No-one likes to feel that they are being ignored. It shows you disrespect and is hurtful. However, on the other hand, being the focus of attention and grabbing all the limelight might not be your thing either.
So how do you learn how to get people pay attention to you: the correct, positive kind of helpful attention that gives you respect and says that you are worthy of taking notice of?
1. Be genuine
Most people can spot a fake. That doesn’t create respect. You need to have the confidence to be yourself and feel that you are worthy of respect for who you genuinely are.
Relax and show your personality, and don’t try too hard to impress as that will only lose you respect. People will pay you a lot more respect if they understand who you are and they know you will stick to that with integrity.
2. Develop yourself
Having just stated that you need to be genuine, it is also important to note that you must be worthy of people’s time if you want them to pay attention to you. So, if you don’t have much in the way of knowledge or conversation skills, learn them. Everyone has things to learn in life and this will help you a lot in getting people to pay attention to you.
3. Practise your social skills
Sometimes, whether people will pay attention to you is more to do with the delivery than the message. Practice speaking clearly and confidently and putting some intonation into your voice which helps people to make sense of what you say and makes you more interesting to listen to.
4. Be honest
You can’t expect people to pay attention to you if they feel they can’t trust you. Therefore, you should always be honest. Lying usually gets discovered and if people think you are a liar they will be less likely to pay attention to you in the future.
5. Say useful things
Lined to the previous point, if you really expect people to pay attention to you, you need to tell them useful things. This entails you seeing things from the point of view of the person you are talking to. What do they need to know from you and what will they not accept hearing from you?
Of course, you stand a much greater chance of people paying attention to you if you tell them things they need to and want to know. That doesn’t mean lying to them of course but if you really must tell someone something they don’t want to know, then you may need to sugar coat the pill a little.
6. Be tactful
Be sensitive and don’t make your words a personal attack. If possible, also always say something positive which will leave the person feeling good. Where you must criticise, be constructive and give the person something clear that they need to change or improve.
7. Set the scene
There are a lot of distractions in modern life and some of those distractions occur in people’s own heads. In order to get people to pay attention to you, you may need to set the scene a little.
At a formal meeting or presentation, insist that cell phones are switched off. Maybe even close the curtains. Even for a more informal communication, if you have something important to say, take the person you are talking to aside to a private, quiet place where you both feel safe and comfortable but where you won’t be distracted.
This is particularly important if you will need to give constructive criticism or bad news.
So, you are in charge of how to get people to pay attention to you. Be a person worthy of respect; make sure you are saying something important and useful and that you deliver your message appropriately, if necessary setting the scene for where you must communicate.