One trait of people with great communication
skills is a pervasive confidence that is based on
solid techniques not just on a feel good attitude.
Consider the fear of rejection as a prime example
of how the right outlook can take the sting out
of rejection and very often even make feeling
rejected impossible.
For most people rejection is very unpleasant and
even the prospect of getting rejected stops them
from going for their dreams. Yes, the fear of
rejection causes people to avoid situations where
there is any possibility of hearing “No!”.
This is a shame because if you want to have a
great job, to make wonderful new friends and to
make your dreams come true you cannot avoid
hearing that two letter word. Thankfully, you can
take the sting out of rejection and even get to
the point where you can smile at rejection.
How to Smile at Rejection:
1. Treat all responses as feedback
If you are meeting new people and you want to
make friends this is fertile ground for rejection
fears to pop up. For this reason it is very
important to not take any responses personally.
Simply view all responses as feedback to help you
learn and adjust your approach. If flexibility
and persistence does not give you good results
simply do your best and move onto the next
person. Never aim for 100%, do your best and keep
going for it.
Take the pressure off. Forget about being perfect
and view meeting people as a treasure hunt that
can uncover fascinating people and from time to
time some relics that do not interest you. It
will always be a mix of both.
2. Ask yourself – does he qualify?
This is a key distinction when dealing with
people. In your mind, hold the question: does he
qualify? i.e. to be your friend, to spend more
time with you.
Do this in a friendly way of course. If you do
this with pride or arrogance you will create a
very unfavorable first impression and push people
away.
This qualification outlook turns the tables.
Instead of wishing, wondering and waiting to see
if the other person likes you and is responsive
you shift your focus so you are the one making
those evaluations.
Then, if you introduce yourself to someone and he
is rude, unfriendly or simply difficult to deal
with it means he does not qualify to get to know
you better. And when you think about it, the
sooner someone disqualifies himself the better.
It allows you to end the conversation and move
onto to someone else.
I firmly believe that putting worries about
rejection in the past is a critical issue for
many people although few recognize that. Instead
they simply avoid people and situations that
could involve rejection.
Continue to do that at you cost – your dreams,
new experiences and wonderful friendships that
will never happen.
And that explains why I have put a lot of time
and effort into teaching people how to kill that
dragon — I wrote a special report about how to
handle rejection that I offer for $27 at:
Life was never meant to be as difficult as
we sometimes make it. We often make it so by
refusing to learn simple ways to turn around
awkward situations. Rejection is one of those
thorny issues for most people even though it
really does not need to be.
Combine a whole new attitude about rejection with
my step by step communication skills course and
the world will look much kinder and friendlier to
you.