Largely, the trick behind how to get people to be nice to you is in looking at the way you behave towards other people. You can’t control other people’s behaviour, making them nice to you, but you can make sure you behave in a way that makes them feel like being nice to you.
People will be more likely to warm to you and be nice if you smile at them. The chances are, if you give them a genuine smile, one of those that reach your eyes and lights them up, you will get people smiling right back at you.
This will make you appear a friendly, non-threatening person. Why wouldn’t they be nice to you? Also, smiling at another person works on their subconscious mind.
Unless they are really depressed, they will more than likely smile back at you. This helps to relieve any tension they might be feeling and it is usually this tension which makes people be unpleasant toward you.
Get rid of their tension and they instantly and instinctively feel like being nice to you because you made them feel good.
2. Be nice to other people
It’s an old saying but quite true: “Treat everyone as you would expect to be treated yourself”. If you behave respectfully, politely and in a friendly manner toward people then they are much more likely to behave that way toward you.
Behaving in this way sets out your expectations of how you expect people to behave toward you. The vast majority of people, unless they really have an axe to grind with you, will be nice in return.
3. Show a sincere interest
Pay close attention to what people are saying and respond to them in a friendly, supportive manner and they will likely be nice to you. They will like you showing an interest in them and will reciprocate by showing you the same interest so your friendship can develop.
4. Deal with unresolved issues.
Linked to the previous point, if you have past history with someone which has unresolved tensions in it which are causing them not to be nice to you, then you might need to address these. Do so calmly, rationally and humbly. Recognise and verbalise the issue that is unresolved between you and apologise if you need to.
People usually respond well to that.
4. Be a good listener
This goes hand in hand with the previous point. Actively listen to what people are saying and you will find points in their conversation to pick up and develop or ask them about. This leads to a good, positive conversation.
5. Make use of a name
This works particularly well to get people to be nice to you if you have only recently met them. Remember their name and drop it in to the conversation with them where appropriate. They will be flattered you remembered it and bothered to use it. It shows them you have energy invested in the conversation.
6. Talk about the other person’s interests
In some respects, your job in any conversation is to talk more about the other person than about yourself. Don’t worry; their job in the conversation is to talk more about you! So, ask questions more than you make statements.
Find out what makes the other person tick and use that to steer the conversation on to ground on which they feel comfortable. They will also then be more likely to do the same for you in other parts of the conversation.
7. Make the other person feel important
The previous point helps a lot with this. By letting them talk about themselves and actively listening to what they tell you, this shows the other person that they mean something to you.