Communication Skills Power

These days, it seems all manner of people are constantly putting their foot in their mouth. How often have we heard the President, a politician, a movie star or a celebrity say something truly stupid on TV or in an interview? There are some simple steps you can take to avoid looking stupid in conversation.

1. Your appearance speaks volumes about you. If you’re in an outfit that’s hopelessly out of date or doesn’t look good at all, many people will not take you seriously. Wearing Velcro sneakers, brown socks, plaid shorts, and a striped shirt are not going to impress anyone. Remember, first impressions are lasting impressions. If people see you as an idiot right from the get-to, it’ll be an uphill battle to convince them otherwise.

2. Study proper English. You want to learn proper diction, and use it. Don’t use improper words like “ain’t” or expressions like “Whazz up?” You might sound current and hip, but you’re not going to sound smart.

3. Consider your audience. If you’re in a social setting with adults, speak in full and proper sentences, and don’t use profanity or slang. On the other hand, if you’re with children and/or teenagers, using words that are too big for them to follow can also lead to them seeing you as stupid.

4. How you behave. Flopping across the host’s couch at a party, chewing with your mouth open, burping, farting, and picking your nose are all things that will lower people’s opinion of you. Remember, body language communicates as much as your words. So, sit up straight, use proper etiquette, and follow the Golden Rule; treat other people the way you want them to treat you.

5. Stay current on the events of the world. If you start going on and on about how Hillary Clinton will be a great President, people are going to see you as very stupid. As Hillary has dropped out of the race, that would show you as being completely out of touch. That is, unless you’re going to talk about a future presidential race. If that is the case, then make that clear.

6. Be sure you brain is “engaged” before you put your mouth in motion. That is, stop and think before you say something. If you blurt out what a great actress you think Paris Hilton is, people will question not only your intelligence, but your sanity as well! Unless you’re surrounded by fellow Paris fans, think about who you are talking to, and ask yourself if saying that is going to come across as smart.

7. Stay focused on the conversation. If you stop in the middle of a sentence and change the subject of what you are talking about to something completely unrelated, people are going to see you as scatter-brained. Pay attention to what you and others are saying, and keep your statements on the topic of conversation.

8. Don’t be crude and vulgar. If you make sexist or racist jokes and/or statements, use profanity in every sentence, people are going to see you as a stupid jerk, and rightly so. None of these things are signs of intelligence.

9. Finally, don’t be insulting. If you’re having a debate about politics, the economy etc. and someone makes a good point, don’t respond by insulting them. To be so petty that you have to win every argument through whatever means you can is going to make people see you as quite foolish and stupid.

When you’re talking to people, a key to not coming across as stupid has more to do with simple common sense than anything else. Think about how you look, how you act, and what you say and how you say it. Look at other people, and ask if you see them as smart. If not, why not? And then look to avoid making the same mistakes they did.

Have you ever been faced with that tongue tied feeling of hopelessness? You most certainly are not alone. Most of the human race will have at some time become stuck for words.

How can you help to stop this from happening? Simply follow the easy steps below. This will help to ensure that this doesn’t happen to you again! Gain confidence and ensure you always know what to say.

Here are some great tips to stop that tongue tied feeling and loss of conversational skills:

1. Finish previous topics of conversation

That tongue tied feeling, more often than not can come from having a brain full of ideas, and not finishing previous topics of conversation. Make sure that you finish each and every conversation on your agenda.

Don’t leave it till your brain is a factory of unfinished topics of talk. This really doesn’t help you in making good conversation.

2. Observe before talking

Some of the more successful conversation makers are successful as they have the ability to listen, and not just to be listened to! So if you are feeling tongue tied and there’s a knot at the tip of your tongue trapping the words, sit back and watch how other people are talking!

It’s a short study period and will help you considerably in you method of approaching a conversation.

3. If it doesn’t make sense then don’t say it!

Half the time you get tongue tied, this feeling comes as you are talking nonsense that really is not relevant to express!

Make sure that the words are necessary and that the topic needs to be addressed. Just by following this simple method of untying your tongue you will maintain an audience of listeners.

4. Ignore those whose ears don’t tune in!

If their ears don’t listen then don’t be disheartened. The same way that you are struggling to be heard, there are people that struggle in the listening process! If your words are falling on deaf ears you can’t help it. Some people really are limited in thought and you can’t draw their attention span with your words.

5. Practice before you speak

Start putting in to practice the words that are in your head; perhaps you could ask a family member to sit down and listen to you before you decide to go public with the conversation.

By doing this you will have had a test run period, this will be a practice for the real thing (a stage rehearsal) helping you to focus and more importantly be focused on.

6. Before talking take a deep breath

A small thing such as taking a deep breath of fresh air before talking will help to maintain that you are able to focus and remain head strong on the topic of attention.

Half the time when you start to go off road in your thoughts and the speech starts to become difficult to come out, this is a result of not being relaxed. The process of breathing in helps to maintain that you feel more relaxed, enabling you to remain focused.

Being tongue tied and losing your words in conversation really is a result of carelessness. If you have the ability to stick to the above tips and methods of untying your tongue then you can help to make sure that you don’t get lost for words!

Try to remember that thinking about being lost for words can lead you to the reality of being lost for words. Everyone gets tongue tied, and you really can’t have lived much without having that tongue tied feeling once in a while.

Stay confident, be calm and don’t let nervous thoughts fill your brain just focus on yourself and the words that you need to express!

If you are not confident by nature the simple task of  starting a conversation is enough to start the heart racing!

Yes you read it correctly! Cold sweats, heart palpitations, shaking, stuttering, are just some of the effects that the faint-hearted can be faced with whilst starting a conversation.

This can all be avoided by following these simple yet effective tips to help your confidence soar.

1. Shyness doesn’t pay. Being timid and shying away amongst the crowd really doesn’t pay off in this day and age. While sitting amongst your friends and listening to their conversations, teach yourself to not only be a listener.

2. Make sure that you contribute and offer your feedback to the conversation. By doing this you will in time gain confidence to start conversation topics with strangers, not just with those you are familiar with.

3. Confidence is the key! One of the qualities that make a great public speaker is the simple yet effective ability to be listened to! Whilst alone stand in front of the mirror, practise speaking stand straight and tall, and talk at a good volume (not shouting).

4. An assertive voice of authority will help to draw people to listen to you. In fact they won’t have the choice not to!

5. Make all eyes on you! If the person that you wish to start a conversation with has their back to you, don’t wait for them to turn around: say their name or say hello to help draw their attention. By doing this you will help to get them listening to you. You will appear confident (even if inside you have butterflies!)

6. Revise beforehand! - I don’t mean turn into a nerd, you don’t have to write it down and take a pen to paper. However if you can simply have a map of thought in your head, with the topic of conversation clearly planned  out. Then upon opening your mouth the words will flow, you won’t be stuck in a trail of thought and you will be able to take the conversation just where you want it to go!

7. Communication is a YES!  Learn to understand that the very way that you communicate with people will be the deciding factor of just how successful that you will be in this life. The very skill of being able to start a conversation will help to take your life to higher limits!

8. Sit and think are there any successful business people that are not able to start a conversation? Can you live your life in the shadows of others?

9. Nerves are what you make them! Teach yourself that nerves really are what you make of them. Don’t allow nerves to escalate and hold you back. A lot of people have difficulty in starting a conversation with a stranger.

Every one struggles in conversation, if you are able to take note and learn the skills provided above then starting a conversation needn’t be stressful. Don’t be nervous. Learn that that the people that you are trying to strike conversation with are probably just a nervous as you.

A lot of people lack the confidence to start a conversation, or perhaps fear talking to the opposite sex. This is a very limited way of thinking, negative thoughts such as they will laugh at me, they won’t find me interesting, etc are really just that. E positive! Negativity doesn’t get you anywhere.