Category Archives: Social Skills Help

What are Social Skills?

social skills are described as definite approaches applied by an individual to carry out social functions effectively and eventually be regarded as socially acceptable. Your behavior and interactions with others are indicators that reveal your status in the community you are in, if you are likely to be a friend or partner, and more importantly if they see you as a future potential asset to a company.

In practical terms, what are social skills?

1. A one on one communication where listening is a give and take interaction and each party intends to understand the messages conveyed.

2. A skill that is acquired through continuous learning. As you interact you begin to learn the aspects of personality of the person you are talking to. You begin to understand the person as to where he or she is coming from and you try to put yourself in his shoes as he relates his past experiences. You are able to draw out impressions of what he is really like and you try to act in a way that is within the appropriate norms.

3. Socials skills have two aspects – verbal and non-verbal. A person with good verbal social skills knows how to say the appropriate things at the right time, has the ability to communicate freely and get the conversation flowing smoothly, is capable of using the appropriate vocal tone and quality and able to convey the message in an educated and understandable manner.

A person with good non-verbal skills knows how to use bodily movement at an appropriate time. Your gestures enable you to convey your message clearly through actions. Your posture, your eye contact, your voice tone and facial expression are non-verbal social skills. Please take note that too many gestures can over kill. Do not over do it.

4. Social skills are influenced by culture and by a particular social group. A person’s social skills are based on how he or she was brought up. Most often, our behavior is brought about by our culture. A person’s social skills differ from one another. A kiss and hug on the cheek as a welcome gesture may not be a socially accepted gesture in some conservative countries.

5. Your social skills will improve as your self-esteem and worth are reinforced. It feels good to be rewarded with praise from others. One tends to be motivated and relaxed in carrying out the task when there is support at hand.

How you behave during interactions, how you put your words together, your adaptability to the environment you are in, and the way you handle matters at hand are factors that determine how your personality is judged. It is not enough to have the ready smile and feel confident. It’s not about looks; it’s not about what you know that draws people to like you. It is all about who you are, what you do, how you do things and how others see you that you are judged. Learning what social skills are will help you get the reward of feeling accepted. Step forward and be recognized.
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A Useful 4 Point Social Skills Checklist for Better Conversation

As you try to improve your social skills, an invaluable way to monitor your progress and check how your abilities have improved so far in your social interaction, is the use of a social skills checklist.

A social skills checklist outlines the major social skills and present helpful hints in achieving a better appreciation of these skills. This checklist could be acquired from a counselor or social skills coach. It may also be found in some books on communication and books on social graces.

A social skills checklist can be customized. It can be designed to meet your specific needs and goals. Below is a generalized social skills checklist that you may consider studying. This may serve as your aid in brainstorming ideas as to which social skills you do intend to observe and develop.

1. How to become a good listener.

Listening is the most important social skill and is also the hardest to observe. To improve your social skills you must be determined to meet that objective in the end. There is a need for discipline. In as much as social skills involve one on one communication, listening plays a major role.

You need to listen to your partner when he or she talks and vice versa. You should bear in mind that they don’t just want to be talked to; they also do want to be talked with. The social skill of listening is a give and take interaction. When both parties try to exchange communications, it is an indication that advanced social skill is demonstrated.

Being a good listener, you are not supposed to interrupt as others speak. Never judge harshly and try to comment back after. To make an occasional quick comment is an indication that you are on the same page and you are focused on the topic being discussed. It takes a lot of effort to be patient and courteous as you wait for your turn to be heard. But if you will come to realize it, you will learn a lot if you focus on what the other party is saying.

2. Always say “please” and “thank you”.

The use of the words “please” and “thank you” are sometimes overlooked.

Most often, people tend to forget to express gratitude for the things that were done for them. You should take time to say “please” and “thank you” to those who have taken the time to carry out their services as you have expected them to perform. A kind deed earns good rewards. Your being polite and appreciative of their help will motivate them to further improve their performance.

3. Adopt an open and inviting posture.

Your non-verbal social skills such as your bodily movements, eye-to-eye contact and controlling nervous habits are vital in making other’s feel at ease with you.

Try to behave in a manner that would not be construed as a defensive attack but a posture that would indicate a welcoming gesture.

4. Practice speaking to strangers and start conversations with them.

Small talk may be very hard to evaluate, as little real information may be shared in the conversation. Try to ask surface questions to strangers and listen to their answers. You could be surprised at how their answers will often serve as a lead into an interesting conversation.

Social skills are hard to measure since they are not definitive or material. Thus, you need a social skills checklist handy as you evaluate yourself and how far your social skills progress.

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Social Skills Assessment – the Key to a Happier Social Life

One way of assessing your social skills is to come up with a list of activities that are believed to be useful in gaining social acceptance. Engaging in these activities may improve your social skills if you happen to put them into practice right now.

The following activities can help a person gain peer acceptance, belongingness and increased self-esteem:

1. Cooperation. When one volunteers to help, one develops a sense of self-worth and the other party on the other hand benefits from the support extended towards achieving their goals and objectives.

2. Sharing. When you share time and other resources with someone it is a simple way of letting others feel cared for.

3. Participation. Voluntarily submitting oneself to be involved is one way of being recognized.

4. Be a friend. Have you tried being a friend to a friend in need? If gaining friends is one of your goals in developing your social skills, there may be people around you who maybe in need of a companion.

5. Be patient. Stop being temperamental. People will tend to shy away if they find you to be uneasy and irritated with simple matters.

6. Following Directions. Listen first before arguing.

7. Taking Turns. Learn to give way for others. Do not be greedy of attention.

8. Remaining on Task. Stay on the task assigned. Be responsible for the task assigned to you.

9. Accepting Differences. Accept if you are at fault. Avoid arguments and realize your mistakes. Be humble and say you are sorry.

10. Listening. Respect others’ opinions as they try to respect yours.

11. Praising others and Refraining from put downs. Negative comments bring negative feelings towards you. See the good of others and avoid finger pointing.

12. Be polite and courteous. It is best to be polite and courteous at all times. Regardless of age, sex and status in the community your show of respect for others also brings out the real person in you.

13. Use good manners. You need to be good mannered in order to be welcomed by your group or environment. A person who loves to pick fights is a person not liked and is considered to be a negative influence to the group.

Now, that you have assessed your social skills it is time to improve your social skills. Use the following strategies to get started today:

1. Role playing. You try to act out a short real life situation that happened to you in your community. Your role playing would show how you look at the situation that just occurred. Observers would be able to ascertain the aspects of your personality that affected the outcome.

2. Warm Up Exercises. This tool is designed to allow you to perform and carry out the different behaviors being taught during social skills learning. Such warm up exercises are not real life related.

3. Modeling. Somebody tries to demonstrate the appropriate behavior for you.

4. Homework Assignments. Homework assignments allow you to try new learned behavior. It is expected that exercises based on real life situations will produce positive results.

5. Instruction. Different behavioral patterns are taught in detail and the importance to social situations is explained.

6. Reinforcement. The knowledge acquired through verbal instruction and modeling is put into place.

Assessing your skills and how you would like to go about it is your choice. You should learn that social skills are used to interact with others. Assessment of our social skills, whatever techniques it might be, will help towards building social interaction and awareness of the social situation. Evaluate yourself and decide what to do next.

free communication skills report