However, if you learn an effective way to speak up for yourself at work, you can achieve a lot and get a lot of problems solved.

1. Document the facts

In the business world, it’s all about what you can prove. Very often, the truth is a matter of opinion; it doesn’t matter what you know to be true, it is what you can prove.

So, when given instructions by a boss, simply write up a short memo or even an email and send it to him/her, and put a copy in your project file. In many companies, a project can take weeks if not months to complete.

If something goes wrong with a project you are working on, it may not be discovered until much later. Will you be able to remember all the details at that later date? If you have everything documented, it will not be an issue.

2. Limit your focus

When speaking up for yourself at work, it is important to be precise on what you’re talking about. Do not ramble on and on and talk about a wide range of issues; focus on one (or a very few) subjects, and stick to them.

Very often, a boss or co-worker will try to change the subject on you, especially if you’re winning an argument. Don’t let them; keep the discussion focused on the point you are trying to make.

3. Be prepared

Yes, it’s the motto of the Boy Scouts, and it also applies to the business world. It doesn’t matter if you’re going in to ask your boss for a raise, a vacation or to defend yourself against charges of improper behavior; pull any notes you need, review them, and try to think of the kinds of questions and/or arguments you are going to be hit with.

If there are similar situations that other people have had to deal with, find out all you can about them, get as many notes as possible, talk to people, and write up all the information they give you verbally.

4. Do a trial run

To avoid getting nervous during a big business meeting, try practicing with a friend or family member. Get together in a place where you feel comfortable, so you’ll feel at ease, and then run through the meeting that you are going to attend.

After going over everything in your outline of information, ask your friend to assess how you did and insist that they be brutally honest. After all, the people in your company are more likely to be harsh than gentle.

5. Develop a thick skin

While it’s important that you stand up for yourself, it is equally important that you do not become too emotional or fly off the handle at the drop of a hat.

If a boss or co-worker criticises the way you do something, do not take it personally and promptly insult them; you will accomplish nothing. If something they say is valid, then ask them to define exactly what they think you are doing wrong, and what you can do to improve yourself.

6. Learn to speak

Some people see this as silly; of course they know how to speak. Just speaking isn’t enough; you have to be able to speak with authority. So, a speech class can help you learn to do that.

Speaking up for yourself at work is key to keeping your record clean and clear, and making sure you don’t pushed out over something that isn’t your fault. In the business world, it truly can be a dog eat dog situation; if you don’t stand up for yourself, no-one else will.

1. Get their attention

Before speaking, be sure that you have the attention of the people you want to talk to. If you start speaking before people are paying attention, they will not hear everything you say, and that is a recipe for disaster. Once people miss out on part of a statement, it can be tough for them to pay attention.

2. Select the right words

This can be important when you are talking to different audiences. How to make people listen to you when they are children is very different from getting the attention of senior citizens. If the words you use are too complex for them to understand, or you talk down to them, which can be insulting, people will not want to listen to you.

There’s also the importance of selecting words to elicit the right reaction from your audience. For instance, if you are making a political speech, you will want to pick words to sway them to your view and convince them that you are on their side.

3. Do not mumble

You need to speak clearly. Also, you need to learn how to give nuance and inflections to your voice. Taking an acting or public speaking class can help you with this, and then rehearse your speech before the actually speaking engagement. Figure out which words are important, and then put a special emphasis on those words. You do not want to talk in a flat monotone voice; doing so is a sure means of losing your audience as they will grow bored with listening to you.

4. Pace yourself

Do not speak too fast. So, learn to speak, take a breath, pause, and then speak again. As with determining which words to highlight in your speech, you also want to learn where to break a sentence or phrase.

5. Listen

Part of good talking is good listening. As you speak to a group, let them ask any questions they have, and at certain key points ask them questions about what you have told them. Not only will that make them feel like you value their opinion, but it will also give you valuable feedback and input as to how the audience feels about what you have told them. After that, you can modify and adjust your speech accordingly.

6. Eye contact

It’s important to look your listeners in the eye, yet not stare at them. Move your eyes around the audience – look one person in the eye for a short time, and then shift to someone else. If you have visual aids, look at them; draw the listeners’ attention to those aids with your eyes and gestures.

7. Your appearance

It isn’t just what you say, but how you present yourself that matters. In fine dining, it is sometimes said that the first bite is with the eyes; the same is true of making a speech. You can’t just have a great message, you also have to look and act in an appropriate manner.

If you’re messy and smell bad, you could have the greatest invention since sliced bread or the electric light bulb and few are going to want to listen to you. So, get cleaned up, dress in nice clothes, and shave (if you’re a man).

As you can see, there are many steps to how to make people listen to you. By learning and implementing some of these methods, you will be able to hold a captive audience and get your point across.

Anyway, Josh has not been paid yet and after listening to the story
it became clear how he created that result. Yes, he created this
problem, it didn`t just happen. And there is a big lesson for all
of us in what happened.

1. Be Strong, Be Definite

When Josh scheduled the appointments he was indecisive and vague
about the price he was charging for his services. That rock star
aura must have confused him! This is how he set up the problem
which has now happened.

We all need to be strong and definite when it comes to both
personal and business dealings that involve key issues. If you are
getting your car fixed you need to be firm and persistent about
establishing the price and the work involved BEFORE you hand over
the car keys.

Whenever you are vague people will tend to do what they like.
You`ll be kept waiting, be ignored and often feel like a second
class citizen. Never fail to be definite and firm in expressing
what you want and what you expect from others.

2. Be Assertive, Be Gentle

Josh procrastinated and failed to set clear parameters about what
work he would do and how much charged and when he expected
payment. He was being a nice guy and left all the details take care
of themselves.

Unfortunately the details will not take care of themselves! We need
to be assertive and take charge when it comes to important matters
in our personal and business life. Waiting until later to discuss
these issues allows small problems to get out of hand until we
don`t know if we can even solve them.

I suggest asserting yourself in a gentle manner – smile, speak
clearly and softly, and, pause for effect. Listen carefully to the other
person and remain calm and centred. The way of gentleness is the
way of power! If you stay calm and speak gently yet firmly it is very
difficult for others to push you around.

3. Be Clear About Your Intentions

Josh had been watching videos of this rock star on YouTube. He
showed me some of the videos. Understandably he was excited about
meeting this guy let alone taking him on as a client. However this
left him confused when it came to charging for his work. Maybe
having someone famous as a client was good enough.

In important discussions at home or at work we need to be crystal
clear about what we want to achieve. We must then stay focused and
keep the conversation on track regardless of distractions or
efforts by other people to change the topic of conversation.

Let`s say you are running out of time to schedule vacation time and
a trip overseas. Hold in mind your ultimate goal. The goal for the
conversation could be to mark off mutually agreed dates on the
kitchen calendar. Now, that is a highly specific goal that you can
aim for and achieve.

Avoid Getting Sidetracked

What often happens though is we get side tracked and end up talking
about vacation destinations, travel sites and insurance options.
Before you know it you`ve had a lively chat but no agreement on
vacation dates.

Be very clear about your intentions for important discussions and
you`ll see how quickly you can wrap up all that needs to be said.
Clarity is essential. This focus gives you a definiteness of
purpose that gives your words more power and authority. This in
turn causes people to pay much more attention to you and so it is
much easier to get agreement and finalise plans.

Whether you deal with rock stars or not, these three points are the
key to talking in way that causes people to take you seriously when
you need to be heard, when you need to say what needs to be said
and get people to respond.

It has been popular in recent years for schools to focus on building up the self-esteem of children. This can make many of them very assertive. Yet, often they are too assertive and they end up offending people. So, there is a fine line to walk when you want to assert yourself without coming across as mean or nasty.

Step one in doing that is to stop and think before you speak. Ask yourself, what is the point I’m trying to make. If you disagree with someone over a political view, the issue of Global Warming, or something else, making your view point known is one thing, being mean, nasty and/or insulting is quite another. Do that, and you will more than likely lose friends and not influence people in a positive way.

Next, there is the manner in which you express your view. You must not yell or shout it out. Do not interrupt other people when they are speaking. There is the old saying about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. You definitely wouldn’t like people to interrupt you, yell at you, or belittle your opinion when you are having a chat. So, you should not do the same to them.

Another point to consider – staying on the subject. If you are talking about the upcoming Presidential election, then only talk about that. People will not like being around you if you are constantly changing the subject to suit your needs. In addition, if you are engaged in a debate, and the other person makes a good point, do not retaliate by then moving on to a totally unrelated subject.

There is also the matter of choosing the right time to be assertive. When you are out with friends and you are trying to decide which movie to go to, that is not the time to be so assertive as to demand that everyone see only the movie you want to see. Ironically, looking at the military is a good way of illustrating this point. Soldiers are given orders on a daily basis. Yet, there are times when they do not agree with those orders. Still, they follow them. But, there can be times when a soldier will be given an order and know that it is not right, that it should not be followed. That is when the solder must assert himself and refuse to obey. A good soldier is not merely a robot who blindly follows orders; a good soldier is aware that there may come a day when he will have to disobey. When that day comes, he will have to have a reason for it. Well, the same is true of being assertive. It is the right thing to do; so long as you do it at the right time.

Finally, when making a point – make it and move on. If you just keep repeating the same point over and over, hoping that eventually people will accept, you are not going to win people over to your way of thinking. If you keep harping on the same thing, you are going to start sounding like some sort of conspiracy nut. That is not how you get people to listen to you. One of the key aspects of being assertive is also being realistic; understand that not every person you speak to is going to agree with you, no matter hoe persuasive you are.