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	<title>Communication Skills Power Blog &#187; Assertive Communication </title>
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		<title>How To Get People To Notice You</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-notice-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-notice-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Dec 2010 12:39:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Assertive Communication ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How To Get People To Notice You]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=755</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Whatever you are doing, either professionally or socially, if it is a good thing, it feels special if people notice you, doesn&#8217;t it? But all too often, people&#8217;s efforts go unnoticed. However, you can change all that and learn how to get people to notice you, whether that is in a social situation or in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Whatever you are doing, either professionally or socially, if it is a good thing, it feels special if people notice you, doesn&#8217;t it? But all too often, people&#8217;s efforts go unnoticed. However, you can change all that and learn how to get people to notice you, whether that is in a social situation or in the workplace.</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s begin by considering how to get people to notice you in a social setting, because most, of not all of these factors are also applicable to the workplace too. You still want to attract the attention of human beings and they work pretty much the same way whatever setting they are in, when it comes to what attracts their attention.</p>
<p>1. Smile</p>
<p>In order to attract positive attention, you need, most importantly, not to scare away that attention. Do not glare and make yourself look intimidating as people will be scared to approach you and they will ignore you in order to protect themselves.</p>
<p>So, smile. Make the smile go all the way to your eyes so that you appear genuinely happy and welcoming of attention.</p>
<p>2. Appear confident yet not arrogant</p>
<p>This is hugely important. People don&#8217;t want to involve themselves who will be needy and hard work. So, hold your head up, put your shoulders back and look like someone with a comfortable sense of self worth. This will make you like more fun to communicate with, so people will be more likely to approach you.</p>
<p>3. Don&#8217;t look desperate for company or attention</p>
<p>This can attract you the wrong kind of attention and cause you a lot of problems from people who are equally needy or who are predators willing to suck up what little self worth you have left.</p>
<p>Instead, appear comfortable in your own skin. People will perceive you then as not being high maintenance and so, ironically perhaps, they will be more likely to give you attention.</p>
<p>4. Make eye contact</p>
<p>Just scope the room until you find someone&#8217;s eyes to lock on to for a few moments. Then work that smile again. The chances are that they will want to approach you and strike up a conversation.</p>
<p>5. Speak to someone</p>
<p>If you want to be noticed, talk to the person by whom you want to be noticed. Of course, don&#8217;t creep them out by throwing yourself at them and declaring your undying love for them. But make a casual, positive comment about the event that brings you two together today.</p>
<p>These methods will all help you to get noticed for the right reasons. They work well in social and work situations, whether you are with strangers or with people that you know better. Now let&#8217;s look more specifically at how to get noticed in a work situation.</p>
<p>6. Do your job to the best of your ability</p>
<p>You don&#8217;t wan to be the one who gets noticed for constantly letting team members down, breaking the Xerox machine or constantly calling the IT department for help, do you? If you do your job well, people will start to notice and you will start to get praise. That should boost your confidence and make you feel more comfortable about attracting other attention.</p>
<p>7. Be a good team member</p>
<p>If you help other people out where you can people will be appreciative of that and will start to notice your efforts a lot more. This also works with your friends and family.</p>
<p>8. Make a positive contribution</p>
<p>You don&#8217;t need to be team leader or the most productive person in your office to make a positive contribution. Just have the confidence to speak up with your own ideas or to support the ideas of other people.</p>
<p>This will help you with the next point too:</p>
<p>9. Form allegiances</p>
<p>Often it is easier to try to get yourself noticed when you feel confident that your ideas will be met with positivity. So try out ideas on a few people at first. If they are well received, perhaps go with one of your allies to put your ideas to your manager.</p>
<p>Al of these techniques will help you with how to get people to notice you for all the right reasons, whether this is at home or at work.</p>
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		<title>How To Get People To Not Make Fun Of You</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-not-make-fun-of-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-not-make-fun-of-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Dec 2010 12:36:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Assertive Communication ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How To Get People To Not Make Fun Of You]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=752</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Unfortunately, some people believe that making fun of people is funny and sometimes even the people who are being made fun of will have a laugh and a joke about it so that they do not feel stupid or hurt. This is usually, however, far from the truth and it is the psychological damage that [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Unfortunately, some people believe that making fun of people is funny and sometimes even the people who are being made fun of will have a laugh and a joke about it so that they do not feel stupid or hurt. This is usually, however, far from the truth and it is the psychological damage that does the real harm.</p>
<p>Of course there is no simple solution to this problem but there are certain things that will help with how to get people to not make fun of you:</p>
<p>1. To be able to understand why people make fun of you have to understand why that person does so. Most people who bully believe that they are stronger or better in certain ways than you are. They believe that they can control you or gain certain advantages over you which make them feel better about themselves. For as long as these bullies keep thriving on these conditions it is unlikely that they will stop.</p>
<p>2. If you take away their attention seeking control that they believe they achieve while bullying people then you take away the need to do it at all. By this we mean that if you were to ignore them then their bullying becomes a pointless task as they do not gain from it either so just ignore them.</p>
<p>3. When you are ignoring people who make fun of you, you should remember that there are certain ways to go about it. Firstly your <a class="ld_link" href="http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-use-body-language-to-read-a-person-like-a-book/" target="_blank" title="body language">body language</a> should be tall and proud. If you look like they are getting to you then they will keep on making fun at you.</p>
<p>4. Another must is that you do not make eye contact when you are being subjected to verbal abuse as this shows that you have paid some attention to what was being said and they could persist.</p>
<p>5. Always try and remember never to talk back to them as this can lead to them becoming more aggressive and the bullying could get out of hand leading to possible violence. By ignoring them completely this will take all the fun the bully has out of bullying and they will leave you alone.</p>
<p>6. Remember to be confident as some people who are perceived as weaker or as some would class a loner are the main targets to bullies. They are seen as easy prey and will usually get the attention of bullies.</p>
<p>7. When you are the subject of someone making fun of you, always remember to speak clearly and never to act timid or shy as this can also lead to you becoming a target to people who are looking for someone to bully.</p>
<p>8. Most people some point in their lives will suffer from some sort of verbal abuse. This unfortunately is the way that human life is but you should not take anything that is said to heart as this is exactly what they want.</p>
<p>9. Even if they are making fun of you because of something that bothers you, like obesity or a disability, do not let them see that it bothers you as this can cause an escalation in the bullying.</p>
<p>10. If you portray to others that you are a confident person then chances are you will not be a target for bullies as they will see you as a threat who may give back as good as he or she gets.</p>
<p>11. Although it is easier said than done, ignoring bullies who make fun of you can still have an emotional impact on people and it is because of this that you should make sure that you can confide in people who you trust about the problems. Keeping them bubbled up inside can lead to unnecessary stress and can have an effect of your life.</p>
<p>12. Always try and associate yourself with a group of people who can be classed as your friends. It is a lot harder to bully a group of people than an individual.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, bullying is common especially in schools and with the younger members of society but you can learn how to get people to not make fun of you. If you follow these steps then they can help you from becoming a target or getting them to stop altogether.</p>
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		<title>How To Get People To Mind Their Own Business</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-mind-their-own-business/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-mind-their-own-business/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Dec 2010 12:33:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Assertive Communication ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to Get People to Mind their own Business]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=749</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[With all the reality TV and fly on the wall documentaries we see these days, it&#8217;s no wonder that some people can&#8217;t see that real life should be different and so they continually stick their noses in other people&#8217;s business. However, you don&#8217;t have to tolerate this. You do have a right to privacy and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>With all the reality TV and fly on the wall documentaries we see these days, it&#8217;s no wonder that some people can&#8217;t see that real life should be different and so they continually stick their noses in other people&#8217;s business. However, you don&#8217;t have to tolerate this. You do have a right to privacy and here is how you can exercise that right.</p>
<p>1. Don&#8217;t do anything in which the authorities should take an interest</p>
<p>Okay, so this is starting with an obvious point, but if you beat a child, steal someone else&#8217;s property, mistreat and animal, etc. you really don&#8217;t deserve the right to privacy on that particular issue.</p>
<p>So, let&#8217;s say you live a legal, relatively blameless life. How can you p[protect your right to privacy and prevent other people interfering in your life?</p>
<p>2. Don&#8217;t make your private life public knowledge</p>
<p>Celebrities are great ones for doing this. They sell photographs to everything from weddings to childbirth to cosmetic surgery, and then they get upset when people come up to them in the supermarket for autographs. What can they expect once they have blurred the lines of acceptability so much?</p>
<p>Now, while unless you&#8217;re a celebrity reading this article, you are unlikely to have anyone asking for your autograph over the frozen pizzas, this advice is good for you too. If you don&#8217;t want anyone talking about your marriage problems then don&#8217;t kiss another woman in the bar, for example.</p>
<p>3. Be discreet</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re having an affair with your secretary and you don&#8217;t want word to get around, don&#8217;t flirt in the office. Remain professional and keep your personal life out of work hours and out of the office.</p>
<p>4. Guard your personal correspondence</p>
<p>Of course, people should never read your private letters but you can be sure that if you leave such items lying around then some unscrupulous person will be sure to read them. For that reason, you should keep your email password protected and never tell anyone else your password.</p>
<p>5. Don&#8217;t fuel suspicions with secretive behavior</p>
<p>This mind sound like the opposite of the advice given so far but really it isn&#8217;t. It&#8217;s just that if you have nothing to hide, you shouldn&#8217;t act like you have. You may enjoy having a slight air of mystery about you for a while but this can backfire badly. You may appear untrustworthy and you may be the subject of some nasty gossip about what your secret could be.</p>
<p>6. Make some pre-emptive strikes</p>
<p>If you are having some work done at home, a new kitchen fitted, or a new dishwasher delivered let your neighbors know, in passing. They will see the cardboard boxes arrive and if you don&#8217;t want them flapping their gums about what could be in those packages, just tell them. If it&#8217;s no big deal to you, you will have stolen all their thunder and there won&#8217;t be any point talking about it behind your back.</p>
<p>7. Behave appropriately in public</p>
<p>If you don&#8217;t want people talking about you behind your back, don&#8217;t give them any bad behaviour to talk about.</p>
<p>8. Learn how to deal with intrusive questioning</p>
<p>Without causing offence, avoid answering any questions that you don`t want to answer. Make an excuse to get out of the situation, even if it is a lie. Smile and excuse yourself, saying that you need to head off to a dental appointment or to pick up the kids.</p>
<p>If the other person already knows that you are having problems but you don&#8217;t want to discuss them, then smile and thank them for their concern but state simply that the situation is under control and you really don&#8217;t want to talk about it.</p>
<p>These methods for how to get people to mind their own business should be effective if applied calmly and consistently to the people who seem to want to interfere in your life.</p>
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		<title>How to Get People to Meet Deadlines</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-meet-deadlines/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-meet-deadlines/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Dec 2010 12:32:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Assertive Communication ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to Get People to Meet Deadlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=745</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This can be a frustrating and difficult situation, if you are part of a team of workers and you are reliant on other people doing their work on time in order for you to be able to do your own job or to get the project completed. This is a particular difficult situation because when [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This can be a frustrating and difficult situation, if you are part of a team of workers and you are reliant on other people doing their work on time in order for you to be able to do your own job or to get the project completed.</p>
<p>This is a particular difficult situation because when you are considering how to get people to meet deadlines then you are looking at ways to influence another human being, which is not always possible and usually isn&#8217;t easy.</p>
<p>However, there are certain things which you can do in order to and least help other people to meet deadlines.</p>
<p>1. Make sure that the work is within the capability of the other person</p>
<p>Any deadline, no matter how generous, is destined to be missed if the person to whom a task has been allocated is unable to do the work which has been set. So, you need to know the person well enough to give them, to right kinds of jobs to do, in order for them to get done.</p>
<p>2. Make deadlines realistic</p>
<p>A deadline which is too near, rather than motivating someone to work harder will be more likely to make them panic. When people panic they can&#8217;t think effectively so obviously they then can&#8217;t work effectively and that puts the deadline even further in jeopardy.</p>
<p>A good rule of thumb might be for you to think seriously about how long it would take you personally to do the work and try to set a deadline with that in mind, if possible.</p>
<p>3. Involve the person in making their own deadline</p>
<p>You may not be fully aware or the entire workload of the person for whom you are setting a deadline, so if you do this unilaterally you may be being unrealistic and unfair.</p>
<p>So, take some time to sit down with the other person in a calm environment. Discuss with them what their workload is and ask them to suggest a deadline by which they feel they can get the work done.</p>
<p>Be aware that they may try to please you by saying an optimistic deadline, so you may want to ask some supplementary questions like: what other work have you got and when is it due? Does that deadline give you a realistic break or is it going to result in you being burned out and exhausted? etc.</p>
<p>4. Help them to break down the task into smaller parts</p>
<p>This can and should be done at the interim stage of deadline setting. Point out what work would need to be done on a daily or weekly basis in order to meet that deadline, and therefore how much time must be devoted to that project each day. Ask them if they feel they can realistically commit themselves to doing that.</p>
<p>5. Set interim deadlines</p>
<p>Once you have discussed a deadline and decided how the work needs to be apportioned in time, you can set some interim deadlines so that the other person knows what part of the project they should be focusing on and the task becomes less overwhelming.</p>
<p>6. Discuss progress regularly</p>
<p>Progress should be assessed and each and every interims deadline date. You also need to see hard, factual evidence of the progress.</p>
<p>Has the work assigned for that section of the project time been completed? If so, great and that will boost the worker&#8217;s confidence and given them the motivation to move on.</p>
<p>If not, why not? What were the problems and how can they be solved or avoided in the future? Does the deadline need to be reassessed in view of these problems at an interim stage?</p>
<p>7. Be approachable</p>
<p>In order for a worker to feel comfortable undertaking this planning with you and letting you know where they are not meeting their interim deadline targets, you need to make yourself approachable. Don&#8217;t get angry at a missed deadline; instead, discuss the reasons for it and be supportive. Help the worker move on and progress.</p>
<p>In this way, You can be a friendly and supportive manager with the best approach to how to get people to meet deadlines.</p>
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		<title>How To Get People To Go Away</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-go-away/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-go-away/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 27 Nov 2010 12:52:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Assertive Communication ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How To Get People To Go Away]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=720</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Whether it&#8217;s people wanting you to give to charity or sign their petition when you walk down the street, or your family demanding things of you just as you sit down to an evening&#8217;s relaxation in front of the TV or an urgent deadline that requires your undivided attention, sometimes you just wish you knew [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Whether it&#8217;s people wanting you to give to charity or sign their petition when you walk down the street, or your family demanding things of you just as you sit down to an evening&#8217;s relaxation in front of the TV or an urgent deadline that requires your undivided attention, sometimes you just wish you knew how to get people to go away, don&#8217;t you?</p>
<p>With the following tips, you can learn this and get the time and space you need, without causing too much offence.</p>
<p>1. Avoid eye contact</p>
<p>This method perhaps works best when dealing with people in the street that you don&#8217;t know: strangers asking you to take leaflets, sign a petition etc. Just avoid looking directly at them and keep walking. The vast majority of people won&#8217;t have the confidence or bad manners to push for contact under these circumstances.</p>
<p>2. Wear headphones</p>
<p>The various personal entertainment devices that are popular today can be great for avoiding unwanted attention. If you have your headphones on, it will be clear to the other person that you can&#8217;t easily hear them, so they won&#8217;t bother talking to you unless it&#8217;s important.</p>
<p>It works especially well if you also combine it with the previous strategy and don&#8217;t look directly at people. That makes it especially hard for other people to grab your attention.</p>
<p>3. Scowl</p>
<p>Just as a smile will encourage people to interact with you, a scowl will have the opposite effect. It sends out a message that you are not to be messed with, at least at this point in time.</p>
<p>The above guidelines are intended particularly for use out on the street, but they will also work at home. However, now let&#8217;s move on to some methods to get people to go away if you are at home and just want to be left alone for some peace or to get on with something you need to do.</p>
<p>4. Establish some ground rules</p>
<p>This is especially important when you are dealing with children. If you set up your house rules in such a way that a person&#8217;s bedroom is their sanctuary and that you must knock to enter, and that a closed bedroom door indicates that one does not want to be disturbed, you will find it much easier to get people to go away and leave you in peace.</p>
<p>5. Be honest</p>
<p>Again this works best with family and friends. If you are feeling overwhelmed and don&#8217;t have the time or energy to deal with all the demands upon you, explain this to the people interrupting you.</p>
<p>6. Strike a deal</p>
<p>After being honest about your need to be left alone, put some limits upon it so people can see that you are willing to be reasonable and that there will be a certain point at which you will again be happy to communicate with them and meet their needs.</p>
<p>So, for example, you might say, &#8220;I really need to get this article written now, but when I&#8217;ve done that I&#8217;ll come and look through your homework&#8221; or something like that. It&#8217;s not blackmail, it is teaching your children in particular about give and take and compromise. That is a very useful lesson.</p>
<p>7. Get on with what you need to do</p>
<p>Be persistent and do what it is that you set out to do, regardless of interruptions. If you back down now, you will not be taken seriously next time. So, just calmly and in a matter of fact fashion, carry on with your business.</p>
<p>If you get a disgruntled response to this, then just calmly state, &#8220;Well, I told you that I need to (do whatever it is that you&#8217;re doing)&#8221;. You haven&#8217;t conned anyone and it&#8217;s their problem if they didn&#8217;t listen to or respect what you needed to do.</p>
<p>So, in these ways, no matter what the situation, you can learn how to get people to go away.</p>
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