How To Deal With People Who Ignore You

In your relationships with those around you there are going to be times when we might upset someone enough that they feel they need to avoid and ignore us. If you can accept you may have played some part in this, you can learn how to deal with people who ignore you.

Being ignored by someone, especially by a friend or someone we care about, can be painful because we feel disconnected from them. Trying to deal with someone who ignores us can be challenging because they do not want to listen to us. However, there are ways to deal with people who ignore you.

1. Try to find out why the person is ignoring you

Maybe you said or did something that they did not like and they feel offended because of it, thus they choose to ignore you. Finding out the reasons why someone is ignoring you can be difficult, especially because they may not be willing to tell you why.

If the person who is ignoring you does not want to tell you why, you might be able to find out why from a third party, like a family member, friend, or even a co-worker. If you can find out the reason, you might want to apologize for what caused the problem if you did something that precipitated it.

2. Talk directly to the person who is ignoring you

If they are not aggressively hostile about the situation, the best thing to do is to go straight to the person who is ignoring you. Talking to a person face-to-face is the best way to resolve practically any problems with anyone because it becomes more personal.

Not only does the person get a chance to hear your sincere words, but your body language and eye contact will also send the message of your authenticity. Additionally, talking to the person face-to-face, takes courage and this alone speaks loudly of your desire to make things right. Often, this will be appreciated by the person that is ignoring you.

3. Modern methods

There may be times when sending the person who is ignoring you an email or text message is the best way to confront them. In some instances, like in the case of aggressive hostility, sending them an email or text message may help the situation.

However, it can also make it worse. Emails and text messages are rather impersonal because the other person cannot see you. Being impersonal can raise questions of doubt about your sincerity.

4. Send a card

If you cannot talk directly to the person, and the relationship is important enough to you, spend a little money and send them a card. In the card let them know that their relationship with you is important enough to you to talk with them personally about the situation.

Most people soften up a bit when someone they are angry at takes the time to send them a card of apology, more than they would with an email or text message.

5. Involving a third party

This is another way of dealing with someone who is ignoring you. This is especially effective if the third party is a friend of both you and the person who is ignoring you. A third party can possibly find out why the other person is ignoring you.

They can also possibly advocate for you and your desire to correct the problem because the one ignoring you may be more open to hear what the third party has to say.

When someone ignores you it can disrupt your relationship with them. In fact, that is part of the purpose of ignoring someone, to disrupt the relationship in a passive way and registering their distress at something you have done. Learning how to deal with people who ignore you can be difficult, but it can be done tactfully and peaceably by using some of these techniques.



  1. sharon says:

    People that ignore me are one’s who know me. and I have done zero to them. It is people who look at me and just walk by. Or ones who I have worked with, and never even say hello. I work with them no longer. but when I did they said hello. I had this happen at a function I was at. There where many, many people whom I knew, and one even walked right next to me and totally ignored me.. It like I am not even alive. I am some sort of bad dream they wish and hope will just go away. Hate goes real deep with the people I know.