Believe it or not, starting a conversation with someone you do not know is easier than you might think. Here are some ideas that can help you with what to say when meeting new people.

1. Say something interesting

Part of knowing what to say begins with discovering what the other person is interested in. This discovery can actually become a lead to talking about mutual interests.

This is actually easier than you think. For example, anyone who plays golf wants to improve their game. If you are a golfer and have some pointers about the game this could be a topic to talk about when meeting someone new who is also a golfer.

2. Compliments

Complimenting someone is a sure way to get them to smile and acknowledge you. It will also open the door for you to start a conversation with them. Men are a little different to women when it comes to compliments, however. They do like them, but they like compliments about their abilities rather than their appearance. Women tend to smile at either kind of compliment, so long as you do mot appear overtly sexual about it.

3. Be courteous

Anytime you talk to anyone you should be courteous and this fact is even more so when meeting and talking to new people. When you are courteous in your conversation it sends the message to the other person that you have respect for other people. When first talking to someone you should always refrain from using foul and/or offensive language.

4. Use your surroundings

You may have to interest the other person if you want to engage them in a conversation with you, but you do not have to be too clever about it. When meeting new people, your aim should be in getting a conversation started. Say something which it is easy for the other person to respond to, such as using your surroundings.

You can remark upon an item of decor or the event which has brought you together. Make your comment positive and open-ended, so that the other person feels that their response is wanted and they can answer as they wish to.

5. Hello!

Although this is dealt with last, you should introduce yourself with a cheerful greeting right at the start of meeting new people. People will feel more connected to you if you have broken the ice and told them your name. They may not remember your name, and do not be offended if they do not, but the fact that you have given it to them will make you appear friendly and will make people feel more at ease in talking to you.

In this article you have learned some ideas about what to say when meeting someone new. But in doing so you should have discovered that it is not so much what you say that is important, so much as the fact that you need to be polite and courteous.

It is more of a matter of how you present yourself and how you speak to someone you have just met that counts. Practically any subject can make a good ice breaker so be creative and confident when you think about what you want to say when meeting new people.

Here are some ways to find a balance and introduce yourself in a way that gives a good first impression:

1. Mention a mutual friend

When you are in the situation where you want to meet someone but you’re unsure as to how to break the ice, ask yourself if the two of you have a friend in common.

Even if that person is not there, you can walk up to the person and say, “Don’t you know so-and-so?” When they say yes, you can then use that as a springboard to introducing yourself to them.

2. Dive right in

On the other hand, if you see someone at a place (bar, social gathering, church meeting), and you do not know them at all, the direct approach can be the best. You just walk right up to the person and say, “How do you do? My name is (fill in the blank)” After that, you can then launch into what it is you want to talk to them about.

3. The business deal

If you are looking to talk to the person about a business matter, the key is to get to the point; you’re not going to win points by engaging in chitchat. Step up to the person, offer them your hand for a firm handshake, and say, “Good day, Mr/Ms (blank); my name is (blank). Could I speak to you for a moment?”

4. The flirt

When it comes to chasing a man/woman in a social setting for the purposes of a date, you want to be fun and flirty, but not lame.

In years gone past something like, “Hey, baby, what’s your (astrological) sign?” was the height of cool. A much better approach these days is the compliment. Or, if you’re in a museum or party or some other social setting, compliment something in the room.

In the case of the former, something like, “You have such lovely eyes.” Or if the person is very professional, “That is a sharp suit; where’d you get it?” would go down well. You can also always offer to buy them a drink.

With the latter situations, you could point out a very nice piece of artwork in the room or some other pleasant feature and say, “That piece of art is lovely; what do you think?”

In a place like a bookstore, asking someone their opinion as to a new book can also be a good way of introducing yourself to them: “I hear the new (blank) just came out. Have you read it?”

5. Reminding them

If you’ve met someone in the past, but they don’t remember you, the subtle reminder is what to say when introducing yourself to someone.

You could say, “I know you; we met at (fill in the blank).” If they don’t remember you, you simply tell them your name and mention details of your previous interaction.

6. Asking for directions

This can be most helpful when you want to meet someone in a totally generic location.

You see a man/woman in a diner, outside a store, on the street, and so on. With no hint as to their personality, stepping up to them and saying, “Excuse me, do you know where (blank) is?” can be a good icebreaker.

Next time you’re meeting someone for the first time, it can be an easy process. The key to knowing what to say when introducing yourself to someone is gauging the situation, and making use of the best item from this list.

We all need to be liked, we all need to know we fit in and we all want an opportunity to have our voice heard. Because this is true for everyone you will ever meet you now know how to be a good friend to anyone you ever talk to. Simply make a point of liking people and let them know you are interested in them and you`ll notice people want to spend more time with you, they want to get to know you better and they enjoy talking to you much more.

Liking people is often a decision. You decide to find things to like about the person you are talking to and this positive focus on what you like changes how you interact and makes you genuinely interested in finding out more about the person you have just met. People pick up on this positive attitude and open up to you, the conversation flows and you enjoy getting to know people.

What happens if you don`t like who you are talking to? Then it gets a little more challenging but the same principle still applies – look for what you can like about the person. Find even a few small things to like and it can take the edge off the the dislike you have for who you are talking to. This is important.

If you dislike someone they will pick up on this rejection and this can cause a downward spiral with each person treating the other one harshly. Before you know it you are stuck in a very tense and uncomfortable conversation.

This is why it is good to look for what you can like about someone from the moment you meet. Right away listen carefully, take a good look at the person and find qualities and features you like. This could include general appearance, fashion sense, accent, voice tone, common interests or even something as simple as eye colour.

Then, while enjoying the conversation continue to pay attention to those likeable characteristics and you`ll notice that this positive attitude generalises to the whole person. You become more open minded and accepting of whoever you are talking to.

When this happens you will be feeling that you like this person. You might even be saying to yourself in your mind. “I like this person!” When this happens you`ll be more relaxed, you`ll smile more and the other person will feel accepted and liked.

One great way to keep this positive momentum alive is to quietly say to yourself in your mind: “I like you!” Do this as you talk and listen to the other person and you`ll find more qualities to like and feel more connected to whoever you are with. This sounds too simple to work but try it for yourself and you`ll see it changes the dynamics of any conversation.

We all want to be liked so take charge and decide to like the people you meet. Easy and highly effective, this one slight change in outlook will cause people to like you as well. When they feel accepted and approved of they simply like you because you already like them!

If you`d like more advanced strategies for overcoming the fear of rejection take a look at my simple solution here:

How To Get Over Fear Of Rejection

Imagine my surprise when she said: “I get very bored and lonely!”
As a divorced middle aged woman Jane is active, busy and proactive
yet she feels like that. How could that be?

She explained that where she lives in Boulder, Colorado, many close
friends have left and moved to other states over the years. And
Jane doesn`t get out to socialise that much. Over time she has lost
many good friends and not met new people to spend time with.

Busy And Frustrated

Of course Jane is not the only one. For so many of us a busy life
can leave us unfulfilled and unhappy unless we have great people to
spend time with. The day to day interactions at work and in our
community keep us in touch with people but these conversations
often lack depth and meaning.

Having someone who cares enough to listen when you have a bad day,
the joy of sharing your success with good friends and the security
that comes from knowing you have people you can count on – all of
these factors give you the confidence to keep on going.

On the other hand success at home and at work can be shallow and
lonely if we do not have people we can connect with. Do you have
good friends who really listen to you? Do you have special people
who call you just because they want to hear your voice?

Boredom and loneliness can cloud your day and make life a real drag
if you cannot make new friends and develop deeper friendships with
those people you already spend time with.

What Stops You?

Even intelligent, interesting people like Jane get to a point where
they give up. They lose hope and stop trying. They get used to
living a life that is empty so they stay busy and ignore the
problem. This solves nothing.

In fact the situation may even get worse. Over time your
confidence dealing with people can fade until it even affects the
few friendships you count on for a social life. You get so used to
infrequent quality time with your closest friends that staying
bored and lonely seems normal.

What Can You Do?

1. Make It A Priority To Meet New People

Get involved in activities that interest you and give you
enjoyment. Do if for the fun and laughs you will have and to meet
new people along the way. This could mean putting time into a
sport, a charity or some other activity in your community that will
involve meeting a lot of people.

I have even heard of someone getting a bar job when he moved to a
new city to quickly meet a lot of people. You get the point – do
something you will enjoy, to meet like minded people with that
common interest. This takes care of knowing what to talk about and
what to do. No awkward moments wondering what these new people
are all about.

Once you get used to meeting new people in new situations it gets
easier and easier. You get better at reading people, you feel more
comfortable and it even becomes a lot of fun. Practice, practice,
practice… and what was once a lot of effort will become a high point
of the week.

2. Change Your Socialising Habits

We all tend to get into a routine that is helpful when it comes to
doing all that needs to be done each day however that can really
limit our chances of meeting interesting new people if we never go
to new places or try new activities.

Make a decision to do new things each week. Find out what is going
on in your town and schedule attending a concert, signing up for a
class or joining a club. Take a friend and get used to being in new
places and meeting even a few new people each week.

At first it can be uncomfortable moving out of your comfort zone
but as long as you are choosing to only get involved in activities
you are genuinely interested in then you´re likely to enjoy
yourself. Even if you only meet one interesting person to chat with
its worth it. Meeting one new person with similar interests is fun,
much more fun than trying to make conversation with a hundred
people who do not share your interests.

Boredom and loneliness can affect anyone especially busy people
because all that running around leaves little space for quality
time doing what you really want to do and even less time to spend
lost in conversation with people you enjoy talking to.

The solution is simple. Try new activities that interest you and
meet new people on your wavelength. Make that a part of every week
and you`ll have much more fun and the joy of connecting with
wonderful people who enjoy your company just as much as you enjoy
talking to them.