If you`d like more advanced strategies for overcoming the fear of rejection take a look at my simple solution here:

How To Get Over Fear Of Rejection

1. A great post where communication consultant speak on How to communicate your credibility to generate business.

http://www.angelabetts.com/blog/2007/05/04/credible-business-communication/

2. Ian’s Messy Desk has a good post about controlling your body language for effective communication.

http://www.ismckenzie.com/05/15/control-your-body-language-for-effective-communication/

3. Lindsey Pollak talks on Why Shy People Make Great Networkers in her cool blog.

http://lindseypollak.blogspot.com/search/label/Huffington%20Post 

4. Learn boosting your self esteem with Emotional Freedom Techniques from the EFT Joy blog.

http://eftjoy.com/blog/category/shyness/

5. Social Skills for Children with ADD found in Adult ADD Strengths blog.

http://adultaddstrengths.com/2005/10/08/social-skills-for-children-with-add/

6. Zerointelligenc.net talks about school is good for building social skills.

http://www.zerointelligence.net/archives/000520.php

7. Elliot Lee has an interesting post about Geek’s Social Skills.

http://www.intelliot.com/blog/archives/2004/03/11/geeks-social-skills/

The first thing that a shy person has to acknowledge is that he tends to avoid social situations because of his shyness. Taking that first step is a major factor that helps in solving shyness. The irony is that many shy people actually want to be involved in group interaction but do not know how.

Second, a shy person should try to immerse himself in specific social situations to give himself, and others, a chance to interact. A shy person who attends a party will probably hover at the periphery for a few minutes then leave. To counter this, a shy person must give himself more time to meet people.

At a party, he could post himself at the buffet and strike up a conversation with someone about the food and drinks being served. Nothing heavy like politics, just simple chitchat to tide things over until he can find someone who has something in common with him. He might run into someone he knows and turn to that person for a new topic to talk about. He can ask simple questions like: how is your family? Little things like this will help the shy person become more used to interacting with other people by degrees.

It does no good for a shy person to try to arrive late at the occasion, hoping that the less time he spends in the social event, the better it will be for him. That is counter-productive. A better solution is to arrive much earlier than expected, so he can get a chance to meet more people. Of course, this may be daunting to a shy person, so perhaps he can try arriving 30 minutes after the party starts first. Then he can move up to arriving right on time, and eventually to arriving maybe 10 minutes before the expected time.

Shy people are known for maintaining a smaller comfort zone than people who are more confident. This means they have fewer friends and acquaintances with whom they feel comfortable. Usually, a shy person will engage in routine activities with this small network of people over and over again because they do not like to try new things out with new people.

Though a shy person should not pressure himself about overcoming his shyness, he could opt to expand his circle to include new contacts and acquaintances. He could try new things, like hobbies or sports that people in his new circle are fond of pursuing. This is good, because not only does it give the shy person something new to do, it gives him something new to talk about with his old circle of friends aside from the same old routine.

Although it would be nice if there were a magic pill for solving shyness, the fact is, there is none. Still, by following the tips above you can make steady progress and enjoy a happy social life.
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Cause of shyness:

Why are some people shy while others seem more confident? People are shy because they are quite preoccupied with what they are feeling and thinking, and how their body reacts when they are exposed to certain social situations. Many times, the shy person may perceive that he is being unfairly treated even when other people are not making fun of him – this is because of his shyness. The shy person may then avoid the people or the situation that caused him to feel bad.

For example, if he associates colleagues who gather at the water cooler and who start laughing with a negative thought (such as: they are laughing at me), he will probably avoid going to the water cooler or even stop talking to his co-workers altogether. It does not matter if the thought is based on reality or not: the point is, the person thinks this and obsesses about it, thus making his mild shyness much worse.

Effects of shyness:

A shy adult will have a hard time progressing in the adult world where he is expected to work independently. Such a person may find it difficult to talk to clients about projects assigned to him. Or he may dither about approaching a superior for a well-deserved raise. So, we can see that shyness may bar a person from progressing in his occupation. He may brood about this and become depressed. So he winds up with two problems: shyness and depression.

Shyness can also affect the interpersonal relationships a shy person has (or does not have) with others. Colleagues may think he is weird because he does not join in normal everyday conversations. He may find even a simple greeting with a woman he likes to be a hardship, so he becomes lonely.

Even simple chores like going to the Laundromat or the grocery store could be avoided because he does not want to talk to other people. His relationship with his own relatives might suffer because he does not feel confident even with them. So family and friends may not understand why he avoids them – such is the impact of shyness on relationships.

When does shyness crop up?

Carducci believes that shyness generally manifests itself when the shy person is going through a period of change. A person may become shy when his marriage ends, or he gets laid off from his job, or he relocates to a new neighborhood. More severe causes of shyness could be the death of a loved one, or a tragedy such as when his childhood home burns down. The point is, the change is pretty drastic so the person resorts to withdrawal to protect himself. Shyness is often a coping mechanism that adults resort to, to prevent being hurt again.

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Negative coping mechanisms:

There are some people who resort to negative ways to solve their shyness. They may opt to take drugs which allegedly can relieve feelings of shyness (even though no such drug exists.) Because shy people may get depressed by their inability to have normal relationships with other people, they may opt to take anti-depressants – that is a very bad idea because anti-depressants are meant to help people whose depression has deeper causes then simple shyness.

Others abuse alcohol because they think they can drown their sorrows in liquor and the shyness will go away. Or they drink because someone may have told them that drinking makes one bolder because you lose your inhibitions. Some may foolishly take drugs and alcohol together – a combination which has fatal results.

Taking illegal drugs such as marijuana and cocaine is another step some shy people resort to but which only leaves them addicted. That is why drug abuse is so common in Hollywood – many well-known personalities think that their shyness will become less obvious or disappear onstage if they take illegal drugs. You may be surprised how many popular celebrities are actually painfully shy off-camera.

Coping properly with shyness:

Shyness can be dealt with if you use the right methods. Try to meet new people aside from the same old faces you see everyday. This may necessitate taking new routes going home – use a different bus and strike up a conversation with the bus driver. Try cycling or walking through other neighborhoods and compliment homeowners who are tending their gardens about how beautiful their roses seem to be growing.

If a new family moves in the neighborhood, ring their doorbell and present them with a cake or a pie to welcome them (even store-bought sweets will do if you do not bake.) Go to church – people who worship God are usually approachable people who will not make fun of you, even if you have another problem such as stuttering that may compound your shyness.

Go to public events, like parades and concerts. You will be surprised how easy it is to converse with strangers if you share the same interests. Compare notes on how well this band seems to be developing, and how many of their CDs you each have in your personal collections.

Even relatives may be complete strangers to you if your shyness has kept you from interacting with them. Hunt down the phone number of a cousin you find nice enough and call her up, ask her how her children are, if her husband still works at that job he hates. Try to stay in touch with family because they will usually be the first to rush to your aid when you get in trouble – and not just because you want to practice conversing with someone.

You may be surprised how many of your friends are still your friends after you have neglected them if you did not solve shyness. Do take the time to keep in touch or renew ties with them so that you do not get rejected in the future.

free communication skills report