Want to be the spark that ignites any conversation? Want the ultimate conversation starter tips?
Because so much of the teaching on communication skills tends to focus on what to say and when to say it we can easily overlook what is perhaps much more important. Yes, there is a critical element that drives all conversation and if you neglect it your interactions will often be flat and dull.
I am talking of course about the energy and enthusiasm you bring to the conversation. When you glow with energy and warmth people will gravitate to you. When you make people feel good they want to get to know you, they want to talk to you and they can`t help been fascinated by you.
A high energy individual can light up a room to such a degree that what he says is of secondary interest to the group. That energetic buzz gives everyone a lift and it drives the dynamics of the conversation. Its almost like having a celebrity in your peer group.
And what are the implications for you?
To become a great conversationalist pay attention to your physical and emotional energy levels. Before a big social event prepare so that on the big day you will be refreshed, fit and healthy. And for day to day interactions take better care of yourself so that your diet and lifestyle gives you energy and vitality. That way you`ll have the emotional juice to bounce into action when you deal with people.
Knowing all the best conversation topics will help you talk to anyone you meet but having high energy will boost your confidence and enthusiasm so that you can approach more people, drive the conversations and be the one others want to meet.
On the other hand when we are tired in a stressful situation our self-confidence can evaporate when we need it most. Meeting people then becomes a difficult and tense experience that we want to avoid.
What can you do to have an energetic glow in any conversation?
1. Talk to an expert and redesign your diet so that it gives you energy and vitality rather than only pleasure. Diet is a complex matter so do your research and follow the guidance of an expert with a successful track record.
2. Take time each day for recuperation and reflection. The busier we get the more important it is to have time to pause. Even 10 minutes two or three times a day alone and in silence will help you to refocus, recharge and notice what you are doing rather than rushing around on autopilot.
3. Make it a priority to do more of what you love each day. Our interests can bring us a lot of happiness and joy. Maybe you love listening to certain kinds of music but never have a chance to listen.
Or maybe you have a hobby you have always loved but again you never have the time anymore.
Do your best to fit these passion activities into your day and week even if it is only for 30 minutes here and there. Doing what you love is energising.
These passions ignite your enthusiasm for life and cause you to have a spring in your step. This joy then transfers to all other aspects of your life. For this reason you must find even a little time for what you love. Do this and you`ll have that special glow – the quality that supercharges how you talk and interact with others.
4. Stop beating yourself up for supposed errors, failures and ommissions. Disapproving of yourself is not only destructive it serves no useful purpose. If you have made mistakes then learn from them and correct your approach.
The problem with disapproving of ourselves is that it dampens our self-esteem. We start to believe we are unlikeable and that others won`t want to talk to us unless they have to. This in turn affects how we talk – we become withdrawn, cautious and unsure of what to say.
This is a recipe for terrible communication skills and a sure fire formula for losing friends and alienating people. And it all comes back to beating yourself up.
For this reason you need to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, learn from them and move on. You are doing yourself a disservice by continuing to punish yourself without end.
As you work on accepting yourself more something interesting happens – other people become more accepting of you! It then gets easier and easier to meet people and make great conversation. Again it is a matter of energy, when you love and appreciate yourself you will be more energetic and enthusiastic because you are not holding yourself back anymore.
To wrap up, make it a priority to let your light shine. Energy and enthusiasm are like magic in bringing life to a conversation. Make it a priority to become more energetic and you`ll see a positive shift in how people interact with you.