Monthly Archives: April 2010

How to Deal with Loud People

In life, you’re going to find that there are some people who are just plain loud; their volume control seems to be stuck on maximum. So, how to deal with loud people? Here are a few ideas.

1. Talk to them

Depending on the person, you might be able to just talk to them and resolve the issue. Maybe they do not know that they are being loud, or maybe they are doing it as a means of compensating for something.

Do they feel that they are being ignored, do they have insecurity issues that need to be dealt with? Maybe they feel threatened by you, which can be a common problem in an office or business setting.

By talking, you may get to the root of the problem and thus deal with it.

2. Talk to a third party or someone higher up

If you are unable to resolve the issue with the person, then talk to someone above them. This can be a supervisor at work, a parent or a friend. It is possible that the loud person will listen to the other person, particularly if you are in a business situation and that person is the loud person’s boss.

3. Drown them out

When all else fails, you can make use of an iPod or other musical device to prevent the loud person from bothering you.

4. Document your efforts

When it comes to how to deal with loud people who are your neighbors, that is where you have to be cautious. These days, people can be upset and even enraged over the littlest of things. So, there are a series of things you should do when confronting a loud neighbor.

First, follow step one: go talk to them, and try to be calm and friendly about the situation. If you come across as confrontational, you will never get anywhere with them. If things go well, great. No matter how things go, once you get home, write up your notes on the meeting, include the date, and put them in a file.

Next, if the loudness keeps being a problem, write a letter to the neighbor. Again, do not write a mean or nasty letter; keep it clear and simple and not insulting.

After that, if the problem continues, keep a diary of each incident. Write down everything: date, time, how long the loud noises went on, and make note of any witnesses to the incident. Use all of this information for the next step.

5. Try mediation

Make use of a neutral third party: maybe another neighbor, a mutual friend, a local minister or social worker. Sit down with them and try to negotiate a resolution to the problem. If that doesn’t do it, move on to step six.

6. Contact the authorities

Many communities have rules that cover noise levels; granted, they usually only apply to nighttime – after a certain hour – but it could be a start. Check with your local law enforcement to see what the laws are, and what your options are in reporting your neighbors for making too much noise.

7. File a lawsuit

Granted, this is going to extremes, but sometimes it is all you can do. You may or may not need a lawyer, but you can file suit in court against the people who are too loud. This is where all of your documentation will come in handy; so be sure to keep track of all of your efforts up to this point.

As you can see, there are numerous methods for how to deal with loud people. So, assess the situation, and then select the way best suited to you and them.

How to Deal with Impossible People

At first, the issue of how to deal with impossible people might sound, well, impossible! But the simple fact of the matter is that no one is impossible. It is all a matter of how you approach them.

1. Get the problem in perspective

When you think that someone is impossible, what you are saying is that they really annoy you. Once you appreciate that fact, you can begin to get the problem in perspective. They may annoy you a lot, but the situation is not impossible to deal with. Realizing that you have some power over the situation and your reactions to it can often calm you down enough to move on to step two in dealing with seemingly impossible people.

2. What is it that annoys you about them?

If you can rationalize what it is that annoys you about the person you find difficult to handle, you can begin to deal with it. Given some time and space to think, you will be able to think about what is annoying you, without feeling so emotionally upset about it. That is the time to move on to point number 3.

3. Talk to the person

You can´t hope to be able to get on better with someone you find impossible without talking to him. But that talk needs to wait until you can be calm about it. When you feel calm, talk to the person privately or maybe with a neutral third person there. Let him know, calmly and clearly, what it is that they are doing that annoys you. Do not get angry and do not keep going on about the point. Just tell them what upsets you and how it makes you feel. For instance: “it makes me feel useless when you ask me to do something but then just take over and do it yourself”.

4. Listen

Once you have had your say about what you find difficult to deal with in the other person, give them the right to reply. The only way to really deal with impossible people constructively is to understand their point of view. Therefore, you need to listen respectfully to how they view the situation. This can be quite enlightening if you really listen. This can show the way forward in how to deal with them.

5. Discuss a compromise

Hopefully, if you have had a calm, rational time where you have stated what annoys you, and you have listened to what the other person has to say on the matter, you will be able to see a way forward. Try to find a solution which gives you both respect and which accepts something of what you both want.

6. See the good in everyone

If you approach your interactions calmly and in good humor, everyone has good points to their character, no matter how impossible they may seem at first. Acknowledging a person`s good points may actually help them become less impossible as they ease off if they feel appreciated.

For instance, a person may seem impossibly domineering, but this may be motivated by their own insecurities. So, you could say to them, “I think it is great how well organized you are with this party; I wonder how I could help?”

This may give them a hint that they have been somewhat domineering. Also, it shows them that you appreciate what they are doing and that may boost their confidence enough to make them let go of the reins a little and allow you to participate.

7. If all else fails make an exit

You may have to cut the impossible person out of your life. If they are not important to you, you may decide that they are not worth the effort to reach an understanding with them. However, you may miss out on something very valuable by not getting to know them better.

So, before you decide to cut someone out of your life, do all you can to learn how to deal with impossible people. You will be a stronger, happier person for it, and you will perhaps learn a lot about yourself and other people.