Archive for the ‘Communication Skill ’ Category

How to Talk to New People

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Talking to new people can be a bit of a frightening experience for many of us. We see a person that we want to introduce ourselves to but we are not quite sure what to say or even how to go about it.

Here are some things you can do to help you in how to talk to new people you just met.

Show Interest

Everyone likes to talk about themselves, and even more so when the person they are talking to is interested in what they are saying.

When someone is talking to you show you are interested by giving the appropriate responses to what they are saying. Saying things like ‘really’, ‘is that so’, or ‘wow’, shows the speaker you are listening and are interested in what they are saying.

Paraphrasing Means You Are Listening

Paraphrasing is saying back to the person, who is talking to you, what they just said, but in your own words.

Paraphrasing is the best way to let the other person that you are and have been listening to what they are saying, nearly hanging onto every word. It also clarifies that you understand what they are saying.

Maintain Eye Contact

Maintaining eye contact is a demonstration that you are a sincere individual and that what the other person is saying is important to you. It also shows that your attention is focused on the person who is speaking.

If your eyes wander around the room or become fixed on something else other than the person who is speaking then that sends the message that you have become bored with that person.

Failing to maintain a reasonable degree of eye contact is in fact disrespectful and rude. It also may indicate that you have something to hide and are not confident with yourself.

Smile and Be Friendly

For some, smiling and being friendly is easier said than done. But those are the people that other people try to avoid anyway. Few people like to talk with someone who is sad, angry, or rude.

To increase your opportunities to talk to new people be nice and friendly with the ones you currently talk to. People they talk to may get to hear about you and a good reputation will go before you. So make it a habit to always put your best face on with a friendly spirit in your heart.

Have A Pleasant Voice

No matter who you are talking to there is never a reason for you to raise your voice in a threatening way. When people do this it puts the other on the defense.

When people perceive a threat, whether it’s real or not, their brains automatically go into self-preservation mode. This is certainly not a way to start talking to someone new.

Be Humble

Being humble is a key, not only to talking to new people, but to living life in general.

Humility, although some may not realize it, is perhaps the most attractive quality any human being can possess. It’s a belief that says everyone is equal to you and that it’s fine to make mistakes from time to time.

This attitude makes talking to new people much easier and more comfortable as they will feel they can open up to you, without you feeling that you feel superior to them.

Be Respectful

When you are talking to someone new, always talk to them with respect.

This means watching the language you choose to use. There is nothing more disrespectful than using inappropriate language in a conversation with someone you don’t know.

Also, pay attention to your body language. That says a lot about whether you are being respectful or not and it a lot more difficult to conceal than the meaning in your words.

These are just a few key points in how to talk to new people and they should help you out in getting off on the right foot with people you meet.

Tags: People Skills Training
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How to Talk to Negative People

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Negativity can be difficult to deal with and if you are not careful it can sap your own energy. However, you can learn to talk to negative people.

1. Avoid them

The first thing you might want to do with negative people is avoid them. If they always seem to lack hope and make negative or derogatory remarks, then they are probably someone that you don’t want to have in your life. You may have to be strong and cut off contact with someone who is habitually negative.

However, it is not always possible to avoid negative people; sometimes you just have to deal with them, and here is how to do that and remain positive yourself.

2. Realize what the problem is

Too often when we meet negative people, we blame ourselves for the problem. We think we didn’t make them like us or we did something to upset them. That is not always the case.

If you analyze your communication and you find no fault, and that you maintained a polite, respectful and positive attitude and you were still met with negativity, accept that you are not to blame and that the other person has to take the responsibility for their own negativity.

3. Ask what’s wrong

If you are met with a negative attitude, sometimes (more often than not) it can be fixed if you approach it in the right manner.

So, do not be judgemental, but ask politely and calmly, “is something wrong?” or “you seem upset; why is that?” The person with the negative attitude may actually be glad of the opportunity to talk about how they are feeling and this is often the fastest way to resolve the negativity.

4. Remain positive

Don’t let the other person’s negativity drag you down and make you negative too. Sometimes you will meet people who revel in being negative. It’s like a game to them and they will enjoy countering everything you say. Don’t let that get to you and make you negative too.

You and you alone are responsible for how you feel. You have the power to choose whether to allow someone else’s negative attitude to affect you badly.

In that respect, you have to accept that conversations are two-way processes and let go of your need to control everything about how the conversation goes. Unfortunately, you don’t get to do that so give up trying to control every aspect of the conversation. It may be that you can’t turn it around and make them positive, in every instance.

5. Be encouraging

It could be that the person who is habitually negative is actually depressed and needs professional help. Especially if you know this person well, you could be sensitive but suggest that they seek help for how they are feeling.

6. Be specific

You can suggest things which counter their negative points, if you wish. You will often find that negative people make sweeping generalizations like “it’s all gone wrong” or “I can’t do this anymore”. You can often help them be less negative by getting down to the specifics of the problem, which they then see is not as bad as they first feared.

However, don’t be offended if your points are rejected. Choose to adopt a positive attitude. As was mentioned earlier, you alone are in charge of how you feel.

When you meet with negative people you don’t have to become negative too. Remain upbeat and remember that being specific is how to talk to negative people. Often, you can then reverse their negativity for a better outcome of the conversation for all concerned.

Tags: Communication Skill , Conversation Skills Help
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How to Talk to Important People

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Often, if we struggle in a conversation, it is because we are nervous or self-conscious. That can become even more of a problem when we are talking with those we consider to be important. However, you can learn how to talk to important people and feel comfortable doing it.

That is a good thing because sometimes we all have to talk to important people! Here are a few tips to help you do just that.

1. Consider your approach

This is probably the most important aspect of talking to important people because it makes you think about every aspect of how you communicate.

Really, in communication, the only thing you have to fear are the other person not understanding your point or being offended by what you say or how you say it. You can rectify all these errors by getting your approach correct, so in that respect, talking with someone important is just like talking to anyone else.

2. Show respect

You should show respect to anyone with whom you communicate, but that matter can get a little more complex when you speak to important people. It depends on what makes them important.

For instance, if you are talking to top politicians, royalty, high court judges etc, than an additional aspect to showing them respect is in using their proper title to address them. There may also be additional etiquette to follow.

However, if this is not the case, and you are talking to someone who is important because they are your boss, your future parents-in-law, a potential client, etc, then ordinary everyday respect will suffice. That is the key to this communication and our remaining points unpick that ‘respect’ idea a little more.

3. Listen to the other person

Everyone, no matter who they are, is important enough to be listened to. You should actively listen so that you pick up not only on the subject matter of what they say but also so that you can read between the lines and decipher their feelings on it.

4. Let the other person speak

Listening well also means allowing the other person to speak freely. That will help them to feel respected and gain a favourable impression of you. That is probably what you want to happen.

5. Have a stack of safe topics

There may be certain topics which are off limits when talking to a particular important person. What those topics are depends on how that person is important to you.

If you know what topics would be improper to speak off, such as company politics with your boss, or White house secrets to the President, steer clear of them. It’s not smart or funny to raise these topics in conversation and may cause a lot of embarrassment to the other person and then ultimately to you.

Instead, think up a list of easy topics of conversation they will probably have an opinion about, which they will not feel judged by sharing with you. That should help the conversation to flow nicely, whoever you are talking with.

6. Use appropriate body language

Your body language says a lot about what you are thinking and feeling. That can be a major aspect of talking to important people. Due to their status, they will probably be expecting respect from you, so make sure your body language shows that as well as your words.

Be careful not to invade the personal space of the person you are talking to. Also, don’t touch them unless you know them very well and also know that such a touch will be welcome. An unwelcome touch can feel very threatening and can ruin a conversation.

If you follow these few simple rules, you will soon feel at ease with how to talk to important people as it is much the same as talking with anyone else. Everyone deserves your respect in a conversation and now you know how to show it.

Tags: making conversation
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