Archive for the 'Self Conscious Help' Category

5 Simple Shyness Tips

Monday, May 2nd, 2005

If you are one of the many individuals affected by shyness,
you will find the following shyness tips useful for your
daily social life.

These tips are meant to help you overcome those situations
when you feel your hands and feet tied by the lack of
security to act or say something. Use these shyness tips as
the basis for improving your social skills.

Social and emotional shyness affects many more people than
you imagine and most of them surely need a few of our
shyness tips to help them get by in this over-competitive
society.

Because we know the importance of being able to overcome
shyness in several aspects of our life, we compiled a list
of shyness tips based on advice by specialists and common
people alike.

Read on. You will find the following tips useful:

1. Tell people about your shyness. Many people who “suffer”
from shyness tend to avoid eye contact and more than often
seem arrogant by doing so.

By telling people you are shy, you are giving them the true
reason why you seem so evasive and distant and that will
improve your social interaction with certain people.

2. Take adult community education classes. Why? Because the
odds are that in those classes you will find that more than
a half of the students suffer form the same distress as you.

In addition, the adult community classes will get you going
on social interaction with your peers and will be a great
pretext to get you out of your house and start practicing
interaction.

The fact that your class mates are also shy people will
help you understand that you are not alone on this one.

3. Reward yourself. Every time you succeed on overcoming
your shyness, treat yourself with something you love. Go
out and eat a huge ice-cream, if that is your taste.

Remember to, literally, reward yourself every time you move
a step closer to overcome shyness. This will motivate you
to keep working your social and emotional skills.

4. Visualize being at ease in a social event. Visualization
can be a powerful tool when used with persistence. When you
are at your home, where you feel secure and confident, try
to visualize social situations where you would usually feel
shy.

Than imagine yourself enjoying that situation and being at
ease in that context. Practice this visualization often and
keep your focus on visualizing yourself more confident and
enjoying social interaction.

5. Elaborate a mental list of interesting conversation
topics. Before you leave home, make sure you have a
well-defined list of topics that you know other people will
find interesting. That way you will find yourself more
confident and at ease in a conversation.

Remember to keep your efforts steady if you really want to
overcome shyness. The above shyness tips won’t help you if
you don’t make a real effort to help yourself.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

How To Build Self-Confidence To Improve Your Life

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

One of the best personal attributes one can have is self-confidence. A positive relationship with others fosters a sense of self-worth that contributes to the image you have of yourself. Even if you are shy and retiring, you can develop the self-confidence you need to propel you from obscurity into a place of honor within your circle of acquaintances.Self-confidence can help you develop new friends, and may even help you get that promotion you want at work. Recent research shows that supervisors value your attitude more than your actual knowledge about your job. The job can be learned, but an attitude is a personality trait that comes naturally to those who are self-confident. If you are not self-confident, there are techniques that can help you build self-confidence.

1. You have to invest time to learn how to build self-confidence. Even those who appear to be very self-confident have faced situations where they were not comfortable in groups and felt alone and rejected. Observe the actions of self-confident people and make their personality traits yours as well. You can imitate their actions and slowly learn to develop your own personality traits that lead to self-confidence.

2. Most people dread walking into a room filled with strangers, either at work, conferences or parties. It is difficult to appear to be forceful and confident, but if you practice putting on a happy face, it will soon become second nature for you to do so (and may even help you actually be happy). Attend social functions even though you’d rather stay at home reading a book. Practice your confidence-building techniques until they become part of your personality.

3. Appearances count for a lot in projecting an image of a self-confident individual. When interacting with others, don’t stay glued to the wall. Mingle with others and initiate conversations in a friendly, interested manner. Even though you may be quaking with insecurities inside, if you appear self-confident it becomes easier to converse with others and will also make you more approachable.

4. When you project a self-assured image, you’ll find that others respond in a positive manner to your overtures of friendship. Don’t be afraid to join a group or activity that is already in progress. You have something to contribute, and others will know it.

5. We’ve all admired and envied the person who has the “gift of gab.” They appear to effortlessly engage in conversation in any group on any subject. These people aren’t necessarily born with this ability. For most people it is an acquired trait that is learned over a period of time. It is important to be in tune with others by observing their expressions, their emotions and body language to know whether they are approachable or genuinely want to be left alone. Remember, though, that even a loner will appreciate a friendly greeting.

6. Being a good conversationalist is essential when learning how to build self-confidence. Off-the-wall comments, while they do have their place perhaps during a lull in the conversation, are generally avoided. Your contributions to a conversation need to be on target with the subject being discussed. Easing into a conversation gradually after listening for a few minutes is preferable to simply butting in. Watch for an opening in the conversation to introduce yourself and make a comment or two; don’t hog the conversation.

The process of building self-confidence can be a long, arduous process that takes time. Be prepared for rejection some of the time but don’t take it as a personal rebuff. Keep up your self-confident image and practice what you’ve learned about building self-confidence. It will soon come naturally to you.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Helpful Ways To Beat Shyness

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

Over half of all adults identify themselves as shy. Shyness can get in the way of developing personal relationships and professional aspirations. Some people are afraid to simply walk into a room and surround themselves with strangers. Some shy people hate eating in front of others and some hate parties or other types of social occasions. The fact is that there are many ways to beat shyness if you have the desire and the willpower.Shyness is more common than most people realize. Shy people are not necessarily introverts, some are extroverts who happen to be shy. If shyness is keeping you from advancing in your career or maintaining personal relationships, there are various ways to beat shyness and become the outgoing person you would like to be.

1. Realizing that shyness is a problem for you is the first step in overcoming it. List your good qualities and enjoy the fact that you have many good points that can help you overcome your shyness problem. Pick one thing you’d like to change about yourself and focus on that one thing until you succeed in making positive changes. Systematically dealing with one issue at a time will help you become the person you want to be and overcome your shyness.

2. Each day identify one thing you can do to help yourself overcome shyness. It can be a simple thing like making eye contact with the clerk at your local grocery store or striking up a conversation with a stranger on the bus. You do not have to execute your plan perfectly every day. Just continue to take baby steps and reward yourself along the way for each obstacle you overcome.

3. Sometimes its not really shyness that is the problem. Occasionally a lack of social skills lead people to believe they are shy when in reality they just do not have the tools and knowledge to develop appropriate social behaviors. If a lack of social skills is keeping your self-esteem low and making your life miserable, search for one of the many sources of information that are designed to help you develop your social skills and overcome shyness. There are many informative publications that deal with these issues and you may find just the right tips on ways to beat shyness that will allow you to alleviate your social discomfort, expand your circle of friends, and support professional advancement.

4. There are numerous ways to beat shyness and not every suggestion or idea will work for everyone. Find the tools that are the most helpful to you personally and use these tools to the best of your ability. Overcoming shyness will not happen instantly or overnight. It takes perseverance and a desire to succeed if you truly want to overcome shyness and learn to interact easily and naturally with other people.

Shyness often causes a person to withdraw from society altogether. Do not let shyness rule your life. Start slowly and make small changes each step of the way. You will be able to see your progress with each negative personality trait you change into a positive one. Soon enough all the effort you put into changing your life will become evident to not only you, but to all those around you.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com