Archive for the ‘Interpersonal Skills Tips’ Category

How To Get People To Understand You

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

There will be times, with all the interactions you have on a daily basis, that someone is not going to understand you.

At work you may try to explain a procedure to a co-worker; in a social situation, like a restaurant, it’s important for wait staff to understand your order; and then, there is your private life where it’s very important to you that those close to you, understand you.

There are numerous situations where you will want people to understand you.

Here are some thoughts about how to get people to understand you.

1. Be in control when explaining yourself

Don’t let your emotions be the ruler, but the fuel of who you are. It’s an awesome thing to have a great idea that you are passionate about, but if you let passion dominate your wisdom you will lose control of more than explaining yourself. If you want people to understand you relax, in the confidence of who you are and explain yourself.

2. Speak with clarity as you explain yourself.

If you want people to understand you, then you are responsible for speaking in such a way that they can understand you. This involves knowing what you want to say. Once you know what you want to say, practice it a few times before you actually present to your audience.

When you want to be understood, avoid using language that is unfamiliar to those to whom you are talking. If street language is what those you are talking to understand best then use that language so they may have a better chance of understanding what you are saying. And definitely don`t use high class language because it could send a wrong message.

By the same token, if you are talking with a boss or other important person you won’t want to use street language to elicit their understanding. You will run the risk of losing them as they are forced to ask, “what does that mean?”

Speak in a language that your particular audience can understand and be clear if you want others to understand what you are saying.

3. Appear as if you want to be understood by those to whom you are talking

That means that you need to have confidence in what you be will saying. Confidence is about knowing what you’re going to say before you say it and in knowing that what you are saying is correct and useful or interesting to your audience.

Practice can enhance your confidence.

Your body language will also tell others if you are sincere about being understood. For example, if you are running your fingers through your hair, while trying to explain something to someone, you are demonstrating nervousness and insecurity, neither of which help you to be understood.

4. Be reliably honest

This is essential if you want people to listen long enough to understand you. Some people consistently lie or fabricate stories and then wonder why they can’t get any understanding when they really need it. It’s because of their past unreliability and dishonesty. If you want people to understand you then be reliable and honest.

5. Point out similarities between what you are saying and what someone else is saying

Similarities will help others understand you more clearly, and in addition, give more credence to what you are saying. When one sees commonalities it helps to make connections which in turn helps understanding. Thus, the more connections you can help someone make, the more understanding you can achieve.

If you want people to understand you than you must work at being understood.

These are some ways to get people to understand you. Put these tips into practice and you should get what you want: more understanding from the people you are talking to.

How To Get People To Trust You

Sunday, January 2nd, 2011

The most valuable asset anyone can have, in interactions with others, is trust. Trust is the number one value between parties of any interaction. Even when first meeting someone we automatically begin to evaluate their trustworthiness.

Trust is an intrinsic part of human nature. It is part of our natural protection system and has been one of the most important foundations of all human connections since the beginning of time.

Therefore, if you want to develop good relationships with other people, it is very important that you know how to get people to trust you.

If you want to gain the trust of others there are some things you can do:

1. Get to know people well if you want them to trust you

People develop trust for others through familiarity and experience. The more you get to know someone the more they will trust you, and vice versa, unless you specifically break that trust.

Trust is the result of the reciprocal familiarity and experience with those that are around you and involved with your life on a regular basis.

You can’t expect people to trust you from the start, but you need to work on being trustworthy from the beginning of a relationship. That way, you don’t begin from a deficit of having already appeared untrustworthy. Once trust is broken, it is difficult to get back.

2. Spend time with those you are interested in getting to know and whom you want to trust you

The best way to build the trust that you want people to have in you is to be around the people you are wanting to build a trust with. This of course goes hand in hand with getting to know people. Courting is a good example of spending time to gain trust of another. As the relationship develops and grows the more trust that is given to each partner from the other

3. Be available to help those around you

A great way to help build trust is to think beyond ourselves when it comes to the needs of others. You might ask, “How can me helping others build trust?” The answer is this: “People will gain trust in you due to your positive behaviors and the help that you give to others with positive behavior.”

4. Be honest with all those around you, even when that honesty might hurt

One of the strange things about honesty is that it can hurt in some situations. But when you are honest in all situations you will get respect which will translate into people trusting you. If you are dishonest with someone, word has a way of getting around to others and gaining trust from any of those people then becomes more difficult.

5. Be sincere in your intentions with everyone

The key to people believing your intentions is in your follow through. If you say “I will do that” then do it to the best of your abilities. If you can’t do it for some reason then let the other person know.

Most of trust building is founded in your communications with others. Part of your communicating with others requires you to be sincere if you expect to gain the trust of those around you.

Getting people to trust you is totally your responsibility. By demonstrating trustworthy behaviors you will gain the trust of those around you. The flip side to the coin of trust is: “if you violate people’s trust its a challenge to regain”.

These are some simple methods for how to get people to trust you and avoid losing trust. Use these as a your starting point to get peoples trust.

How To Get People To Take You Seriously

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

Even world leaders are not taken seriously all the time. However, when people are not taking you seriously there are some things you can do to let them know that you are serious and that they should respect that.

Here are some points on how to get people to take you seriously.

1. Stand your ground if you deeply believe in what you are serious about

There will be people who will say that what you are serious about is nothing more than a joke; this will be especially true when those, with that negativity, don’t have all the facts. It could actually be that you know better than your doubters.

Nonetheless, you may well find yourself having to make a stand if it means that much to you. So people know you are serious, you must take a stand and hold that ground no matter what if you have a belief in what you want taken seriously.

Often when you hold your ground the other person might eventually see what you are trying to say to them, hopefully. If not, still hold on to how serious you are about whatever you want to be taken seriously.

2. Be assertive in letting people know you are serious

If you are wishy washy about anything you think you are serious about it sends a message that you are not serious about anything, which then of course speaks to your integrity.

So know what you are serious about and assert yourself in those directions of your belief. Think of being yourself and standing on the rock of who you are, and for what you believe in, and you will become assertive.

3. Have passion for what is serious to you and that passion will let people know that you are serious.

For example, if you are serious about helping society in some specific way, have a passion for that and people will see that you are serious about what you want to do.

4. Your behavior will send many signals of how serious you are.

If you are always goofing off and clowning around then it will make it difficult for people to take you seriously. If you think you are a ‘player’ and behave like that not many people will be able to take you seriously.

If you sacrifice your dignity to be the center of attention you send the message that you have no personal values which you hold dear. A person without personal values is not a serious person. Your behavior speaks loudly and will have a profound effect on how seriously people will take you.

5. What you say and how you say it is another indicator of how serious you are.

Your words and behavior are intimately intertwined. If you say one thing and then do another then there will be a likely chance that no-one will be able to take you seriously.

Be consistent in your word and action if you want people to take you seriously.

How you say things is another sign of how serious you are. If you boisterously walk around saying you are going to this and that, without putting much action in to realise you are saying, not only will you be seen as not being serious, but obnoxious as well.

Serious people don`t need to advertise it to know they are serious. They are action oriented.

Getting people to take you seriously is ultimately up to you, especially as to how serious you take yourself. You have now been given a few points how to get people to take you seriously. Use them and you will find more people taking you seriously.