1. A potential boss

When going on a job interview, you are intent on making the right impression. You can say in a good and clear voice, “How do you do, Mr./Ms (blank)? I’m very pleased to meet you.”

This is a good, direct introduction. It’s neutral, yet pleasant. Do not use their first name until they say it is okay to do so.

2. The new (or potential) client

On the flip side to a new boss is someone who you are trying to get work from. When you first meet such a person, you should say something like “Welcome to my office, Mr./Ms. (blank); (do not refer to them by their first name). Please have a seat, and let’s talk about what my company can do for you.”

This is a good way to start off because it lets them know that you know their name, you’re offering to make them comfortable, and you’re making it clear that you (and your company) are there to serve them.

3. A possible employee

This is the flip side to going on an interview for a job. You want to put the potential new employee at ease.

So, a nice phrase like, “It’s good of you to come in today, Mr./Ms (blank). Please, have a seat, and we’ll have a look at your resume and see if our company is a good match for you.” You put them at ease, kick off the interview with a basic question (asking for their resume), and make it clear that you are interested in having them come on board as an employee.

4. A date

Nothing gets people more nervous than meeting a man/woman for the first time on a date. There’s always the concern that your words could be misinterpreted by the man (or woman) you’re trying to make a good impression on. So, like for a job interview, be pleasant, but generic.

You could try something like, “It’s very nice to meet you, (blank, the person’s first name); I hope we can have a good time today/tonight.”

You want to make it clear that you’re glad to meet the person, but you need to be wary of saying a word or phrase that could have a sexual connotation.

5. Potential in-laws

This is on a par with meeting someone for a first date: meeting the parents of your boyfriend (or girlfriend) for the first time. You want to be polite and pleasant, yet not come across as a suck up.

So, when meeting them for the first time, in this case, try, “How are you, Mr. and Mrs. (blank)? (First name of boy friend or girl friend) has told me about you; it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Do not refer to them as mom or dad, or even by their first names, until they say that it is okay to do so.

By saying it is a pleasure to meet them you are being nice without going overboard. Also, by saying that their son/daughter has told you about them, you make the point that you know something about them, but not a lot. Saying you know a lot about them will ring false, even if it is true, and you want to afford them the chance to tell you more about themselves.

As you can see, what to say when meeting someone for the first time is important, but it need not be difficult. It all depends on who the person is and why you want to meet them.

However, there are ways you can get over awkward silences. Here are some things you could try:

1. Identify the cause of the silence

This can be really important in getting over the awkwardness. The cause of the awkward silence may have to be addressed in order to end it.

For instance, perhaps someone was insulted and everyone in the conversation was shocked, so they stopped talking. You cannot easily get over this without apologizing for causing the offence.

Similarly, there may be an awkward silence if a recently bereaved person enters the room. This lack of conversation will in this case be caused by not knowing what to say to them. Once you recognize the cause of the silence, you can address it more effectively with the following advice.

2. Do not be afraid to apologize

If you have done something wrong to cause the silence, you may be embarrassed to address it. However, instead of making you look weak or small, as you may fear, apologizing will be more likely to make you appear mature and caring: both attributes that other people will respect.

3. Look to your surroundings

Sometimes, there will be an awkward silence purely because people cannot think of anything to say. This is more likely in a room full of strangers.

In this case, you can break the silence by speaking up with a simple, open-ended question that is easy to answer. If you do not know the people you are with well, the best thing to do is to look at what it is that you have in common: for instance, the event that you are both attending. Talking about that should soon break the silence.

4. Smile

There is often an awkward silence because the other person is afraid to speak up for fear of getting a negative reaction. If you smile and make comfortable, easy eye contact, you make yourself appear open to conversation and the person may pluck up the courage to speak to you.

5. Make the first move

If you find yourself in an awkward silence, do not just wait for someone else to speak. Speak up! You have nothing to be afraid of.

What you say does not have to be smart or funny. It just has to take account of the people you are speaking to and respects them, preferably giving them an easy way to reply.

6. Put people at their ease

Having said that you do not have to be funny to break the silence, sometimes, it helps. You can also directly refer to the awkward silence, rather than leaving it as the elephant in the room that no-one can talk about.

This works particularly well if you feel that the people around you are feeling awkward about talking to you. In this case, it takes some bravery, but if for instance, you have been bereaved, divorced or you have recently suffered a serious illness, you can smile and say, “It`s OK to talk to me like you used to. Actually, I could do with some normal conversation”.

7. Have some stock questions

It helps if you have prepared for possible lulls in the conversation by thinking up a few open-ended and easy questions that you can ask. These should be very simple topics, like:

- What have you seen at the movies lately?

- Where are you planning on taking a vacation this year?

So, you can see that if you can identify the cause of it and take some responsibility for getting over it, you can learn what to say in awkward silences. The important thing is to forget your embarrassment and pen up to other people so they can reply and you can get the conversation going again.

1. Develop a system of beliefs that give you the strength to assert yourself

If you don’t have an opinion, if you do not believe in anything, then how can you speak with any degree of conviction and confidence?

Read what’s being said about politics, the government, your local schools and business concerns, and ask yourself: how do I feel about these things, and why do I feel that way?

Once you develop a core set of beliefs and opinions, you’ll be better able to speak up for yourself.

2. Don’t allow people to interrupt you

Too often, people get interrupted while they’re speaking, and they don’t say anything. They don’t want to be seen as rude, despite the fact that someone else was just rude to them!

Do not stand for interruptions. Don’t become highly defensive or snippy; you can just say something like, “Excuse me, I was speaking. Do you mind if I finish my sentence?”

3. Cut down on behaviors which limit your ability to speak

There are some body language actions that people use naturally but which don’t help you to speak up for yourself. Often, a smile, a nod of the head, a dropping of the eyes, a tilt of the head are counter-productive to being more assertive.

Reduce those actions, and speak.

4. Speak clearly and to the point

When speaking up for yourself you need to speak clearly and not mumble or talk under your breath. Speaking clearly sends the message about how confident you are in getting what you want.

You also need to get to the point as quickly as possible when you are speaking up for yourself. Getting to the point sends the message that you are serious about what you want and not to be easily deterred from getting it.

5. Slow the pace down

Some people talk rapidly when they are speaking up for themselves. This sends the message that you are nervous and not confident about what you are speaking up for. When speaking up for yourself you should speak at a moderate pace, much like you would when you are having a conversation with your family members or friends.

6. Eye contact

It’s said that the eyes are the window to the soul, and that the way to assert domination in the animal world is through the use of the eyes.

When you are trying to stand up for yourself, the eyes are vital. Learn to maintain good eye contact, but don’t stare at a person. Maintaining soft and easy eye contact and breaking it off every few minutes for a few seconds will help you in getting your point across.

If you stand there, eyes cast down to the floor and try to (as an example) get a raise, you’ll fail.

7. Learn to listen

Part of speaking up for yourself is not speaking at all.

First, listen and learn all that you can about the people you’re trying to stand up for yourself with. By learning what they believe in, what their views are, and what’s important in their lives, you can get clues to being more assertive.

As you can see, speaking up for yourself is not only very important, but you can learn how to do it, if you follow a few simple steps. Select the technique or techniques above best suited to your lifestyle, and learn them.

However, there are plenty of things you can do to get over your nervousness and actually enjoy meeting new people.

1. Don’t feel you have to impress

You don’t. Have you ever met someone or maybe seen them on TV where they are trying really hard to impress? It’s just not impressive! This kind of approach appears fake and being fake will make people wary of you.

Remember that the people you are meeting are human too: no better or worse than you. They are also unlikely to be judging you as harshly as you fear, too!

2. Don’t go alone if you don’t have to

In many situations, it is perfectly possible for you to take a friend with you, unless it is something like a job interview or professional meeting. Having a friend by your side can help because when things get difficult they can boost your confidence with a few words and maybe even just a smile.

The very fact that they are your friend and wanted to go with you to support you should make you feel better. It shows that you have good qualities that people like about you.

3. Take a few deep breaths and smile

You are in control of how you feel. You have the power to calm yourself down. You may be surprised that if you take a moment to breathe deeply that will release the tension in your body and clear your head.

Once you can think clearly, you should be able to see that the situation is not as threatening as you perceived it to be.

4. Go prepared

If you are nervous meeting new people, you may find that it is difficult to know what to say. Pre-empt this situation by preparing a few conversation openers or points you want to make. Write them on a postcard and take it with you to help as a prompt.

5. Dress comfortably

If you feel good about how you look, you will be more confident when you meet new people. You will feel that it is one less thing on which they could judge you negatively.

So, dress appropriately for the situation, and think about wearing favourite clothes or jewelry that you know you look your best in, or even buying something new for the occasion.

6. Stay true to yourself

This is not always easy to do, especially when you feel that the people you are meeting may not like you for who you are. However, you are going to have to live with yourself after this meeting, so regardless of whether people like you or not, it is much more important that you like yourself and that you are happy with how you behaved.

7. Accept that some people won’t like you

You don’t like everyone. You disapprove of the things that some people do. That is fine. But by the same token, don’t expect everyone to like you!

There will no doubt be people whose morals and opinions you dislike. That doesn’t necessarily make them bad people; they are just not your type of people. You are free to dislike some people and that does them no damage whatsoever. The same is true of people disliking you. It doesn’t do you any harm, and you may well not like the ways in which you would have to change yourself to get their approval. It’s not worth it.

Liking yourself is far more important than having other people like you, fortunately, if you like yourself, you are more likely to have people like you. That knowledge, put into practice in these few steps, should help you not be nervous meeting new people.

1. Tell a joke

This is by far the easiest and most direct means for how to get people to smile. The key here is to tailor the joke to your audience. A risque joke is fine for a bachelor party or a night out with the guys (or girls), but not for a family gathering. In the case of children, something as simple as an elephant joke can get them to smile and laugh.

2. Pay them a compliment

People do tend to be a bit vain, some more than others, and nothing gladdens a person’s heart more than to hear how wonderful some aspect of their life is. So, compliment a physical feature of theirs, or tell them their house, car or something else of theirs is great.

If you’re in a family/social setting, maybe give them a compliment as to their cooking or how well they host a party.

If they’re a parent, and their child is nearby, a compliment about their child can work. It can be as simple as saying how beautiful their baby is, or how well their child plays a sport or dances or sings.

3. Help them out

Often, people need help with work, their home life or a personal matter. If you offer to help a co-worker or help them in some aspect of their personal life, you can often get a smile.

Sometimes it could be a big commitment of time and effort: helping them to move or babysitting their child. Other times, it could be as easy as offering to pick up something on the way home from work: groceries, kids from school etc.

4. Propose marriage

Granted, this is not something you can do often, but asking that special someone to marry you will definitely get a smile out of them. That is, if they say yes. Of course, if they say no, they may still smile, as they may see the whole thing as a big joke. In that case, you may end of frowning and/or sad.

If a marriage proposal is not appropriate, how about proposing a date or maybe just an outing with friends?

5. Offer a job, promotion and/or pay rise

These are all done strictly in the office arena, but they are still valid. The offer of a position with a company, getting a promotion or getting paid more money are all things that will make any person happy, and get a smile out of them.

6. Give them good news

This can encompass a very wide range of events. It can be everything from “You don’t have cancer (or some other disease)”, to: “You’re cured!” It could be news about a friend or family member: they’re safe, they’re healthy, they’re coming to visit you, and so on.

You could tell them they’ve won the lottery (granted, a rare event), that their house has sold, or that their offer on a house has been accepted.

You can even tell them their favorite TV program is about to play for a new season.

5. Entertain them

You can sing, dance, act or put on some sort of show that makes people happy. In some instances, a few simple dance steps or just a few bars of a song can get a smile out of people. The real plus here is that you don’t even have to be any good. In fact, the more you mess up, the more smiles you may get.

With how to get people to smile, there are steps to take, but it can be tough. So, make use of the suggestions here, and you stand a good chance of accomplishing that goal.