Communication Skills Power

by Peter Murphy

Whether you like it or not sometimes people will ignore you
or pretend they are listening to you when they are not. As
you know this can be very frustrating.

So what can you do?

The first thing to remember is that there is no point in
continuing to do what is not working. If what you are doing
is ineffective take a moment to accept that fact.

Shift your focus away from pushing to be heard and instead
get creative and ask yourself…

How can I attract attention?

Here are 4 great ideas for attracting attention when you
want to be listened to:

1. Speak more softly

This sounds counter intuitive but can be highly effective
if you had attention initially . Think about it. When
someone is speaking and you cannot hear what is being said
doesn´t that arouse your curiosity?

Of course it does!

And most people will ask you to speak up as long as they
are not preoccupied doing something else. The secret is to
speak with enthusiasm and energy but very softly. This can
ignite an intense urgent curiosity that forces the other
person to pay very close attention to you.

When you speak more softly the other person has no choice -
she must pay close attention to you. This is a great way to
take control of the conversation.

2. Stop talking

If the other person is pretending to listen to you it is
good to stop talking. Stop and wait to see how the other
person reacts.

Let the silence linger until he encourages you to resume.
If he says nothing at all you can then ask for feedback on
what you said.

This puts the other person under pressure to start paying
more attention to what you are saying.

3. Create a diversion

When the other person is clearly not paying attention it is
good to break that pattern by creating a diversion. This
can take many forms such as asking for input, saying
something controversial or doing something silly.

For example you could ask an unusual question that forces
someone to pay attention and respond in some way. Maybe out
of the blue you ask someone: what is your favorite flavor
of ice cream?

Yes, it has nothing to do with the ongoing conversation and
for this reason it breaks the pattern - you are speaking
and the other person is not really paying attention.

Once you recapture attention you can then get back on
topic. Obviously you need to be careful with this concept
and adapt it to the context and people you are talking to.

4. Vary volume, tempo and tone

When you add variety to the way you are expressing yourself
it is very hard to ignore you. It´s like when you hear good
music it forces you to listen because of the variance in
tempo, rhythm and tone. The same applies to speaking in an
interesting way.

Play with emphasizing key words, pause for dramatic effect
and talk more quickly or more slowly to keep the other
person paying attention.

It takes a little practice to get this right and when you
do people will find it very difficult to not give you their
undivided attention.

Developing these people skills may require some work and
dedication, depending on the extent of help you need. One
of the most important parts of being a “people person” is
to be a positive thinker who is optimistic, motivated and
projects a positive image and attitude.

You should work every day to send out positive and creative
signals to others by your words, actions and body language.
The way you act can have either a negative or positive
impact on others as well as yourself.

If you want to succeed in both your personal and
professional life, or further develop your people skills,
it is crucial to change from a pattern of destructive,
negative thoughts to positive, creative thinking.

Don’t hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start. Communicating with
confidence can be learned…

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It only took me 14 years to figure out the fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills? There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today. P.S. the key to greater
success and happiness in life is simple - make new friends,
develop new contacts, help others and let others help you.
Without better people skills we all get stuck where we are.

by Peter Murphy

1 Listen effectively

How many people do you know who truly listen to every word
you say? Think about the people you enjoy being with the
most. Isn´t it true they really pay close attention to you
when you have something important to say?

It´s a shame but very few people care enough to really
listen attentively to the people in their life. They get so
busy and caught up in their own problems that they are
rarely completely present for anyone.

When you develop superior listening skills you will be head
and shoulders above most other people who know better but
still don´t listen.

Being a great listener is a sure fire way to make new
friends, to make people feel deeply appreciated and to
build deep rapport grounded in mutual trust and respect.

2 Know your purpose

Quality communication requires you to know not only what
you want to discuss but also why you want to talk about
that topic. A clear and definite sense of purpose will
guide you and help you to be flexible in your approach.

Mediocre and poor standards of communication share a lack
of purpose that destroys any potential for meaningful
effective communication.

You need a clear sense of purpose to ensure you persist and
maintain flexibility when the dialogue goes off track. It
is far too easy to let the conversation drift unless you
hold in mind your purpose.

Your purpose might be to win acceptance of an idea, to get
a friend to do something for you or it might be to arrange
a family day out.

Whatever the nature of the discussion unless you know your
purpose you are unlikely to achieve what you set out to get
done.

3 Share your insights and opinions

You are a unique individual with interesting personal
viewpoints and a perspective all of your own. You must have
the courage to express yourself as you are to truly be
effective.

The world does not need another clone of someone else. Sing
your song or the whole world misses out on your special
sound.

The confidence to be yourself can be developed quickly and
easily with the right guidance and appropriate strategies.

And it is essential that you do so right away. It is far
too easy to let another week, month or year slip by without
any noticeable improvement in your life.

Decide to share more of yourself and make a point of
letting others know what you think and feel. Do so with
rapport and you may well find that people are very
interested to hear what you have to say.

4 Make sure you have a common understanding

High quality communication is characterized by an ongoing
dialogue that is punctuated by checks for understanding by
all parties to the conversation.

Each person must check that everyone involved is singing
off the same hymn sheet or else the potential for
misunderstanding and confusion is huge.

The failure to check assumptions are valid and that the
other people present know what you mean takes skill and
constant attention to both verbal and non verbal cues.

In many ways a free flowing conversation is very much like
driving a car. Unless you are watching for feedback and
aware of what is going on you will not be able to steer the
conversation and keep it on track.

Now, bear in mind that confidence is the glue that binds
these conversation tips together to ensure your success.

If you feel good about yourself, if you feel confident and
at ease others assume you to be confident and at ease. They
then respect you more. And all because you decided to
respect yourself.

But, when you are fearful you give off different vibes and
because you are avoiding people they tend to avoid you.

And this is why you must identify and let go of your
conversation fear - the fear that stops you from enjoying
the company of others.

Drop the fear and notice how people are much more
interested in getting to know you better. Why? Because you
are letting your true personality shine.

What can you do right now to beat conversation fear?

Review the Conversation Fear report that comes with my
book. Click here now:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

If you ever know what to say and still cannot speak up it
is because fear has gotten the better of you. This fear
will not go away until you know how to eliminate it. I show
you three ways in that report.

And make sure you are up to date on the 15 ways to start
and keep a conversation going. I showed you how to do this
in the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report
that you get with my book.

Click here to trial the system for 365 days:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Have a great day,

Peter Murphy

P.S. Remember, this is a course that requires you to put
the strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and
your success is assured.

My step-by-step course reveals the secret strategies all
high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact.
Apply now for your 365 day trial at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

The ability to make a great first impression is a valuable
life skill that can help you to have all you want in life -
in business and socially.

As you improve your people skills you can expect greater
happiness, more success and an abundance of opportunities
for personal growth. That is, once you have identified and
eliminated the most common barriers to great conversation.

Let´s identify the five common mistakes people make when
meeting new people.

1. Trying too hard to be liked

Although we all want to be liked, ironically, the worst way
to win approval is to desperately need it. When you are too
needy it repels people. They sense that you do not value
yourself and as a result they are more likely to treat you
harshly.

Thankfully there is a solution. The more you love and
approve of yourself the more others will tend to like you.

People reflect back what you feel about yourself so make a
point of building your self-esteem and notice the positive
change in how pleased people are to meet you.

2. Pretending to be something you are not

In our efforts to impress new people it can be tempting to
suddenly reinvent ourselves so as to make a good first
impression. This tactic rarely works because it is very
difficult to project a false persona unless you are a very
good actor.

Very often all that happens is that you feel tense and
under pressure to play the role you have invented while the
other person is unable to trust you. Invariably you fail to
make a good first impression and even risk making a fool of
yourself.

It is far better to be natural and to express your true
personality. When you do so with confidence others will be
much more likely to accept and like you for who you really
are.

Think about it.

It is much easier to like and respect someone who is
genuine and honest about who they are. In fact being
authentic is one of the most attractive qualities you can
develop.

3. Prejudging the other person

We all do it at times. We take one look at someone and
decide before even talking to him what kind of person he is.

Call it mind reading if you like but making such
assumptions and pre judements can severely affect how much
fun you have meeting new people.

This attitude can stop you from approaching people, cause
you to miss out on making new friends and make it difficult
for new people to get your undivided attention when getting
to know you.

A more practical approach is to allow each person the
opportunity to speak before you decide what the person is
all about. And make sure to switch off your assumptions for
a moment to really listen to what is being said.

4. Talking too much and not listening

Sometimes because of nerves it can be tempting to keep
talking to ensure there are no awkward silences. The
trouble with this habit is that eventually you stop
listening when the other person is speaking because you use
that times to think of what to say next.

Let the other person share the load. Give her an
opportunity to lead the conversation, listen closely to
what is said and then develop the conversation based on
what she has contributed.

When you do this, meeting new people is a lot less
stressful — making conversation becomes a team effort
rather than a struggle to keep talking.

5. Letting the other person control the conversation

When you meet someone for the first time it is reasonable
to expect some breaks in the conversation until you
discover topics of common interest.

Remaining passive during these pauses means waiting for the
other person to either drive the conversation forward or
end it. If you adopt this attitude you are giving up
control of the conversation.

Take back control. You can do this in two ways: either ask
questions to move the dialogue along or be adventurous and
introduce new topics of conversation. You will be more
relaxed when you notice how much control you really have.

And if all else fails bear in mind it is also your choice
whether to continue or wrap up the conversation.

Start acting on these five key distinctions today and
notice how much easier and more enjoyable it can be meeting
new people.

And… get the best resource on this topic at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/