not want the other person to have to do all the talking; on the other hand, it’s impolite for you do monopolize the conversation. So, allow the other person (people) to talk, and then you “chime in” with a contribution.

11. Finally, remember the Golden Rule; treat people as you want them to treat you. And remember, no one is “beneath” you. Treating people decently is a true sign of having good manners.

It’s said that first impressions are lasting impressions. So stay focused when meeting new people, and speak clearly. By staying neat, clean, and showing proper respect to others, you will make an excellent impression on them. Follow that up by being engaging in conversation, and you’ll win new friends and influence people.

9 Great Ways To Deal with Nerves When Meeting People

Everyone suffers with that nervous feeling whilst meeting someone new; it’s a perfectly normal feeling. It is human nature to get anxious whilst facing the first introduction, that face to face meeting of a stranger.

So just why do we get nervous? Because we are trying to impress! No-one likes rejection. The feeling of rejection from a stranger is what makes us so nervous in the first place!

Below are some tips to help you push those nerves to the side:

1. Take a friend with you.

The thought of having to walk into a room and meet new people can be enough to make you vomit! Try to avoid the nerves by taking along a friend along with you. That way you are not alone and even if the person that you’re meeting turns out to be a total loser, you have the back up of a friend!

2.Yoga

Yes I know what you’re thinking! , all that bendy stretchy stuff is nonsense; well you couldn’t have been further from the truth! Yoga is a great way to relax your nerves, after exercising you will feel confident enough to meet new faces.

3. Remember they are only human!

It’s very easy to forget that the people that you are going to meet are really just human; there is absolutely no need to start to panic and worry about the way they will perceive you. When you panic that’s when things start to take a downhill slide.

4. Relax

When you are not feeling relaxed then your brain can’t function properly, you start to forget things and begin to clam up inside.

5. Make a list

I don’t mean turn into a nerd! However, if you know in advance that you have an appointment with someone new. If there’s the slightest chance that you will start to get nervous and you need to ask questions, simply jot them down on a piece of paper!

This will help wave goodbye to those nerves.  It’s great to do this when going to a job interview, perhaps a doctor or midwife appointment.

6. Treat yourself to a new outfit

New clothes and a new image mean a new opinion on things; you will feel confident and efficient with your new image.

If you look good on the outside then you are planting the seeds for success on the inside! You will be surprised what a new outfit can do for you.

7. Be yourself

A common problem whilst meeting new people is that we tend to want to impress a little too much. An example would be a man trying to impress a woman; he might go a little overboard and try to make the image a little too big!

If you don’t be yourself and stick to your values, then the person that you’re meeting will ever know the true you. Don’t be fake it doesn’t get you anywhere in life. You will impress today and tomorrow will look like a total fool when the truth comes out.

8. Remember that you can’t impress every one

Although you would love to it simply is not realistic to think that everyone can be impressed. Life is full of ups and downs; it’s not the end of the world if someone doesn’t like you.

9. Positive thinking

If you are feeling positive and don’t allow negativity to kick in then you won’t have the, what if and buts. Positive thinking is the way to go!

Life is short and you really can’t afford to waste time thinking about how others perceive you. If you are happy then that’s all that matters! People don’t bite; meeting new people is a part of life that you have to get used to.

How To Keep A Conversation Going – The 10 Simple Steps

The art of conversation really is a wonderful skill; the simple skills to keep a conversation alive can be the deciding factor to how successful you are going to be.

Starting a conversation and maintaining a conversation really are two separate factors. As with anything there is a start, middle and an end.

Below are some tips that will help you to keep any conversation alive:

1. Don’t be a conversational bully. Avoid making people feel as if they are forced to listen to what you have to say.  Shouting and raising your voice won’t get you listened to.  It will just frustrate you and the other party involved.

2. Learn the difference between conversation and speech.  These are 2 very simple things to get mixed up on, whilst giving a speech you are being listened to. When one is having a conversation then 2 parties are involved! A conversation is word exchanges between 2 or more people.

3. Don’t shy away from phone calls. A lot of people shy away from phone calls don’t hide when the phone rings its great practice for talking face to face.

4. Questions are the key.  Yes keep the conversation a drift and flowing with questions! Questions are excellent for making the conversation continue. Even if you are really fed with the topics just act as if you are interested by generating questions.

Some excellent questions for keeping the conversation afloat are:

Who?

What?

Where?

Why?

When?

How?

Really?

Is it?

Do you like…?

These suggestions might seem rather random; however try them out in a test run and see the results.

5. Don’t be boring. If you are on a date and need to impress, then being boring is a big no-no! You won’t even know when you’re boring the other party. Try to avoid subjects that are all about you: how you are good because you did something etc.

6. Perhaps you will feel tempted to brag or turn the tables and start talking about you ex girlfriend or boyfriend. On a date this is a crime; you really can’t do this.

7. Talk about the other person. A great way to keep the conversation going is to talk about the person that you are talking to! Pay an interest into their upbringing, social values, and way of life. If you show interest to the other person then the conversation will never die!

8. Be interested but don’t be nosy. Know your limits, gossiping and extracting information from people with nosy behaviour is extremely frustrating. You most certainly won’t be getting a fan club by behaving in this manner. People won’t want to merge in conversation with you again. Nosiness and gossiping is the final wave to a healthy conversation flow.

9. Don’t pretend. Learn when the subject of conversation isn’t something that you’re comfortable or familiar with then politely change the subject; pretending that you are interested in something and know about that thing, is a recipe for failure.

10. Be lively. Talk with energy and incorporate fresh new topics to the conversation. Talk about recent news flashes, what’s happening in the world.  For example if you start a conversation on the topic of politics, it’s sure not to end anytime soon!

You should feel privileged with the gift of talking. Don’t build up barriers and unnecessary obstacles to stop you from words of conversation. If you follow the above tips then you will notice improvements in no time at all. Conversation should be fun, to interact with people and to engage in talk is a way of life. Once you can talk and keep a conversation going, you can be sure that you will be able to maintain good relations with friend and relatives.