Tag Archives: how to deal with impossible people

How to Deal with Impossible People

At first, the issue of how to deal with impossible people might sound, well, impossible! But the simple fact of the matter is that no one is impossible. It is all a matter of how you approach them.

1. Get the problem in perspective

When you think that someone is impossible, what you are saying is that they really annoy you. Once you appreciate that fact, you can begin to get the problem in perspective. They may annoy you a lot, but the situation is not impossible to deal with. Realizing that you have some power over the situation and your reactions to it can often calm you down enough to move on to step two in dealing with seemingly impossible people.

2. What is it that annoys you about them?

If you can rationalize what it is that annoys you about the person you find difficult to handle, you can begin to deal with it. Given some time and space to think, you will be able to think about what is annoying you, without feeling so emotionally upset about it. That is the time to move on to point number 3.

3. Talk to the person

You can´t hope to be able to get on better with someone you find impossible without talking to him. But that talk needs to wait until you can be calm about it. When you feel calm, talk to the person privately or maybe with a neutral third person there. Let him know, calmly and clearly, what it is that they are doing that annoys you. Do not get angry and do not keep going on about the point. Just tell them what upsets you and how it makes you feel. For instance: “it makes me feel useless when you ask me to do something but then just take over and do it yourself”.

4. Listen

Once you have had your say about what you find difficult to deal with in the other person, give them the right to reply. The only way to really deal with impossible people constructively is to understand their point of view. Therefore, you need to listen respectfully to how they view the situation. This can be quite enlightening if you really listen. This can show the way forward in how to deal with them.

5. Discuss a compromise

Hopefully, if you have had a calm, rational time where you have stated what annoys you, and you have listened to what the other person has to say on the matter, you will be able to see a way forward. Try to find a solution which gives you both respect and which accepts something of what you both want.

6. See the good in everyone

If you approach your interactions calmly and in good humor, everyone has good points to their character, no matter how impossible they may seem at first. Acknowledging a person`s good points may actually help them become less impossible as they ease off if they feel appreciated.

For instance, a person may seem impossibly domineering, but this may be motivated by their own insecurities. So, you could say to them, “I think it is great how well organized you are with this party; I wonder how I could help?”

This may give them a hint that they have been somewhat domineering. Also, it shows them that you appreciate what they are doing and that may boost their confidence enough to make them let go of the reins a little and allow you to participate.

7. If all else fails make an exit

You may have to cut the impossible person out of your life. If they are not important to you, you may decide that they are not worth the effort to reach an understanding with them. However, you may miss out on something very valuable by not getting to know them better.

So, before you decide to cut someone out of your life, do all you can to learn how to deal with impossible people. You will be a stronger, happier person for it, and you will perhaps learn a lot about yourself and other people.