Archive for the ‘Conversation Skills Help’ Category

How To Get People To Listen

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

Getting attention and knowing how to get people to listen is a big issue for many people even though there is a simple often overlooked solution. Once you know the basis of all good conversation you know how to keep people listening…

All good conversation is story telling.

Yes, when you meet friends, family and new people everyone is looking for the same thing. They all want to have an entertaining, interesting conversation. Most of the time this means you will make a great impression when you bring up interesting topics of conversation told in the form of a story.

For example let`s say a new hotel has just opened in your city. One way to mention this is to give the facts and the statistics – it is a 5 Star hotel with 200 rooms, a gym, great views of the skyline and a roof top restaurant.

That is not the way I`d introduce that news as a topic of conversation. I`d tell a story…

“On Tuesday evening last night a little after 8pm I was walking down Main street with Lisa when we spotted unusual red lights way down the street. We had some time to kill before meeting her sister so we walked a few more blocks until those red lights got closer and closer. We still didn`t know what the lights were about.

Anyway, we got to the building and noticed that “the beautiful people” were everywhere looking cool. And those red lights were all around the building. Very unusual.

Its a hotel but it doesn`t look like any hotel I`ve ever seen. As you walk up to the entrance its more like walking into a cross between a really weird art gallery and a European late night bar.

We walked in and ended up talking to the manager. Very nice guy. He even gave us a tour of the bar and restaurant before taking us up in the elevator to the roof. What a view! You can see right across the city from up there.

I was impressed. This is a very unusual hotel. I`ve never seen anything like it.”

Notice how I shared a news item without making it sound like a news broadcast. I shared very few facts. I would share more information if the person I`m talking to asks me to tell them more. First I need to get their attention to see if they have any interest in that subject. Story telling is the best way to do that.

How To Be A Great Story Teller That Gets People To Listen

1. Build up a portfolio of great stories

I have many stories I tell again and again when I meet different people. When I meet new people these stories are new to them so its okay to recycle my old favourites. And, the more you tell a great story the better it gets. You can relax because you already know what you are going to say.

Forget about being original with everyone you meet. The best conversationalists I have ever met and learned from all share one key characteristic. they all have a stock of great stories they tell with enthusiasm and passion. They`ve told these stories so many times they look like masters of conversation. The truth is that practice makes perfect.

2. Always be on the look out for new and interesting stories

We live in such fast changing times that there are amazing new developments almost everyday of the week. Share these news items as stories and you`ll find people are interested to hear what you have to say.

Listen to local radio and visit web sites that cover your city to keep up to date with local news that could be interesting to your friends and family. You need to keep your eyes and ears open to pick up new conversation fuel or you`ll run out of things to say when you meet people.

3. Read good stories

What makes for an interesting story? Its the way you tell it as much as the story itself. Learn from great story tellers, copy their approach and you`ll find other people are a lot more interested in hearing your story.

Read good fiction to develop your conversation skills. Pay attention to how stories unfold and you`ll see how many, many conversation topics can be interesting as long as you know how to tell a good story.

4. Always focus on the human element

Talk about local news and what is happening in your community, talk about amazing new technologies or discuss the latest cool electronics gadget. That`s all good but remember to tell a story rather than merely share facts and figures.

The best way to keep it interesting is to focus on the people behind the news item. Talk about the mad genius who worked through the night to create the latest space age cell phone. Mention the 11 year old prodigy who figured out how the city can save millions by reconfiguring the computer systems that run city hall.

The people behind the facts are always much more interesting that what they did as long as we get to hear about how they think and how they live. Magazines and interviews are good sources for profiles about these people who shape the world we live in. If you read about their work pay close attention to the description of their personality and work style. Later this will be the basis for your story about their breakthrough.

Now, get out there and tell stories that entertain people and leave them eager to hear more.

Want to improve your conversation skills today?

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

The fastest way to do this is to find someone who has great conversation skills and simply copy his approach. Don`t waste time debating what works or refusing a new way of talking to people because it is different. Just go ahead and copy what obviously works.

I have already spent many years copying what great conversationalists do so i`ll get you started right away with some of the best insights I have picked up. Do bear in mind you need to be open minded and pay attention to these conversation tips if you are to gain anything from reading this article.

If you are looking for complexity you will not find it here. We will review simple yet highly effective strategies that will improve your conversation skills if you listen and test these ideas for yourself.

1. Look For Commonality

Always be on the lookout for what you have in common with the person you are talking to. Pay close attention to not only what he says but also the way he talks. People reveal their passions and interests with changes in tempo and enthusiasm in their voices.

When you spot a common interest dive in and drive the conversation in that direction. Share your passion and interest in that topic of conversation and the dialogue can quickly take on a life of its own.

2. Be Energetic

It takes energy and enthusiasm to become the kind of person that others love to talk to. For this reason make sure you take care of your physical state before important social events or other situations when you want to make a good impression.

Eat well, be rested and aim to be alert and refreshed so you will be attentive, motivated and inspired to make great conversation when the need arises. When you are bright eyed and bushy tailed it is much easier to convey the enthusiasm that makes it fun and interesting for others to talk to you.

3. Take Control

Wherever possible take control of the conversation by asking open questions that direct the flow of the conversation. That way you can steer the other party onto positive and interesting topics of conversation.

If the conversation wanes change topics instead of waiting for someone else to move the conversation along. This attitude of taking charge will cause you to be much more proactive and dynamic – qualities we see all the time in people who make great conversation look easy.

4. Know Local News

Make a point of staying up to date with fun local news others will find of interest. Local events, new business openings, artistic and cultural happenings and local sports events are all potential topics of conversation people love to talk about.

When you know a little about a wide range of local news you will never be stuck for something to talk about. You`ll always have something to say to whoever you are talking to. This takes a lot of the pressure off and lets you relax and enjoy meeting new people.

If you still want to improve conversation skills go and test out these ideas. Yes, it looks too simple but if you decide right now to try a few new approaches you will see a big change in how well you can make conversation with people you meet.

With a little practice you will find it easier and easier to talk to anyone you meet. Just remember to play with these strategies and adjust your approach until it fits with your personal style. A little trial and error is to be expected until the changes in your conversation skills become second nature.

How To Keep A Conversation Going – The 10 Simple Steps

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

The art of conversation really is a wonderful skill; the simple skills to keep a conversation alive can be the deciding factor to how successful you are going to be.

Starting a conversation and maintaining a conversation really are two separate factors. As with anything there is a start, middle and an end.

Below are some tips that will help you to keep any conversation alive:

1. Don’t be a conversational bully. Avoid making people feel as if they are forced to listen to what you have to say.  Shouting and raising your voice won’t get you listened to.  It will just frustrate you and the other party involved.

2. Learn the difference between conversation and speech.  These are 2 very simple things to get mixed up on, whilst giving a speech you are being listened to. When one is having a conversation then 2 parties are involved! A conversation is word exchanges between 2 or more people.

3. Don’t shy away from phone calls. A lot of people shy away from phone calls don’t hide when the phone rings its great practice for talking face to face.

4. Questions are the key.  Yes keep the conversation a drift and flowing with questions! Questions are excellent for making the conversation continue. Even if you are really fed with the topics just act as if you are interested by generating questions.

Some excellent questions for keeping the conversation afloat are:

Who?

What?

Where?

Why?

When?

How?

Really?

Is it?

Do you like…?

These suggestions might seem rather random; however try them out in a test run and see the results.

5. Don’t be boring. If you are on a date and need to impress, then being boring is a big no-no! You won’t even know when you’re boring the other party. Try to avoid subjects that are all about you: how you are good because you did something etc.

6. Perhaps you will feel tempted to brag or turn the tables and start talking about you ex girlfriend or boyfriend. On a date this is a crime; you really can’t do this.

7. Talk about the other person. A great way to keep the conversation going is to talk about the person that you are talking to! Pay an interest into their upbringing, social values, and way of life. If you show interest to the other person then the conversation will never die!

8. Be interested but don’t be nosy. Know your limits, gossiping and extracting information from people with nosy behaviour is extremely frustrating. You most certainly won’t be getting a fan club by behaving in this manner. People won’t want to merge in conversation with you again. Nosiness and gossiping is the final wave to a healthy conversation flow.

9. Don’t pretend. Learn when the subject of conversation isn’t something that you’re comfortable or familiar with then politely change the subject; pretending that you are interested in something and know about that thing, is a recipe for failure.

10. Be lively. Talk with energy and incorporate fresh new topics to the conversation. Talk about recent news flashes, what’s happening in the world.  For example if you start a conversation on the topic of politics, it’s sure not to end anytime soon!

You should feel privileged with the gift of talking. Don’t build up barriers and unnecessary obstacles to stop you from words of conversation. If you follow the above tips then you will notice improvements in no time at all. Conversation should be fun, to interact with people and to engage in talk is a way of life. Once you can talk and keep a conversation going, you can be sure that you will be able to maintain good relations with friend and relatives.