How To Get People To Talk To You

Knowing how to get people to talk to you can be a bit of an awkward experience, especially during times when you are first getting to know a person. With time and familiarity, it becomes easier, but in the early days of communication with a person, it can pose problems.

For example, imagine you find yourself sitting next to a person and you each have acknowledged each other’s presence. Then you might introduce yourself; they do likewise, but from there the conversation kind of dwindles off, except for giving occasional glances to each other and thoughts of who is going to make the next move.

Fortunately for you, you can easily learn how to get people to talk to you. Picking up on the body language that they don’t just want to be left alone and in fact, might welcome communication, is a good start.

1. Maintain eye contact with the person you are trying to talk to, even when you sense a lull in the conversation. Eye contact tells the other person that you are still connected to them and are interested in talking with them.

When people sense that you want to talk to them they will, more than likely, want to talk to you.

2. Greet the person who you want to get to talk to you.

For example, if you are wanting to talk to a person while you both wait for an appointment then greet them. Say, “Hi” to them and maybe even make a comment how nice it is for you to meet them. You will be surprised how many people will want to talk to you when you greet them the right way.

3. Smiling is another key to getting people to talk to you.

For most people, a smile shows that you are friendly and approachable.

Does anyone like talking to someone who has a scowl on their face? The answer is ‘no’ for most of us because scowls can be intimidating, thus making one unapproachable. A smile, on the other hand, helps you connect and want to talk to you.

4. Say something that is mutually relevant to you both to get someone to talk to you.

For example, you can tell someone in the check-out line how beautiful it is outside or how good the service is at the store you`re both shopping at. Comments like these, which are positive, can be a good way to get people to talk to you.

5. Listen to what they are saying when they are talking to you

When you listen the right way people will see you are interested in them and what they have to say. From this approach, not only do you make a connection with others, but you can also gather information that you can use to help people to keep talking to you.

6. Use questions to get people to talk to you.

Again, you can ask “Isn`t this a nice day?”. This example is a simple one, but the point is that questions beg a response. Most people when asked if it’s a nice day will respond in some way.

By listening to their answers, you will also be able to think up some relevant questions to ask.

7. Let them know you want them to talk to you.

If the other isn’t talking to you and you want them to, let them know of your desire for them to do so.

Usually, when a person isn’t talking to you there is a reason why. Try to give this some acknowledgement in expressing your desires to get them to talk to you.

Learning how to get people to talk to you is not a huge problem, unless of course you just don’t want people talking to you. And that’s okay too! But just in case you might someday want someone to talk to you when they aren’t doing so, you can use the above advice to help you get people to talk to you.



  1. elisabeth says:

    How do u get people talk to u when u hav aspergers syndrom? how do u let people u knw u want to talk them if u don’t always notice or even recognize thier social cues?