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	<title>Communication Skills Power Blog &#187; Interpersonal Skills Tips</title>
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	<description>how to develop great conversation skills</description>
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		<title>How To Get People To Understand You</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-understand-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-understand-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Jan 2011 12:06:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication Skill ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Interpersonal Skills Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to Get People to Understand You]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=786</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There will be times, with all the interactions you have on a daily basis, that someone is not going to understand you. At work you may try to explain a procedure to a co-worker; in a social situation, like a restaurant, it&#8217;s important for wait staff to understand your order; and then, there is your [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There will be times, with all the interactions you have on a daily basis, that someone is not going to understand you.</p>
<p>At work you may try to explain a procedure to a co-worker; in a social situation, like a restaurant, it&#8217;s important for wait staff to understand your order; and then, there is your private life where it&#8217;s very important to you that those close to you, understand you.</p>
<p>There are numerous situations where you will want people to understand you.</p>
<p>Here are some thoughts about how to get people to understand you.</p>
<p>1. Be in control when explaining yourself</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t let your emotions be the ruler, but the fuel of who you are. It&#8217;s an awesome thing to have a great idea that you are passionate about, but if you let passion dominate your wisdom you will lose control of more than explaining yourself. If you want people to understand you relax, in the confidence of who you are and explain yourself.</p>
<p>2. Speak with clarity as you explain yourself.</p>
<p>If you want people to understand you, then you are responsible for speaking in such a way that they can understand you. This involves knowing what you want to say. Once you know what you want to say, practice it a few times before you actually present to your audience.</p>
<p>When you want to be understood, avoid using language that is unfamiliar to those to whom you are talking. If street language is what those you are talking to understand best then use that language so they may have a better chance of understanding what you are saying. And definitely don`t use high class language because it could send a wrong message.</p>
<p>By the same token, if you are talking with a boss or other important person you won&#8217;t want to use street language to elicit their understanding. You will run the risk of losing them as they are forced to ask, &#8220;what does that mean?&#8221;</p>
<p>Speak in a language that your particular audience can understand and be clear if you want others to understand what you are saying.</p>
<p>3. Appear as if you want to be understood by those to whom you are talking</p>
<p>That means that you need to have confidence in what you be will saying. Confidence is about knowing what you&#8217;re going to say before you say it and in knowing that what you are saying is correct and useful or interesting to your audience.</p>
<p>Practice can enhance your confidence.</p>
<p>Your <a class="ld_link" href="http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-use-body-language-to-read-a-person-like-a-book/" target="_blank" title="body language">body language</a> will also tell others if you are sincere about being understood. For example, if you are running your fingers through your hair, while trying to explain something to someone, you are demonstrating nervousness and insecurity, neither of which help you to be understood.</p>
<p>4. Be reliably honest</p>
<p>This is essential if you want people to listen long enough to understand you. Some people consistently lie or fabricate stories and then wonder why they can&#8217;t get any understanding when they really need it. It&#8217;s because of their past unreliability and dishonesty. If you want people to understand you then be reliable and honest.</p>
<p>5. Point out similarities between what you are saying and what someone else is saying</p>
<p>Similarities will help others understand you more clearly, and in addition, give more credence to what you are saying. When one sees commonalities it helps to make connections which in turn helps understanding. Thus, the more connections you can help someone make, the more understanding you can achieve.</p>
<p>If you want people to understand you than you must work at being understood.</p>
<p>These are some ways to get people to understand you. Put these tips into practice and you should get what you want: more understanding from the people you are talking to.</p>
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		<title>How To Get People To Trust You</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-trust-you/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-trust-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Jan 2011 12:04:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Interpersonal Skills Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to Get People to Trust You]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=783</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The most valuable asset anyone can have, in interactions with others, is trust. Trust is the number one value between parties of any interaction. Even when first meeting someone we automatically begin to evaluate their trustworthiness. Trust is an intrinsic part of human nature. It is part of our natural protection system and has been [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The most valuable asset anyone can have, in interactions with others, is trust. Trust is the number one value between parties of any interaction. Even when first meeting someone we automatically begin to evaluate their trustworthiness.</p>
<p>Trust is an intrinsic part of human nature. It is part of our natural protection system and has been one of the most important foundations of all human connections since the beginning of time.</p>
<p>Therefore, if you want to develop good relationships with other people, it is very important that you know how to get people to trust you.</p>
<p>If you want to gain the trust of others there are some things you can do:</p>
<p>1. Get to know people well if you want them to trust you</p>
<p>People develop trust for others through familiarity and experience. The more you get to know someone the more they will trust you, and vice versa, unless you specifically break that trust.</p>
<p>Trust is the result of the reciprocal familiarity and experience with those that are around you and involved with your life on a regular basis.</p>
<p>You can&#8217;t expect people to trust you from the start, but you need to work on being trustworthy from the beginning of a relationship. That way, you don&#8217;t begin from a deficit of having already appeared untrustworthy. Once trust is broken, it is difficult to get back.</p>
<p>2. Spend time with those you are interested in getting to know and whom you want to trust you</p>
<p>The best way to build the trust that you want people to have in you is to be around the people you are wanting to build a trust with. This of course goes hand in hand with getting to know people. Courting is a good example of spending time to gain trust of another. As the relationship develops and grows the more trust that is given to each partner from the other</p>
<p>3. Be available to help those around you</p>
<p>A great way to help build trust is to think beyond ourselves when it comes to the needs of others. You might ask, &#8220;How can me helping others build trust?&#8221; The answer is this: &#8220;People will gain trust in you due to your positive behaviors and the help that you give to others with positive behavior.&#8221;</p>
<p>4. Be honest with all those around you, even when that honesty might hurt</p>
<p>One of the strange things about honesty is that it can hurt in some situations. But when you are honest in all situations you will get respect which will translate into people trusting you. If you are dishonest with someone, word has a way of getting around to others and gaining trust from any of those people then becomes more difficult.</p>
<p>5. Be sincere in your intentions with everyone</p>
<p>The key to people believing your intentions is in your follow through. If you say &#8220;I will do that&#8221; then do it to the best of your abilities. If you can&#8217;t do it for some reason then let the other person know.</p>
<p>Most of trust building is founded in your communications with others. Part of your communicating with others requires you to be sincere if you expect to gain the trust of those around you.</p>
<p>Getting people to trust you is totally your responsibility. By demonstrating trustworthy behaviors you will gain the trust of those around you. The flip side to the coin of trust is: &#8220;if you violate people&#8217;s trust its a challenge to regain&#8221;.</p>
<p>These are some simple methods for how to get people to trust you and avoid losing trust. Use these as a your starting point to get peoples trust.</p>
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		<title>How To Get People To Take You Seriously</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-take-you-seriously/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-take-you-seriously/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 25 Dec 2010 12:52:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Conversation Skills Help]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Interpersonal Skills Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to Get People to Take You Seriously]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=771</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Even world leaders are not taken seriously all the time. However, when people are not taking you seriously there are some things you can do to let them know that you are serious and that they should respect that. Here are some points on how to get people to take you seriously. 1. Stand your [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Even world leaders are not taken seriously all the time. However, when people are not taking you seriously there are some things you can do to let them know that you are serious and that they should respect that.</p>
<p>Here are some points on how to get people to take you seriously.</p>
<p>1. Stand your ground if you deeply believe in what you are serious about</p>
<p>There will be people who will say that what you are serious about is nothing more than a joke; this will be especially true when those, with that negativity, don&#8217;t have all the facts. It could actually be that you know better than your doubters.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, you may well find yourself having to make a stand if it means that much to you. So people know you are serious, you must take a stand and hold that ground no matter what if you have a belief in what you want taken seriously.</p>
<p>Often when you hold your ground the other person might eventually see what you are trying to say to them, hopefully. If not, still hold on to how serious you are about whatever you want to be taken seriously.</p>
<p>2. Be assertive in letting people know you are serious</p>
<p>If you are wishy washy about anything you think you are serious about it sends a message that you are not serious about anything, which then of course speaks to your integrity.</p>
<p>So know what you are serious about and assert yourself in those directions of your belief. Think of being yourself and standing on the rock of who you are, and for what you believe in, and you will become assertive.</p>
<p>3. Have passion for what is serious to you and that passion will let people know that you are serious.</p>
<p>For example, if you are serious about helping society in some specific way, have a passion for that and people will see that you are serious about what you want to do.</p>
<p>4. Your behavior will send many signals of how serious you are.</p>
<p>If you are always goofing off and clowning around then it will make it difficult for people to take you seriously. If you think you are a &#8216;player&#8217; and behave like that not many people will be able to take you seriously.</p>
<p>If you sacrifice your dignity to be the center of attention you send the message that you have no personal values which you hold dear. A person without personal values is not a serious person. Your behavior speaks loudly and will have a profound effect on how seriously people will take you.</p>
<p>5. What you say and how you say it is another indicator of how serious you are.</p>
<p>Your words and behavior are intimately intertwined. If you say one thing and then do another then there will be a likely chance that no-one will be able to take you seriously.</p>
<p>Be consistent in your word and action if you want people to take you seriously.</p>
<p>How you say things is another sign of how serious you are. If you boisterously walk around saying you are going to this and that, without putting much action in to realise you are saying, not only will you be seen as not being serious, but obnoxious as well.</p>
<p>Serious people don`t need to advertise it to know they are serious. They are action oriented.</p>
<p>Getting people to take you seriously is ultimately up to you, especially as to how serious you take yourself. You have now been given a few points how to get people to take you seriously. Use them and you will find more people taking you seriously.</p>
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		<title>How To Get People To Shut Up</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-shut-up/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-shut-up/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Dec 2010 12:47:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Interpersonal Skills Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to Get People to Shut Up]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=768</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some people talk just to hear themselves talk, while others have to explain every minute detail of their lives. Some people never seem to shut up, no matter whether they are monopolising the conversation or you have a meeting to start or whatever. You will no doubt be familiar with these people because they are [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Some people talk just to hear themselves talk, while others have to explain every minute detail of their lives. Some people never seem to shut up, no matter whether they are monopolising the conversation or you have a meeting to start or whatever.</p>
<p>You will no doubt be familiar with these people because they are also the ones who can never let you finish your story before they unkindly interrupt you with a similar story that, to them, is even better.</p>
<p>However the person is talking to much, you can get them to shut up. You need to, if you are going to get them to listen to you.</p>
<p>People who can`t shut up generally just ramble on from subject to subject, even when the subject they are bouncing to has no relevance to the topic that is actually being talked about. These folks can be some of the most irritating people to be socialising with. They can, in a real sense, put a damper on an otherwise an enjoyable time, so to save you a lot of frustration you need to know how to cope with them.</p>
<p>How to get people to shut up can be a challenge, but it can be done. Here are some ideas that should help you.</p>
<p>1. Be serious without trying to offend when letting the person who can&#8217;t shut up know that they need to shut up. They need to know that you really want them to be quiet, but if you offend them it could be counterproductive, making them angry and aggressive and ultimately more of a problem than just talking a lot.</p>
<p>2. <a class="ld_link" href="http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-use-body-language-to-read-a-person-like-a-book/" target="_blank" title="Body language">Body language</a></p>
<p>There are many <a class="ld_link" href="http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-use-body-language-to-read-a-person-like-a-book/" target="_blank" title="body language">body language</a> signals you can send, along with gentle comments that could send the message, &#8220;Please shut up&#8221;, to the person who talks too much. If you are good enough about subtly letting them know enough is enough, you could save them some embarrassment, which would naturally offend them.</p>
<p>3. Try staring for a few seconds</p>
<p>Just stare at people who can&#8217;t seem to shut up to help them get the idea that they should stop talking now. A good stare, with a serious expression  on your face, will let them know that you are tired of listening to their noise.</p>
<p>4. Ignore them</p>
<p>This a powerful message to send to a person who just can&#8217;t keep their lips from flapping. The down side to ignoring anyone is that it is always taken as an offence.</p>
<p>5. Don&#8217;t laugh at the jokes of the people that you want to shut up</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t give them this approval, because it only gives them fuel and energy to keep talking because now people are laughing because of them.</p>
<p>Fortunately, most people who can`t shut up do catch on to the ignoring, the stares, and the lack of laughter at their jokes as a time to really shut up or exit stage left.</p>
<p>6. Walk away when nothing else works in shutting someone up</p>
<p>There is only so much any of us can take if we are faced with someone who just won&#8217;t shut up. When someone who is talking too much is really getting on your nerves you have two choices. The first is to confront them, which then can turn into something neither of you want, if you don&#8217;t implement the above steps very carefully with tact and diplomacy.</p>
<p>Or you can the difficult thing, but sometimes the right thing, and walk away. This may your only choice if you are worried that tackling the person any other way would provoke them to anger. That would help no-one.</p>
<p>How to get people to shut up is not all that easy at times. People who talk a lot can really get on your nerves and they can very hard to be around.</p>
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		<title>How To Get People To Respect You</title>
		<link>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-respect-you-2/</link>
		<comments>http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/how-to-get-people-to-respect-you-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:45:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>peter1510</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Interpersonal Skills Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How To Get People To Respect You]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/?p=765</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In everyday life there are two different kinds of respect that you can get from those you interact with. Whichever you should be due depends on the particular situation that you are in. However, the respect you get from other people is largely a result of the way that you behave. You can control how [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In everyday life there are two different kinds of respect that you can get from those you interact with. Whichever you should be due depends on the particular situation that you are in. However, the respect you get from other people is largely a result of the way that you behave. You can control how to get people to respect you.</p>
<p>One type of respect is earned respect and involves emotions like love and admiration. Earned respect takes time to cultivate and is based on things like confidence, trustworthiness, values, and the beliefs of the person that one has this kind of respect for. Earned respect is based more on the knowing of someone over a long period of time.</p>
<p>Normative respect is the other kind of respect that is given to someone and is the most common type of respect that people give to people that they don&#8217;t know. For example, a man may open a door for a woman he doesn&#8217;t know. Normative respect is also a respect given because of a person&#8217;s status, not necessarily for the kind of person they are. For example, most people have respect for a policeman, the law, or for their boss. Normative respect is based more on duty.</p>
<p>Here in this article, we are mainly concerned with earned respect.</p>
<p>In the workplace, the family home or in everyday life, the ideal type of respect to gain from your peers, managers and employees is of course earned respect. However, if you are a manager or supervisor you will gain normative respect from most of your employees because of your status. But, as was indicated earlier, earned respect takes time to acquire because it involves the demonstration of behaviours and attitudes.</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s look at some ways to gain earned respect.</p>
<p>1. Talk Less and Listen More</p>
<p>Rather than talking about how good you are something (which just sounds like boasting), show other people how good you are in your actions. If you are behaving in the right way you won&#8217;t need to verbally justify your actions.</p>
<p>Additionally, you don&#8217;t need to speak up about every little thing that takes place around you. Be selective about what things are worthy of your input.</p>
<p>Everybody likes to be heard and when you patiently listen to those talking to you, then you are showing your interest, concern and appreciation for them. Moreover, listening is complimentary to talking. When you thoroughly listen to someone you become more able to properly influence them when you do talk.</p>
<p>2. Show Sincere Appreciation</p>
<p>Sincere appreciation and flattery are two quite different things. You might use flattery on someone at the local bar to get their attention to let them know you are interested in them. Sincere appreciation, on the other hand, is not about receiving a reciprocal response. It&#8217;s about recognising good behaviours and actions in another person and complimenting them for it in a genuine manner. When you see people around you who deserve appreciation, you should give it generously and without flattery. They will respect you for it</p>
<p>3. Honesty</p>
<p>If you are dishonest or untruthful you will never gain genuine respect from the people around you. If you are dishonest they may give you normative respect because of your position but you will never earn real respect. If something goes wrong and you are responsible, step up and take that responsibility without shifting the blame elsewhere. You will be much better respected for it in the long term.</p>
<p>4. Have Self Respect</p>
<p>Having self respect is perhaps the most important component of earning respect from others. Without self respect, there is no way you can respect others and behave in ways to earn their respect in turn.</p>
<p>So, knowing the difference between the two kinds of respect, normative and earned, you can also gain an understanding of some ways to gain genuine respect in your life. Apply these tips to your daily lives you can easily find yourself much better respected, and as a result, much happier.</p>
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