Communication Skills Power

If you are not confident by nature the simple task of  starting a conversation is enough to start the heart racing!

Yes you read it correctly! Cold sweats, heart palpitations, shaking, stuttering, are just some of the effects that the faint-hearted can be faced with whilst starting a conversation.

This can all be avoided by following these simple yet effective tips to help your confidence soar.

1. Shyness doesn’t pay. Being timid and shying away amongst the crowd really doesn’t pay off in this day and age. While sitting amongst your friends and listening to their conversations, teach yourself to not only be a listener.

2. Make sure that you contribute and offer your feedback to the conversation. By doing this you will in time gain confidence to start conversation topics with strangers, not just with those you are familiar with.

3. Confidence is the key! One of the qualities that make a great public speaker is the simple yet effective ability to be listened to! Whilst alone stand in front of the mirror, practise speaking stand straight and tall, and talk at a good volume (not shouting).

4. An assertive voice of authority will help to draw people to listen to you. In fact they won’t have the choice not to!

5. Make all eyes on you! If the person that you wish to start a conversation with has their back to you, don’t wait for them to turn around: say their name or say hello to help draw their attention. By doing this you will help to get them listening to you. You will appear confident (even if inside you have butterflies!)

6. Revise beforehand! - I don’t mean turn into a nerd, you don’t have to write it down and take a pen to paper. However if you can simply have a map of thought in your head, with the topic of conversation clearly planned  out. Then upon opening your mouth the words will flow, you won’t be stuck in a trail of thought and you will be able to take the conversation just where you want it to go!

7. Communication is a YES!  Learn to understand that the very way that you communicate with people will be the deciding factor of just how successful that you will be in this life. The very skill of being able to start a conversation will help to take your life to higher limits!

8. Sit and think are there any successful business people that are not able to start a conversation? Can you live your life in the shadows of others?

9. Nerves are what you make them! Teach yourself that nerves really are what you make of them. Don’t allow nerves to escalate and hold you back. A lot of people have difficulty in starting a conversation with a stranger.

Every one struggles in conversation, if you are able to take note and learn the skills provided above then starting a conversation needn’t be stressful. Don’t be nervous. Learn that that the people that you are trying to strike conversation with are probably just a nervous as you.

A lot of people lack the confidence to start a conversation, or perhaps fear talking to the opposite sex. This is a very limited way of thinking, negative thoughts such as they will laugh at me, they won’t find me interesting, etc are really just that. E positive! Negativity doesn’t get you anywhere.

When you are at a party, or maybe a job interview, there can be points where the conversation wanes and/or falls flat. So, you can use some methods perk things up. Now, the first thing you want to remember is: do not panic! It is common for any conversation to go through peaks and valleys.

Step one, be sure to maintain eye contact with the other person. This will help them to feel that you are connected with them. Next, and this is something to keep in mind over the course of the conversation - pay attention to what the other person has said. That way, if things start to fall off, you can paraphrase back to them what you have heard. Very often, this will inspire the other person to find other things to add to the conversation.

After that, try to think of questions you can ask them about what they have said. Also, playing the old “Devil’s Advocate” scenario can work too. There is just one thing about that, be wary of coming across as too judgmental or negative. This can result in them shutting down and not wanting to speak further. Boy, talk about sucking the steam right out a conversation! So, watch what you ask, and then ask indepth follow up questions that pull out still more information from the speaker.

If the subject of the conversation has truly run its course, then there are still other means of keeping things rolling along. First, just ask the other person questions about themselves. Something as simple as: “Where are you from?” can go a long way to re-energizing the conversation. A lot of people enjoy the prospect of talking about themselves. You can ask about their life, where they are from, what places they like to visit, and so on.

Next, if their “life questions” do not lead anywhere; you can ask something as simple as: “What was the last movie you saw, and what did you think of it?” You can also ask what their political views are, are they worried about Global Warming, and so forth.

Of course, sometimes the other person in the conversation can simply not have anything more to contribute. This is where you can step in and perk things up. So, step one, do a little review in your mind as to what has been the subject (or subjects) of the conversation. Next, look at some other subject you can relate to one (or more) of them. And, don’t think in a straight, linear fashion. Try to, as They say “think outside the box”. As an example, if you have been talking about favorite vacation spots, and someone has mentioned how much they love Cape Cod, you could mention the fact that the movie “Jaws” was filmed out on Martha’s Vineyard Island. This could lead to a whole discussion of movies, of that movie, of the author of the book, or even of the actors and / or director. After all, “Jaws” was one of Steven Spielberg’s biggest hits.

Finally, a change of venue can also help. You can suggest going out for coffee, going to grab a bite to eat, going to a bar or cafe to get a drink, and so on. In the movie “Music and Lyrics”, Drew Barrymore’s character suggested getting out of Hugh Grant’s apartment so they can get some inspiration for writing a song. Well, the same can be true for a conversation. Even just going for a walk can help. You move around, the blood flows, the brain gets active; you see things, hear things, and ideas can come to you,

It is a common problem; you are at a party or maybe some sort of formal or informal gathering, and you do not know what to say. People chat and carry on all manner of conversations; yet you seem to be left on the and are little more than an audience to others.

Well, there are some ways to get over that issue and get to play a part in the conversation. If it is a dinner you are in, there is always the old joke of just asking people to pass you things. Of course, that is not much of a conversation. So, you need to explore other means.

First off, you do not want to be interrupting a person when they are speaking. So, you have to watch and wait patiently for a pause, a lull in the conversation; and then jump in. It might sound like some sort of battle plan, but in the art of speaking, you almost do have to treat it as such.

Now, then there is that issue of being stuck for words. What happens if you are essentially all talked out; if you truly have nothing to say? Well, step one is to step back and take a little breather. Clear you mind, and collect your ideas. After all, if you have been speaking on a subject for quite some time, you might have nothing more to add to the conversation. Do not feel like you always have to speak on everything.

Next, pay attention to what is being said. At some point, the subject of the conversation will move on to something else. Now, that may occur due to the actions of others, or you can do it. The secret to that is to pay attention to what is being said, and look for an opportunity to steer it into an area where you have something to say. Now, this can be tricky. On the one hand, you do not want to take the subject of the conversation away from someone when they are in the middle of making a point. On the other hand, if you see that the conversation is waning a bit; then this can be your chance to revitalize it by moving on to another subject.

Then there is the general climate of the day. You can always connect with a conversation if you stay up to date on current events. So, watch the news, read the paper, and make note of the major events of the world. That way, when someone asks about the Presidential campaign or Global Warming or some other pressing concern of the day, you can offer an opinion. Without that, you will have to continue to stand on the sidelines and just listen.

Another excellent means of getting back into the general scope of a conversation is by using a few simple questions. When given the opportunity, ask the speaker something. Not only will this keep you “in the loop”, so to speak, but the speaker will feel good about the fact that you are interested in them. It’s important that you don’t appear mean-spirited accusatory. Just be calm, ask a few things about the subject, and that will help to keep you connected to the conversation.

Along with the art of asking questions is the art of listening properly. By paying close attention to what is said,your subsequent questions will make sense, and you will also get information from the speaker that can give you ideas as to what you can say to be part of the conversation.