Whether you are fifteen or fifty, you will often find that there are people who want to put you down. It`s a way some people have of trying to feel smarter or more superior, but you don`t have to let it get to you.
How to deal with people who put you down? Here are a few tips to help you.
1. Talk to them
Try to find out what is at the root of their actions. Are they jealous of you, angry over some act of yours, mad about something you said or wrote about them? If the person is a sibling, the problem could be as simple as old fashioned sibling rivalry.
This is quite common if you are your parents’ favorite, and they make no effort to hide the fact. Sometimes a put down can actually mask feelings of affection from someone, and by talking to them you may discover they have secretly been trying to get you to notice them.
Simply asking them out on a date can fix the problem.
2. Have responses ready
If this is a chronic problem, in your personal or professional life, have some remarks of your own ready to say back to the person when they hit you with a put down.
The key thing to remember here is to avoid merely insulting them. In most cases, that will just escalate the war of words, and if this person is your boss, you could endanger your job. Rather, what you want to be able to say is something to top them.
As an example, let’s say you’ve written a book, and a family member puts your down by saying you’ll never get published. Your reply could be that you don’t care about that; you set yourself a task, and you did it. How many people who wanted to write a book actually finished it?
In so doing, you’ve deflected their comment.
3. Build your social network
In the event the person who puts you down is a friend or family member, try to broaden your network of friends, and make sure the new people are of a more positive type.
It’s said that there’s strength in numbers; if you’re surrounded by strong, supportive people, it’ll be harder for someone to put you down. Not only will the other people be more supportive – and thus counteract the negative comments from that person – but the person who is putting you down will be less likely to put you down.
4. Look at what’s right with you
Take an assessment of you and your life; what’s good in it, what are you good at, and what’s good about you.
When it comes to how to deal with people who put you down, a key weapon at your disposal is your own self-esteem. If you know there are good things in your life and that you have good attributes, it becomes much harder for someone to put you down.
5. Sever contact
This is the most extreme means of dealing with someone who puts you down, but sometimes you have to do it.
At work, this can mean transferring to a different department or maybe even getting a new job.
If the person is a friend or family member, it means not seeing them any more. In the case of a family member, you may be compelled to see them at family gatherings, but try to minimize your contact.
There are many instances where a put down can be something as simple as a little dig at you. In other cases, they can be cruel and consistent acts that really beat you down. In those cases, how to deal with people who put you down is a very important matter. So, make use of these suggestions, and you’ll be able to defend yourself against people who put you down.