by Peter Murphy
Sometimes all you need to improve your people skills is a
little determination and a slight shift in perspective.
What do I mean?
Have you ever felt bad after the event when you neglected
to thank someone for helping you? Or maybe, there have been
times when you forgot to encourage a family member before
an important event such as a birthday party or award
ceremony. Those feelings of regret tend to linger and weigh
you down. It feels uncomfortable.
However these very same feelings of regret are powerful
forces we can use to make sure we don´t “forget” again!
Now, how can we use regret in a positive way? It´s simple
really. Whenever you are talking to an individual or group
of people notice when you feel shyness or the tendancy to
be reserved kicking in. Note that familiar pattern as it
starts to take hold.
Then, ask yourself: will I regret this later if I don´t
speak up? And really dive into the discomfort of how much
regret you could feel later on when it is too late.
The key is to give your full attention to the potential
feelings of regret – really feel how it will be if you hold
back in this moment instead of speaking up.
(Of course this only works if you have some preparation in
what to say and how to say it. Review my book and the bonus
reports to brush up on the techniques.)
Very often you will find that the pain of regret is much
more potent than any nerves you feel in the moment. Your
concerns about saying the wrong thing or looking silly will
often fade into the background as you hold in mind how
heavy the regret will feel for days to come.
What can you do now? Like all new techniques and
distinctions – start small and start today! Then, as you
get a feel for this new approach use it in more challenging
Bye for now,
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact.
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