Are you a bore who has no or bad communication skills? Are you the silent type or is your nickname “Buttinsky?” If the shoe fits – wear it. Either way, you are lacking a vital element of your personality development. These communications skills tips are meant to show you some reasons why you have no communications skills and lead you to seek help on your own.Interpersonal relationships are tricky and complicated, and there is sometimes a power play by one party or the other. This power is achieved by one’s ability to speak clearly and get the message across to the other person. Dominance over the other person is often not the issue, and you must recognize that there is a difference between being aggressive and being assertive. Communication skills tips will help you determine whether you are aggressive or assertive.
1. If you are a verbal bully who picks on anybody you come in contact with, you’re relaying a message that you are aggressive, otherwise known as a control freak. Aggressiveness is good in some instances (as in defending yourself against physical abuse), but aggressive verbal bullies are generally people who have no self-esteem who try to bolster their ego by threatening others with their manner of speech and body language. The verbal bully generally finds a good target in a shy, retiring person who is non-assertive and lacks communications skills as well.
2. On the other hand, assertiveness is a desirable characteristic, but it has to be done in the right way. Assertiveness is the art of projecting yourself as someone who is persistently positive and confident. If you allow yourself to be bullied around, you are vulnerable and do not have the ability to defend yourself. If you are too unsure of yourself to speak up and defend yourself or stand up for what is right, you need help from the many self-help books giving communication skills tips or a professional counselor who will educate you in the basic skill of self-assertion. This may involve changing some of your personal traits such as being too passive, sensitive, and insecure.
3. One of the first steps in learning communication skills is to study and practice communications skills tips that are readily available on-line and in book stores. You must have self-confidence and raise your level of self-esteem to its highest level if you want to be effective in the way you communicate with others. Once you gain self-confidence, you will automatically begin to communicate better. Small successes may lead to bigger and better successes in every aspect of your life, thereby increasing your self-confidence.
You should gain communications skills not only to get your point across, but also to learn how to develop a support group via the friendships you will form by using communication skills tips. A friend can help you through difficult social situations, personal relationships, in your job or studies, and can give you friendly advice and encouragement in the areas of your appearance, on moral and ethical issues and even give you tips on how to improve yourself so that your body language communicates your self-confidence to others.
Some very basic communication skills tips that will help you now are:
1. Offer positive input, support and suggestions to co-workers and friends.
2. Ask friendly questions to get a conversation started, but don’t pry.
3. Offer support and enthusiasm to others by making positive statements.
4. Realize that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you may fail in your efforts to communicate with others – don’t take it personally. Study communication skills tips to help you get on the right track. The more ways to communicate you can think of, the more successful you will be.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system: