How To Deal With People Who Talk Too Much

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No matter where you go you are at some point going to come into contact with someone you think talks too much. It is unavoidable. Knowing why they do it is the key to how to deal with people who talk too much.

Generally, there is a reason why people talk too much. For example, one reason could be because nobody at home listens to them, and another could be because some people learn by talking.

Have you ever really listened to a talker? Many talkers possess a vast amount of knowledge. Unfortunately, some of these talkers just want you to know how much they know. That can get boring.

How can we deal with talkers when we find that their talking is getting under our skin? Here are some things you can do to help you deal with people who talk too much.

1. Accept it

Acceptance is the key to many, if not all, of our interpersonal relationships, including those relationships in which you think the other person talks too much.

The bottom line here is that you cannot change anyone. You can encourage change in whatever way you might choose, but if the talker does not want to change they are just not going to. We may just have to tolerate it or walk away.

2. Be calm

This is what most of do in many other interpersonal situations so why not be calm in an interaction with someone you think talks too much.

If you have to, you can distract your mind by thinking pleasant thoughts. These pleasing thoughts, whatever you choose them to be, will help keep you calm.

3. Avoid anger

Becoming angry with a talker is no better than becoming angry with anyone else. If the talker has not disrespected or offended you with their words then there is no real reason to get angry with them. They`re just talking. It is like white noise that really doesn`t affect you in any important way.

4. Be honest but kind

This is important if the other person is talking is interrupting something else you`re trying to do, like paying attention to a lecture or watching a movie in the theater. Let the talker know in a calm but firm voice that they are interrupting you. Most talkers will positively respond to the advice.

5. Feed them

Okay, this may sound comical but the truth of the matter is that, for most of us, the mouth can only do one thing at a time. If a person who talks too much has food in their mouth they are likely to talk less. Moreover, most of us know, as even most talkers do, that it is rude to talk while you have food in your mouth.

6. Listen to the person who talks too much

Some people talk a lot when they are stressed or worried about something. As was mentioned earlier, sometimes people who talk too much just need some one to listen to them. And besides you will never know what you might learn when you listen to someone else.

People who talk too much can make you feel trapped and frustrated. If the person who talks too much is a family member or friend you really need to look at the idea of acceptance if you intend on maintaining the relationship. You can try discussing their talkative problem over with them and maybe let them know how it bothers you.

If it works, great! But if it doesn`t you can always teach yourself to adapt to your family member`s talkative ways. If that is not an option then you may need to evaluate your relationship with that person.

You can deal with this positively and to the good of both yourself and the other person, if you approach it correctly. In this article we have reviewed some of the ways we can deal with people who talk too much and still maintain a relationship with them.

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Comments

  1. Mike says:

    Great read. To my own admission I talk a bit too much, something I am working on. Came across your blog accidentally and would like to tell you that you have a lot of solid points. Thanks for taking your time to write this stuff.

  2. chatty says:

    Thank you for your information to help others with listening.

    I have severe ADHD which causes excessive talking. We are already embarrassed by this disorder. Many folks share that we could fix “it” if we wanted to.( Or we are selfish, self centered, narcissistic ,and insecure, or worse.

    Most “help” articles mention that this “bad habit” can be broken, if we would just do this or that.

    Only adding to the despair we feel that we are not good people, and it’s really our fault.

    My sister and I are laughed at and joked at every family gathering (the entire night).

    I take medicine that does help me. She can not due to her heart health, so she really has it more than I. She is the sweetest person you would ever meet. It hurts to hear people say, while rolling their eyes, here she comes.
    My sister is much older, and has a uncontrollable constant “grunting mumble” because of it too. She is only 50!!

    This is not a selfish habit, it’s a disability in many people.

    I found your steps, to be polite and kind in helping people as much as they can do alone.

    I just wondered if you have considered, telling people, under reasons people talk excessively is ADD or ADHD?

    We also get to look forward to loneliness, and being those elderly that mumble gibberish and cannot stop. It is sad and hurts us to be made fun of.

    Want to help and not hurt them?

    1. Give them a time ( Sure I have about 20 mins to catch up) of course you have 30 or an hour.

    2. Mention (Oops, let me check the time. Ok I have about 3 mins left, I really want to know, what did you end up doing?)

    3. When their 20-30 mins are up. say (I just remembered what I wanted to say, I am running late but…(go on for your 30 mins or so.

    4. If they interrupt you can keep talking and say “wait I can’t forget this again) if that doesn’t work you have to go and stop.

    5. Finally if you really love this person, say let’s brew coffee Saturday am and go for a walk and hear the rest of your details.

    This person probably knows, they have a problem. i have never left after talking someone to death, and didn’t think, I am so lucky she doesn’t hate me. I am blesses to have people that understand.

  3. sheena says:

    I tend 2 talk a lot when under stress or angry as hell! This is called ranting and raving. I tell people 2 stop me when they’ve had enough. My aunt, grandma and dad all do it excessively. Add 2 the fact that I was bullied and picked on 4 every reason imaginable from grade 2 til 12. So Im an emotional wreck. My ex couldnt stand me because I was very outspoken and reminded him of his mom and sisters who constantly fussed at him and beat him 4 everything that he said and did wrong!